Becoming you

Chapter 9

You woke up early that morning. The first rays of sun were filling the room and everything was quiet. You raised your head to look at Sehun who was placidly sleeping with his arms around you. He looked so calm and soft as he slept. It made you feel so comfortable in his arms. You couldn't help but smile thinking about what happened the night before. Knowing he wanted you in the same way you wanted him was the best thing that ever happened to you. But you couldn't help to feel insecure either. He was used to be with many girls and you weren't like them at all. What if you really weren't what he was looking for? What if you weren't able to give him what he wanted? For him, sex was a natural and normal thing but you weren't ready to do anything with him yet. Fear spread through your body as that thought came to your mind. He couldn't be tired of waiting for you to be ready. You moved his arms slowly and freed yourself.  You watched his peaceful face one last time before you ran to your room. Maybe what you thought was stupid; he never pressured yourself but you couldn't help it. How were you supposed to act around him? You've never been in such situation and didn't know what to do.

You didn't have breakfast and left for class early before Sehun could get up.  You did everything to avoid him that morning but at home it wasn't that easy. You hid in your room but soon the door burst open and Sehun appeared in front of you.

"Why are you avoiding me?", he asked angrily.

"Hmmm", you murmured not knowing what to tell him. "I'm not avoiding you", you finally said sounded as innocent as possible.

"Then how is it possible that we share the same classes and we didn't coincide at all", he said sarcastically.

"I was late and I didn't see you, so I sat somewhere else", you replied.

"You were late? For every single class?", he asked. You could see angry sparkles in his eyes. "You know, it's weird because you left really early this morning", he continued.

"I...", you began. You looked at the floor. You felt guilty for avoiding him and couldn't look at him in the eyes.

"Do you regret about yesterday?", he asked. You've notice he was nervous. His voice sounded worried and even scared.

"No!", you replied quickly. He sighed and kept looking at you, waiting for you to continue. "I... I don't know if I'm what you expect", you finally said.

"What do you mean?", he asked. You sighed. How were you supposed to tell him that? You didn't know where to begin with. You breathed deep and what was stuck on your mind came out without realization. "I've never been with a boy before. I'm not ready for that yet", you said, tripping over your tongue. He looked at you puzzled, as if he was trying to understand what you were saying. His mouth opened slightly as he realized.

"Do you think I'm some kind of sex maniac? Do you think that's the only thing I look for in a girl?", he asked offended.

"No, I... I'm just not like the girls you are usually with", you replied.

"I like you're not that type of girl", he replied as he stroked your cheek softly. His previous angry expression changed then into a sweet one.