Painted Lady {h.s}

can't stop

{"Ten more reasons why I need somebody new
Just like you"}

★ HARRY★

April 9th

1997

The car ride back home was quick, faster than how long it took us to arrive at the restaurant. Zayn and Mitch were pestering me the entire time about why I did what I did, but I stayed silent. I have no idea, or recollection of it even happening. It's almost like I blacked out. As soon as I saw him lay one grimey finger on her, I lost it. The next thing I remember was seeing him on the floor and being terrified of myself. I'm not a violence type of person, I'm a words to describe how I'm feeling, so I have absolutely no clue what had gotten into me.

I saw the fear on Lorelai's face after it happened. I never wanted to be a person she would look at like that. I never wanted to resemble any part of him. She stared at me blankly for what felt like hours, I kept trying to apologize and explain myself but she wasn't listening. She was frozen, terrified. The minute my hands grazed her face and she jerked away, I knew I had messed up. I needed to know what she was thinking. When she eventually snapped out of it, all she could focus on were the scratches on my knuckles. The ones I wasn't even aware were there.

We rushed out of the restaurant, the guys praising me and pulling me away. I wished I could've checked on Lorelai just once more before we left, but she was whisked away by Faye and Harlow. I watched all the passing buildings to try and distract myself from thinking about the look on her face.

I'm completely out of my own depth.

We pull into the garage behind Faye's car, parking in our designated parking spots, and walking to the entrance quietly. The elevator ride up to our floor was completely silent. Lorelai leaned her head against one side of the metal box, and I stared at her from the opposite side. All our feet scraped the floor as we walked to the front door. Faye said her goodbyes to everyone, hugging Lorelai for a prolonged amount of time and whispering something in her ear. Zayn tried to plead with her to stay. Telling her that he was really 'shaken up' from tonight's events. She left anyway.

None of us said a word when we entered the loft. We all stood in the small foyer, hanging our coats and leaving our shoes in a pile.

"Do you guys wanna hang out, or are we all too exhausted?" Harlow breaks the silence, testing the waters.

"I actually kinda want to be alone..." Lorelai speaks, creeping slowly towards her room.

Everyone mutters their thoughts of understanding, unanimously deciding to go our separate ways. We all say goodnight to one another and head to our own rooms. I reach my door last, looking back for just a second at Lorelai's door, hoping it would open. When it doesn't, I creep into my room. The dark tones do nothing to lighten my mood. The clutter and mess stress me out more than ever. I know that I am not tired enough to sleep, not after tonight, so I decide to finally clean this shit hole.

I start with the mess on the floor, picking up the random articles of clothing and wrappers of food. I grab the small trash can that hasn't been used since I got it, and throw everything in it. I finally fold all my clean laundry that has been sitting in a basket for days. I pick up the small trinkets that have fallen and put them in their designated spot. Maybe it's a good thing that Lorelai said she wanted to be alone, gives me time to take care of my own shit. I don't like the thought of her being alone, but she said it herself, she 'kinda wants to be-

Wait.

WAIT!

She kinda wants to be alone.