wannabe

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{"Now don't go wastin
My precious time
Get your act together
We could be just fine"}

★ HARRY★

April 19th

1997

"Make sure to keep your wrist loose while you strum." I instruct Oliver.

I've been keeping a secret from everyone for a while, and I'm far too embarrassed to bring it up now. It's not like they'd make fun of me for it, but they would ridicule me for keeping it hidden for so long in the first place. It's something that absolutely no one knows about me, including Lorelai.

On most weekdays I tell everyone that I have to stay late to count deposits or whatever for the shop. In reality, I give free guitar lessons to kids in the city. It's something I started doing a couple months ago after a kid came into the shop with his parents. He begged for hours for a guitar but his parents said that they couldn't afford lessons, so they wouldn't buy it for him. I walked up to them and offered to teach him for free. It was always after the shop closed, and it used to just be the one kid once a week. Word got around and all of a sudden I had parents knocking down my door for lessons. I could have said no, and some days I think I should've. But seeing the kids' faces when they strum the right chord, or when they finally perfect a song, it's a whole different type of fulfillment.

"Play a G chord." I watch Oliver's fingers move on the fretboard. He strums once, his face instantly scrunching up in disgust.

Oliver was one of the first kids to come into the shop for lessons, and I don't want to choose favorites, but Oliver is my favorite.

"That wasn't right." He mutters, disappointment in his tone.

"No it wasn't, but that's okay, just try again." I reassure him, watching his fingers skillfully correct themselves. He strums once again, this time sounding a lot better.

"There ya go!" I applaud.

He smiles brightly up at me, making my heart warm.

"Okay, practice your chord shapes and maybe next week we can move onto fingerpicking." I tell Oliver, watching as he places his guitar in its case.

I follow him to the door, his mother waiting in the car to pick him up.

"Thanks Harry! See you next week!" He yells as he walks to the car, his mother waving to me through the windshield.

I close the door behind myself and rush to grab my things, excited for this day to finally be over. I walk to the door and fling it open, making sure to lock it behind myself. I casually stroll to my car, getting giddy at the idea of seeing Lorelai when I get home.

I'm not sure exactly when giddy became a feeling I get, but I don't mind it. It feels like my head is buzzing and my stomach is swirling. It feels like I'm terribly ill, but in the best way possible. Things have been great with Lorelai. She's been great. I never expected to feel this way about her, but I don't care. I want to scream it from the rooftops, tell strangers on the street. I want to tell our friends, my parents, and everyone else in between.

I think I want her to be my girlfriend.

That thought scares me for many reasons. The only girlfriend I've ever had, if you can even call it that, embarrassed me. I swore off the whole idea of a girlfriend for a while. It's terrifying how one girl can change my whole mindset.

I pull up to the parking garage of the loft, my legs getting antsy. As soon as I'm parked, I practically run to the elevators. The doors fly open and I step on. Recently, when I'm not around Lorelai, time seems to move in slow motion. More so now that I've decided on asking her to go steady.

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