I've always wanted you.

Chapter Thirty- Three

Hours has come and gone while the entire of the Mikaelson family slept through morning. Lizzie had stayed up until dawn reading diaries she found that Hope's dad had written, she was mainly looking for gossip from her mom and him, but all the pages of his writing ended up intriguing her.

Keelin and Freya were up first, baking blueberry muffins together before Keelins shift at work. Kol was up next, he passed out on the couch just before Lizzie had opened the diaries. He claimed that his brothers life was not one she wanted to read about, of course she ignored him.

Marcel and Rebekah hadn't seen eachother alot these past few weeks due to busy schedules so their late night activities consisted of some much needed 'catching up'....

It was safe to say neither of the two had opened their eyes before the afternoon

And finally there was Josie. She awake at around 10am but didn't dare to leave Hope alone, so simply lay next to her trying to comfort her while she slept.

Josie never meant to intrude on Hope's dreams. However, Hope did have a habit of subconciously letting Josie enter her mind while she slept.

Josie hoped she did it because she felt safe around her and Hope's mind wasn't as shut off, but a part of her wondered if it was because Hope was scared in her sleep and wanted help.

Today when Josie was allowed into her mind Hope was dreaming about her childhood, playing with butterflies with her father and watching as her mom sang her lullabies. Josie wanted her dream to stay this peaceful so she wouldn't have a nightmare.

But it didn't.

Her dream wasn't scary from monsters she'd made up in her head or from crazy make-believe stories about ghosts chasing her, but from her real life.

True some changes to it were altered but for the most part these visions were her memories.  For example the butterfly she was holding turned to a scalpel, and her lullabies turned into cries for help. Her screams and her hurt was all muddled up, from begging for a man to leave her skirt alone, to her cries in Freyas arms after her mom's passing.

Josie could see all of Hope's dream, every horrific detail. Josie herself was centred in alot of the dreams, usually being hurt in some way as Hope was forced to watch.

What bothered Josie was that when she took herself out of Hope's mind to awaken her, Hope was showing no signs of a bad dream. No shortness of breath, no fidgeting, not even her heart rate was high. Hope was so used to her dreams being like this that it no longer made her startled. Almost as if she was trapped inside her own head while she was sleeping, but not scared enough that she could escape.

Josie wondered if perhaps Hope had grown numb to it all. Should she wake her? Was it better for her to sleep through a bad dream or was it better to let her loose out on sleep to stop this.

Before she did decide Hope opened her eyes sleepily, pulling Josie closer to herself like a teddy bear. Hope just stared at the wall across from her as her head rested on Josies chest.

Of course Josie was worried, checking for signs of distress but there was none. Hope just seemed exhausted.

"Good morning my love. Did you sleep okay?" Josie whispered quietly as she held Hope in her arms and kissed the top of her head.

"Mhm," she responded squeezing Josie tighter.

A few moments passed in silence before Josie continued.

"Whats on you mind?"

"I don't know... Do you ever feel like your on the verge of something. And it's not good but at the same time there is nothing you can do to stop it," Hope replied in a solemn voice.

"Are you saying this because of what happened in you dream?" Josie asked as she smoothed Hope's hair.

Hope lifted her head from Josies chest and sat up next to her.

"I did it again didn't I? I swear I don't mean to make you see them I'm really sorry," Hope said as she held Josies hand to comfort her.

"You did do it again, but its okay I'm fine with you doing it and you don't need to apologise, you can't control it. But urm can I ask.. do you dream things like this alot?"

"I don't know, lately I have been I don't know why though. What if I have another depressive episode and that's why it keeps happening?" Hope asked scared as she didn't want to put Josie through that again.

"It's okay don't stress yourself out, you have your medication now and I won't let that happen to you. But maybe if you talk abit about why you might be having these dreams or how you feel it might help ? "

Hope sighed and Josie invited her to sit cuddled up to her.

"I don't know why. I thought I was over the whole trauma stuff and I still feel like I am. It's just lately I've been feeling like really scared. I don't know why. I'm scared that you will see something you don't like and leave me or that you will get hurt or that I will push you away. I don't mean to feel like that I swear I'm sorry," Hope explained

"I think it sounds like you may have a slight fear of abandonment and maybe something has triggered you these past couple of weeks to set this off do you know what it could be?"

"I don't know I'm really sorry I wish I did I swear I'm not lying," Hope said almost on the verge of tears.

"Hey its okay baby I believe you you don't need to apologise its okay. Since we don't know what's caused it we can try to fix it slowly together,"

Hope's head nodded and Josie stood from the bed lifting Hope with her to stand up.
"Now the first step is going downstairs to get some nice breakfast because I think one of your aunts made blueberry muffins and they smell nice and will make you happy okay?"

This is a short chapter but I will try update with more tomorrow <3