A/N
no joke, the original title for this oneshot was 'Fan dakr web oh my golly gee'
ooooh my gosh you guys
i see anything relating to technology and my brain plays the little instrumental at the beginning of Two Player game ooooh my golly gee
it's like bee ba da ba doo ba dee ba da doo da, bee ba da ba doo ba dee ba dee da da y'know?
golly, i love Be More Chill
it's like... Fan's musical
3rd POV
Surfing the dark web wasn't everyone's hobby, but it sure as hell was Fan's. Which is how he found himself on a strange string of websites relating to Inanimate Insanity. Relations to Inanimate Insanity meant that they could possibly relate to him, but Fan wasn't smart enough to realise that.
Paintbrush stared over at Fan. "I'm heading down for brekkie. I'll probably bring up Lightbulb and Test Tube after, 'kay?"
Fan hummed in response, too busy traversing the low-quality website builds. Paintbrush sighed at their roommate's behaviour, muttering a goodbye before leaving. Minutes passed with nothing but the click of a mouse and the tapping of keys filling the air. Eventually, Fan came across a strangely blank page, presenting him with a single asset.
"Buy..?" He whispered under his breath, clicking the labelled button.
It took a moment to load but when it did, Fan couldn't help but gasp. Pictures of every contestant were shown on the page, with prices listed underneath. Fan gulped and willed himself to scroll, only to find his entire friend group there as well. Fan was well aware this could've just been a joke, a scam to get quick bucks – but the idea of it being real frightened him, and he began crying before he could stop himself.
"No, no, no..." He muttered quietly, curling into himself.
Mere minutes passed, but they felt like hours to Fan. He was shaken to his very core by such a realisation, regardless of the fact that it involved his teammates. After about ten minutes of quietly sobbing in his room, Fan was startled by the sound of the door opening.
"Yo, I'm back with... Are you okay?"
He was frozen – like a deer in headlights, like he was caught crying by Paintbrush.
"I, uh-"
The door was further opened, and in walked both Lightbulb and Test Tube. Test Tube analysed the room, her eyes finally settling on the trembling figure of Fan as she pushed up her glasses. With an almost inaudible sigh, she walked to the side of the bed and pulled him close. Lightbulb soon followed, taking the laptop from in front of Fan and looking at the screen. Paintbrush sat on the other side of Fan, allowing him to lean onto them.
"What happened?" They whispered quietly.
He shakily pointed to the laptop Lightbulb held.
"Dark web jazz." She stated bluntly. "Not very jazzy, people are tryna sell us. Capitalism makes people do anything for money..."
"Did that scare you?" Test Tube asked.
"Y-Yeah... I don't, uhm, do well when it come t-to things like this."
"I'm aware." She looked to a corner guiltily.
"I can't believe people actually do this kinda stuff. I'm sorry you had to see that, Fan."
The blogger only sniffled, leaning into Paintbrush's gentle embrace. Lightbulb suddenly brightened, turning around the laptop to show the others the screen.
"I got an IP!" She remarked with a wide grin.
"I thought the point of- Whatever, gimmie that."
The clacking of computer keys echoed throughout the room for no more than five minutes before Test Tube spun the laptop back around.
"Informed the police." She stated.
"If the police don't do anything, then I'm gonna kill whoever did this."
Fan attempted to stutter out a rebuttal to Paintbrush's statement, but he was shushed by Lightbulb before he could.
"Ay, Paper, don't even worry about it. We'll get this fixed faster than you can say 'buncha munchy crunchy carrots'!"
"...Lightbulb, was that an Octonauts reference?" Fan asked, eyes gleaming with excitement.
"Oh no..." Paintbrush remarked fondly.
"You betcha!" Lightbulb said with a grin.
"Oooh! My favourite character was always Shellington! I don't think he gets enough attention, and he's a super cool guy! I always thought..."
And off Fan went on a tangent that distracted him, just as Lightbulb planned! Paintbrush quietly tried to sway Test Tube into telling them where the IP address was, as Lightbulb engaged with the conversation as best she could. Test Tube sighed in relief when she noticed the huge smile on Fan's face. Unfortunately for her, that gave Paintbrush a chance to peer at the IP, and to double down on that, the culprit wasn't too far away.
—
"Paintbrush..? It's almost three in the morning. Where were you?"
OJ squinted heavily – mostly due to the light – but also since he wasn't wearing his glasses. Paintbrush stood by the door, seemingly strangely calm. By now they would've said something along the lines of, 'how's it your problem?' or 'since when did you care?' The lack of reaction was very out of character, and very unnerving.
"Paintbrush-?"
"I was working." They mumbled.
OJ raised a brow. Paintbrush didn't have a job – did they?
He almost spoke, but seeing the way they stared at him, OJ decided staying quiet was the better option. They limped past at an agonisingly slow pace. OJ felt his breath hitch when they stopped and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Thanks for not asking." They practically grumbled. "Less questions, less problems, y'know?"
OJ struggled to form words as Paintbrush patted him on the shoulder, sighing deeply before heading towards the lift. They pressed a button, waited for the lift to arrive, then left without another word.
"...What?" OJ finally managed.
A/N
this one's a bit shorter because i didn't know what else to write
it was still fun writing this
i felt like be more chill the entire time
and oooooh of course vee added octonauts into this
ooooooooooooooooh yeah ← the mental illness kicking in
E/N
head empty, no thoughts
struggling with work so i speed-edited, hope i didnt miss anything
anyways
till next time bromies and homies! bye bye!
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Bfb/ Inanimate Insanity oneshots
Fanfictionhello stranger! (or not a stranger, you never know!) if you were unable to interpret the title, this is a oneshot book revolving around inanimate insanity and bfb/tpot! (recent additions are ONE and The Nightly Manor wowie!!) what you'll see in here...
