Lou's Gold (Larry Stylinson) (COMPLETE)

Chapter 11: I Can't Have You

One.

My lip quivered. My ragged breaths left me like a fish out of water. I clung to Louis' bed as if it were my only source of life and inhaled, letting the aroma of last night fuel me to sit back up. Gasping for air, I listened.

Two.

My free hand ran through my hair and tugged at the bottom. This isn't working, I need help, what do I do? I reached under my shirt and scratched my stomach, only for a second relaxing my mind and pretending everything was okay. I clamped my eyes shut and waited.

Thr-

"Yes, Harry."

"Ash..." My voice squeaked weakly.

The concern in Ashton's voice rose immediately. "What's wrong, what happened?"

"I fucked up. We fucked up." I emphasized my words carefully to tell him without saying what had truly happened. I choked back a sob and submitted to his verbal punishment.

"Okay," he said calmly to my surprise. "So you two slept together. Now what?" I cleared my throat but remained silent, breathing onto my phone. "You're gonna forget about Diana and just be with Louis, then?"

"No. Well, I don't know. He just left."

"Louis?"I nodded, seconds later feeling stupid and opening my mouth to respond before he cut me off. "What do you mean? Where'd he go?"

"I don't know. He woke up this morning and told me he'd be taking me home at noon. Then he left." I cringed at my own voice knowing I sounded like a child with the way I presented my problem.

"I'll go pick you up. I can't let you stay there any longer with him tugging at your feelings like that."

"No, he's making it pretty clear he doesn't like me back." A frown shot to my face before I had a chance to prevent it. I looked down at the once messy, love-tangled sheets and felt tears bubbling up in my tear ducts. "I want to know why," I continued, my voice breaking with every word, "why he just left. We started as something so special." I closed my eyes and covered my face with my free hand, bawling into my palm. "I honestly thought he felt what I was feeling too."

"Shhh, don't cry man," Ashton murmured, ineffectively trying to calm me down. It had been rare for him to have me break down in front of him and he was fairly good at calming me down, in person, that is. Over the phone, all I had was my own hands rubbing my back for comfort. "Some things are better left without answers. Take this as a lesson learned. I'll bring you home, you, Gemma and I will rent a movie, buy ice cream and soon Louis will be just a memory, like all the others before him."

"I can't go yet." My voice hardened, I sniffed and swallowed any oncoming tears. "I can't go without talking things out with Louis."

I heard Ashton sigh furiously. "You never wanted to talk things out with other people you slept with."

"Louis is different," I said, questioning whether it was Ashton I was really trying to convince with that statement. "He's unlike anyone I'd ever met. The chemistry between us is unbelievable and I know if I can just get the truth out of him he'll say what his eyes tell me every time he looks at me."

There was a pause, then Ashton's voice snapping at me. "Is this what you called me for? To turn down everything I offered?"

I bit my lip, ashamed that I burdened Ashton with my Louis trouble knowing I wouldn't take his advice. "I called you because you're my best friend. You help me think straight and decide what I want to do, even if you don't agree with it."