I woke up feeling exhausted. I panted while i sat up in my bed, with an empty side. I immediately pulled on the string of the lamp, revealing my room. Derek's in surgery. I comforted myself. It's halloween. My mother is dead. She is not here. Derek is alive. I took some big breaths, pulling put the sweaty hair from my face. I'm okay. It was a nightmare. Just a nightmare. I put my bare foot in my slippers, and opened the door of my wardrobe, pulling out something which was like a vase. An urn. I held it carefully in my hands, and took the steps of the staircase carefully. I entered the kitchen seeing Alex and Izzie sitting there.
-What are you doing? - i asked them, as i opened the cupboard, pulling out a zip-zop bag.
-It's halloween. We are carving a pumpkin. Couldn't sleep.- she shoved me the orange food with it's content on a plate next to it. I untied the bag and poured everything from the vase into it. Alex's eyes followed it.
-Happy freaking halloween...- he said.
-Mer, why are you up? - Izzie asked me.
-Couldn't sleep. - i sighed closing the bag, putting it down on the kitchen counter, and filling a glass with cold water, hoping it would help me. I took the stairs up again, and didn't even care to get back into bed. I turned the shower on and got in, which made me feel better, alone. Suddenly i was very aware that Derek was in the hospital, so i got dressed.
-On call? - Alex asked me, as i grabbed my purse downstairs.
-No.
-Where are you going? - Izzie asked me.
-Hospital.
-You okay?
-Yeah. I just need to see something for myself. - i thought of Derek, and grabbed my keys to the car.
-Have fun! - i smiled at them tired.-Why are you here? - Christina asked me. She was on call tonight.
-Is Derek in surgery? - i asked her still panting a little.
-OR 6. Are you okay, Mer?
-Mhm. - I nodded, but took the steps nearly running to the gallery of OR 6.
When i got in, i saw Sydney looking at the movements of Derek from a chair. She was the only one in the early hours there. I kept looking at Derek's movements too, a huge stone falling of my heart when i saw him. It was just a dream. A bad dream. He is okay. More than okay. He looked-up at the gallery, and our eyes met. I saw a slight worry in his, but i nodded my head, keeping the eye-contact for another second, before i broke it. I felt him look at me for another brief moment, before he turned back his attention to surgery. I was making sure i am okay, by breathing him in with my eyes.
-You guys make a cute couple. - someone said knocking me out of my thought.
-Ohm...thanks. - i answered to Sydney, apparently, when i looked to the direction where the voice came from.
I stood up, first walking, but them racing back to the locker room. I didn't know how much time i had spent by sitting in the gallery watching Derek's neat movements. It was a long surgery. When i got back to the changing room of the residents', i was very aware of the fact that my mother was with me. Actually, in my pocket. I pulled the bag out, and put it on my shelf.
-What the hell is that? - Christina asked me.
-Her mother. - Izzie answered instead of me.
-What? - she asked back.
-This is so creepy. - Alex pulled a shirt over his head.
-Why is she here? - George asked me.
-I couldn't sleep. She was ghosting me. At halloween. I needed to get her out of my closet.
-Were she in your closet all this time?! - Izzie panicked.
-I have no idea how Shepherd can sleep next to you...- Alex teased me.
-Okay...this is not the time for joking. I...i need to...go. - i sighed, still afraid. Of something.
-Don't leave her here! - Christina ordered me.
-Why?
-Because...she is the Ellis Grey. In a locker, next to a pair of sock.
-Yeah, and she is also my mother. - i said, but finally taking the bag out.
-Bye. - i ran out again.
I needed to avoid Derek. He was okay. And he would've noticed me being all...strange immediately. I needed time. To think. I needed to get rid of the ghosts. Well, actually i wasn't sure i had ghosts with me, but get rid of my mother's ashes respectfully. I couldn't just leave it on a shelf anymore. She was scaring me. This nightmare had proved it. And the previous one, a night ago.
-Mer. Webber is moving into the apartment. - Christina greeted me again, a round later.
-How so? - she surprised me.
-He needs a place. Adele wants him to move out. And i don't want Burke's place. I said it is his. I already rented a nice flat.
-You can come over. Whenever you want. Sleepover. - i offered as soon as i could.
-Yeah. Thank you. But i need a new place. - i nodded understandingly.After lunch i was organizing the papers in my hand, while crossing the hallways. I'd manage avoiding Derek for 6 hours now. 6 whole hours, and we hadn't met. Just like i needed it to. Suddenly i crushed into a chest, and dropped the contents of my hands. I recognized the essence, and the dark blue shirt even before i looked up to confirm my expectations. The dark brown eyes met mine. Derek.
-Mer. You are avoiding me. - he stated, holding both of my hands, while facing me, for a moment.
-No...I am not. I.. am not. - i defended myself, and got down to the ground, to pick up my files. And my mother.
-Yes, you are. Have i done something wrong? - he asked lowering himself too, to help me.
-No...It's not you..
-So, you are really avoiding me. Is it the house plans? I thought you liked that. - he made me look into his eyes.
-No, of course not. It's ... nothing. - i started collecting my mother's ashes.
-What is that? - he slowed my movements, by grabbing my hands with the bag and a handful of the sand-like thing in them.
-Charts. - i answered trickily.
-Mer.
-My mum. - i sighed.
-What? - he asked in a worried voice, and his face transformed from a confident Mcdreamy smile, to a confused Mcdreamy smile.
-She was in my closet before, but you knew that. I freaked out, so i brought her into work, but she was freaking people out here, so i couldn't leave her in the locker room. Do you think it's highly disrespectful to leave her in my car? - i rambled rapidly.
-Mer. Slow down. It's okay. Stand up. - he held my hand, pulling me up, and helping to put my mother's ashes into the plastic bag, leaving the charts on the floor.
I was still breathing heavily, like for the last 7 hours. He pulled the bag out of my hand and closed it, taking it from me. I hugged him close to myself, and his hands slipped protectively around me, as i pulled on his curls, and hid my head in the crook of his neck. We stayed like this for a minute. I finally felt a bit calmer, finding someone who can comfort me with his bare existence. When he pulled away, he grabbed my charts from the ground, and we found an on-call room. He opened the door for me, and i entered. Unfortunately Bailey was deeply asleep on a bed. We sat down on another one.
-Mer. Why were you here this morning? - he pulled me into his lap, while i was facing him, still hiding in his body.
-I couldn't sleep.
-Nightmare, again? - he asked quietly, careful not to wake Bailey, and i slightly nodded my head.
-You need to do something with those ashes. Then you could sleep peacefully again. And with me. - he smirked at the last part.
-I know...- i chuckled in a low voice.
-Why were you avoiding me?
-You would've known..That something was wrong. Actually you did...And i didn't know what to do. - i faced him, keeping eye-contact. I shot the sleeping form a look when it stopped snoring.
-You could've come. We will solve it. - he confronted me.
-Okay. - i nodded, managing to breath normally again.
-Put her in the back of your car for the day. We will figure it out tonight. And take care of it tonight. So you get a good night sleep. With me.
-Okay. I can do that. - i nodded again. It seemed like this was the only thing i could do now.
He kept looking at my lips, like he has done a million times before. I knew he was going to kiss me. Softly. Passionately, but softly. Caring. Making me feel better. I wasn't disappointed when i felt his lips stick to mine. I pulled closer to him, and made myself forget about my mother for a while. Just to feel better. Calm. Normal. He pulled back a handful of my hair, and the touch of our lips kept giving a little sound. The sound when two people find each other, their missing parts. Our lips stayed connected, and i moved my hips slightly over his torso, and he groaned into the kiss.
-Grey, i better not see you making out with Shepherd in a bed, when i open my eyes! - a voice came from the sleeping form, who we had totally forgotten about. We immediately separated, and i jumped out of Derek's lap. But when i turned around, i already saw Bailey staring at me, as i blushed hard.
-Miranda. - Derek nodded, while undressing me with his eyes.
-It's Dr.Bailey for you, now. - she corrected him.
-You know, i am your boss. - he said smiling at me still.
-Yeah, and you were just making out with someone who works for you, weren't you? So i think we can break rules. - she stood up.
-I...I will go now. Find me...When you know... - i looked at Derek, hoping he could understand, and grabbed the cubby from next to Derek.
I quickly excused myself from the uncomfortable situation, and hurried to the nurses station, just to realize i had forgotten the charts in the on-call room.
YOU ARE READING
Elevator love merder
FanfictionA continuation of the series from season 3. Some changes were made in the storyline, but nothing too huge, basically more focused on their private life, and less on surgery. They take steps more quickly than in the series. Also it becomes more inter...