Hello And Goodbye

Chapter 5: Too Late

Something definitely changed—from the way she looks at me to how her stare lingers. Ang nakakamangha lang ay whenever I caught her na nakatitig sa akin, hindi siya umiiwas ng tingin. She would sweetly smile at me. But what bothers me? Her eyes. May glint of sadness akong naaaninag sa kanyang mga mata.

We are focused more than ever sa pag-aaral ngayong nasa 3rd year na kami. Ramdam kong mas nagiging matured na rin kami. We are turning 21 after all. At dahil naging civil na ang relasyon namin ni Jackson, madalas na siyang sumasama sa grupo namin. Nagkaroon lang ako ng kakaibang pakiramdam nang mapansin kong mas carefree makipag-usap si Tricia sa kanya kumpara sa akin. I mean, she laughs naturally when she's around him. Hindi kagaya ng sa akin na may times na she would act reserved. Nalalapit na ba 'yung araw na kinatatakutan ko?

Maliban sa pagiging loaded ko na rin sa studies, madalas na rin akong sinasama ni daddy sa mga business events niya. Unti-unti na niya akong pinapakilala sa mga prominent na tao sa industry. Dahil dito ay nalilimitahan na ang pagbo-bond namin ni Tricia. Kapag nasa university na lamang kami bumabawi. 

Ramdam kong darating din ang araw na ito, kahit ilang beses kong dini-deny sa aking sarili. The fateful event happened in the fourth week of January. May laro kami ng araw na iyon. At bilang nakasanayan, nanonood si Tricia. She cheered for me at sumisenyas siya ng thumbs-up tuwing tumitingin ako sa gawi niya. My muse.

May napansin akong commotion pagkatapos ng game. Magkakampi kami this time ni Jackson at nanalo kami sa laro. May players na biglang nagtipon-tipon sa bench di-kalayuan sa kinatatayuan ko. Maya-maya pa'y nakita kong nag-emerge si Jackson mula sa kumpulan na iyon na may hawak na microphone.

"Magandang hapon sa inyong lahat!" panimula niya. 

Naghiyawan ang mga nasa court, karamihan sa kanila mga kababaihan. Ito 'yung grupo ng mga babaeng estudyante na madalas mag-cheer sa kanya tuwing may laro kami.

"Konting storytime lang, pagbigyan n'yo na ako. Para na rin maiintindihan niyo kung bakit ako nakatayo ngayon sa inyong harapan at may hawak na mikropono."

Unti-unti akong nagiging balisa. I don't like where this is going.

"Throughout my teenage years, binansagan akong dakilang flirt. No one straight-up pointed that out to me, but I knew. I thought I was just being friendly till na-realize kong that's not how it works. You don't French kiss your friends sa dulo ng hallway o kaya sa lab room. Mas lalo ng hindi sa stockroom."

Nagtawanan ang audience, maliban sa akin at kay Tricia. Hindi ko maiwasang magtaas ng kilay at mapailing. Is he washing his dirty linen in public?

"The realization hit me hard when I met her."

Uh-oh. This is getting bad.

"Nakilala ko siya nung Senior High. Huling taon. Her angelic face and beautiful smile were the first few things na bumighani sa akin. Then, I realized it was just the surface. Her soul captivated me the most. She is pure. Naalala ko pa ang first interaction namin. I was new, and so I made an alibi of asking her for the restroom—I wasn't interested in where it was; I just wanted to hit on her. And she said, 'You might need a map for that'."

Tawanan ulit ang audience.

"And I was like, 'Oh, she was hitting me back!' But I was stunned when she indeed handed me a map—a school map, which, to be fair, is a must if you are a new student. That school was humongous."

Ohhhhhh, the audience was amazed this time.

"And it hit me. I instantly felt guilty for approaching her with dirty intentions. I felt like trash while looking into her innocent eyes. Tinanggap ko ang map na binigay niya, and I've been humbled since then. Time passes by, and I notice that I have changed—naturally. Thanks to her, I realized that I could be better."