Just the Beginning

19

MATT

I wake up and it's easier to open my eyes. It's dark wherever I'm at. I can't honestly remember. I know Ana showed up, put me in a car and took me somewhere. I had a shower.. but where? Oh. I remember now. At least some. Or am I dreaming? I start to move my hand slowly, realizing there's another on mine.

I don't make any sudden movements. My memory is so fuzzy... I can't tell if what I'm thinking actually happened or if I was literally dreaming and I'm still at my dads. Eventually I'm able to free my hand from theirs but when I sit up I'm met with easily the worst pain of my life.

That's when it all comes back. Getting in her car, the stairs, the shower.. I felt the same pain. God I can't forget that. So wait.. it's real? It's real. She found me.

"Ana?" I whisper, "is-is that you?" My heart is racing right now. I feel like such an idiot. I feel like this is going to get her hurt.. like I just put her in a horrible horrible position. Is she going to be mad? I couldn't blame her. Is she going to leave me? I mean I know we aren't together but she could easily walk out of my life and I can't say I'd blame her for that either. Is she scared of me? Does she think I'm capable of what happened to me now?

"Matt?" Her voice sounds full of worry. But it's still so beautiful. The lamp beside us turns on, "you're awake-" She gasps and then pauses. "Are you okay? How are you feeling?" She asks. I look at her for a moment. I can't open my eyes fully. I can only imagine how goofy I look.

"You-you're not mad?"

"Mad?" Her eyebrows furrow a bit, "no. No I'm not mad, Matt. I'm not mad at you. Here, I brought you some aspirin.. Might not take it away but it'll help to some degree. Oh- and water, here. I tried the rag.. to see if it would help take down the swelling— I'll stop. Sorry. I know I'm just rambling-"

"No," I can feel the smile trying to form but I'm sure it's not noticeable, "no- it's okay. Thank you-" I go to lean up without thinking and find myself almost in tears from the pain. She's quick to stand and get in a position to help me but I'm not sure there's anything she can do. "It's okay- it's okay," I grunt as I fall back onto the couch. My stomach starts to growl, I'm sure she can hear it.

"Are you hungry?" She looks into my eyes, "I can go heat this up?" I look over slowly to see a plate of food; chicken and mashed potatoes. I feel bad. I don't want to make her do anything. She grabs it, "I'll be right back." Before I can stop her she walks out with it. I look around the room. I've never been here so I don't recognize anything. It smells nice, feels.. homey. I hear a loud beeping downstairs that makes me jump but I quickly realize it's probably a microwave. Footsteps are in the room and she's back in, carrying a plate right to my lap.

"Thank you," I tried to smile, "really- I don't know where I'd be. Probably still out there-"

"You don't have to thank me," she shakes her head, "I will always be here."

I look at her for a few seconds, "you shouldn't be though."

"Well I am," I feel her hand on my arm.

"You shouldn't be," I shake my head some, "it's so dangerous. I feel horrible knowing that I'm bringing you into it. Horrible. This happened twice already, Ana. Twice. You've saved me twice. And you shouldn't have to ever save me. Do you know how embarrassing it is...?"

There's a pause for a minute and I feel like shit. I feel like she's gonna get upset, angry. "I don't care if it's dangerous," her voice is soft, easy, "I don't care about that. I care about you though. And I'm sorry if that sounds weird because we really haven't known each other that long but seriously, I care about you. I don't care how dangerous a situation is, if I can help you, I'm helping you. And saving you? Who cares.. why shouldn't I? I will always try if I think you need it. Yesterday, you needed it. You couldn't get up, Matt. And if you think I'm going to leave you there...? No. No way. I wasn't, I couldn't. And then you tell me that if your dad and brother saw me, they'd do it to me? Definitely not leaving you there. I was getting you out and bringing you with me. Because you weren't safe there. Here you're safe. With me, you're safe."

I stare at her for a few seconds wishing I could just grab her and kiss her. Wanting to wrap her up in my arms. I ate the food that she had on the plate. It was so good. I could eat so much more but I'm not asking for it. I've had enough.