Just the Beginning

28

MATT

I wake up to birds chirping outside. Saturday. My eyes open and I look around for Ana. She's nowhere to be seen. I sat up quickly, "Ana? Love?" I start to stand up and suddenly feel a sharp pain in my back. It's crippling and makes me stop breathing. Fuck. A pulled muscle. Are you kidding me? I straighten out, it's a sharp pain that runs through my tailbone. If I bend my head down I can feel it in my neck. I open the door and that's when the smell of eggs, bacon, toast and sausage hits me in the face. I hear her and Jada giggling downstairs. I can't help the smile as I walk down the hall, nearing them.

I get to the stairs and stop when I hear them talk.

"Soooo Chase?" Ana asks, "you really think so?"

"Ugh I don't know," Jada chuckles, "I don't know. Yes. I mean he's cute and like man he calmed me down so much when you were missing— he helped. He made me feel better. Like less shit. You know? And I mean yeah he's cute so that's a plus."

"You should talk to him."

"You're crazy," Jada laughs a bit louder, "no. Absolutely not. No."

"Then show him somehow."

"How? I text him all the time. I'm a love bomber, Ana. You know this. It pushes people away."

"Maybe it won't though," Ana suggests, "you won't ever know if you don't try."

"Not talking to him," she says.

I step down and the floor creaks. The girls go silent and I curse at myself. I finish walking down to make it seem like I wasn't just listening in. I round the corner and say nothing. Silence. I walk straight over to Ana who's looking so much better today. The swelling is gone and the bruises are starting to subside.

"Goodmorning love," I kissed the side of her head, "how are you?"

"I'm okay," she smiled, "I feel better today. You don't look like you feel good?"

"I'm okay," I nod, "my back just hurts some."

"I told you to sleep on the bed with me," she looked almost sad, "I don't want you to sleep on the floor."

"There just isn't much room and I don't want to take it from you," I shake my head. That's not really why. There's plenty of room but I've never really slept with someone. It almost makes me nervous. I don't know why. Probably just shit with my past. People. She'll think it's stupid though and might be upset by it.

"There's plenty of room," she says seriously, "I mean it."

"Okay!" Jada claps her hands, "who's hungry?" She smiles and looks at the two of us awkwardly.

"I.. will go get Chase," I point towards the stairs behind me, "be right back." I spin and run up the stairs and straight to Chase's room. I knocked twice before swinging the door open, "what's up man?"

"Bruh really?" He pulls the pillow over his ears, "it's so early-"

"Dude it's literally like ten," I laugh, "come on I need to talk to you anyways."

"About what?" He pulls the pillow away.

"Jada."

He sits up and looks at me, "what about her?"

"She likes you," I start to laugh, almost shocked, "dude she likes you. She's just waiting on you."

"Waiting for me? What's that even mean?"

"It means make a move. Dinner. A movie. Call her beautiful or something. Express your feelings. It worked for me and Ana."

"Oh did it?"

"We've leveled up to love."

"What?" He starts laughing, "you're serious? Dude, that's awesome."

"Okay but dude seriously. Just talk to her." I try to persuade. It's hard to figure him out.

"The real question is where are we finding that money, Matt? Have you figured that out yet?"

"Me. Where am I finding the money? This doesn't involve you man-"

"Yes it does. We're brothers. It involves me. By default," he tries to crack a joke. I'm not the least bit entertained. Appreciative, not entertained. "So my grandma-"

"No." I cut him off, "I'm not taking that money-"

"Listen," he talks with his hands a lot. I usually do too. Ana doesn't though. He continues, "I take it from her as a loan. She isn't going to set a pay back by date, Matt. That means I take the money for 'me', give it to you and then you give it to your boss. And then you can just make payments to me as you can, for whatever amount. And I'll take that and give it to my grandma. Simple dude. There's no need to argue with it. It's smart. It's fast. And it solves this shit show of a mess you got yourself into."

I stare at the ground. I feel horrible. Internally I feel like the biggest piece of shit. I feel mad at myself for getting myself mixed up in this. Maybe if I fought my dad harder I wouldn't have to be in it. I hate it. It's putting my friends at risk... the girl I love at risk.

He pulls out his phone but I stop him again, "not yet and not while I'm around. I don't want to listen to what you come up with. I'll just figure it out after."

He starts to laugh some, "alright come on dude. Chill. You've met the woman a thousand times. She'd do anything for you too. I'm just saying it's me because she'll be more likely to tell me not to worry about paying her back. She's rich. She's got hundreds of thousands. I promise you this is a small percentage of whatever she's got going on. Don't feel bad."