Just the Beginning

44

ANA

After Chase helped him into his truck all I have is a pit in my stomach. I don't want to leave him now that he's here, awake, alive with me. It's a miracle he's still here. But I have to see my mom. I need to. I haven't seen her since that day.

My mind darts back, remembering her body on the ground. The flames that roared all around me. The smell of burning wood and any other material it touched.

I shake the thoughts away as Jada pulls into the facility parking lot. 'Getting Better' shines brightly on the sign in the middle of the lot. She parks and I take a deep breath before getting out of the car.

"I'll be back," I look at her, "I can text you or-"

"I'll stay here," she smiles softly, "We'll go back and get your car after. Goodluck."

I thank her before walking in. I have to press a button, state who I'm there for and when the doors finally unlock I walk through them, they lock behind me. The loud buzzer makes me jump.

It smells like medications in here, like old people.

"Through the door, to the left and down the hall. Make another left at the end of that hall and she'll be in room 156," the woman behind the desk says frustrated, "take this, clip it to your shirt. Return it before you leave."

"Thank you," I cleared my throat. I take the visitor's pass and clip it to my jacket before following her directions.

There it is, her room. There's a nurse or a guard or someone standing outside her door. I guess this is to make sure she doesn't run while I'm here. I have to pause before I go inside. Is she expecting me? Does she look the same? Different? How will she react? Does she even want to see me?

I put my hand on the handle and swallow sharply before entering.

"Anastasia?" She asks shakily. She sounds the same. Looks the same.

The tears swell in my eyes, "mom?" The door shuts and I wrap my arms around her. I start to cry.

"Oh don't cry honey," she rubs my head, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for what I did-"

"It's okay," I snort from the snot buildup, "it's okay you're alive. How- how are you?"

"I-I-I'm doing better," she sits on her bed and pats her hand to have me sit next to her, "I'm back on my medicine. Um they've mentioned letting me out soon."

"Really?" I ask happily, "when?"

"Hopefully within the next month or so," she nods and holds my hand, "I'm so sorry Ana. I-I was so mentally fucked up then and what I put you through— it's unforgivable-"

"No it's not. I forgive you," I reassure her, "and I have missed you so much. I want you back so bad-"

"When I come back I'm going to get us a place- and we'll hangout like we used to and-and we can have a mother daughter day. How have you been? What's happened?"

Do I tell her? I feel like I should tell her. She probably doesn't even remember him though.

"Do you remember Matt?"

"Oh yes. That handsome boy you brought home," she smiled, "I do remember him."

"Well we're like- were sort of dating."

"WHAT!!" She squeals in excitement, "oh honey! I'm so happy for you-"

"He's good to me," I smile, "he just- his family life isn't very good and it's gotten us into some hard places-"

"There will always be those," she admits, "but if you love him, you make it work."

I know she'd be saying otherwise if she knew the full story. That's why I can't say anything about anything.