Forever And Always (Camren)

Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

Camila POV

Oh my god Lauren was checking me out! I tried not to squeal but she was definitely staring!

Wait… what if she was staring in disgust? What if she doesn’t like my body?

My happiness quickly faded and was replaced by self loathing. I got dressed, avoiding looking into the mirror and walked into the room. I noticed Lauren turned her light off and was sleeping.

I tried to fall asleep too but I couldn’t. I guess I just felt really insecure about my body sometimes.

Most people say really nice things to me but then there's always people who bash you and just that one person can make you hate yourself.

I thought I was over that part. Growing up I criticized every little thing about myself.

People told me my teeth looked horrible, I got them fixed. People told me I was fat, I stopped eating for a while. People told me i couldn't sing, I almost gave up on my dream. People told me to die, I actually considered it.

But then Harmonizers came along and reminded me every day that I was beautiful and my voice was unique and different, in a good way.

Some days were just harder than others.

Apparently I started to cry because Lauren got out of her bed and laid on my bed right beside me.

“Camz why are you crying?” She whispered as she pulled me into her arms.

I laid on her chest and cried softly. She rubbed my back and kept whispering “It’s okay” until I finally stopped crying.

“Camz you can talk to me. What made you cry?”

I looked at her. I don't know if I should talk about this. She'll think I'm doing it for attention.

Before I could stop myself I just said it. “I just… I don’t know I’m feeling a little insecure. I'm not pretty like the rest of you and I'm not in shape" I tried to stop the tears that were forming from falling but was unsuccessful. I began to cry again.

I looked up at Lauren and she looked genuinely shocked. I wonder why.

Lauren POV

I couldn’t respond for a second. Camz? Insecure? She has no reason to be insecure. She looks like a freaking goddess.

She's normally so happy it's hard seeing her any other way. She always cheers everyone up, I would have never guessed she was battling her inner demons.

“Camz why are you insecure? You’re so beautiful and perfect. Why can’t you see it?” I ask as I cup her face and wipe away the stray tears with the pad of my thumb.

“I never even had a boyfriend. No one likes me. Sometimes I don’t even like me” her eyes begin to get watery again.

“Camz people like you. People LOVE you. Trust me I know about a million people who would love to date you”

She smiles a little at that. “Our Harmonizers would much rather us date each other than me dating one of them”

My mouth suddenly goes dry and she quickly responds “Not that it will ever happen”

For some reason hearing her say that really hurts.

She wouldn't want to date me? I know I shouldn't care but I do. A lot.

“Why not?” I ask. I mentally curse myself for asking.

Her response was barely audible and what came out of her mouth next left me surprised and unable to complete a coherent sentence.

“Because you’re Lauren Jauregui. You would never go for me. I'm just Camila”

“I… wait… uhm…” I stutter. How the hell do I respond? She was beginning to get up and I had to stop her.

I pulled her back on the bed apparently too forcefully and she landed on top of me.

Our faces were inches apart. Then they were closer. I gulped. Closer. I could feel her breath on my face. It smells like peppermint.

Before I knew it I cupped her face and pressed my lips against her own. My stomach was on fire. I felt so much. Butterflies, sparks, fireworks. I was nervous that I made a mistake but Camila didn’t pull away so I took that as a sign to continue.

I deepened the kiss licking Camila’s lips asking for entrance. She parted her lips just enough for my tongue to go in her mouth. She let me take the lead with the kiss. Her hands wrapped around my neck as mines wrapped around her waist. I was losing my breath but I didn’t care. I bit down on her bottom lip causing her to moan slightly.

OH MY GOD I MADE HER MOAN.

It was music to my ears.

For something that is so wrong, it felt so right. But then I remembered something causing me to stop. I wasn't sure if I felt honored or horrible that I hadn't made the moment special.

I was her first kiss.