Forever And Always (Camren)

Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Lauren POV

"Lolo it's going to be okay" Normani holds me close as I sob into her shoulder.

How can Camz think that she means nothing to me? Don't I show her that she does?

Did she just break up with me?

My heart is absolutely broken. It feels like she ripped it out, threw it in a blender and fed it to the dogs. But I can't be upset with her. I caused this, it's my fault.

I always knew she was too good for me but I never thought she would leave me.

You know how people say you never know what you have until it's gone? That's the truest thing I've ever heard.

The girls try to comfort me as I cry into their arms.

"I love her. I love her.. but I lost her" I sob.

"Lo you didn't lose her yet. Go talk to her and apologize" Dinah replies softly.

"I can't the damn door is locked! Don't you think I would've done that already!" I scream but instantly feel bad.

"I'm sorry D.. I know you're just trying to help. I'm just.. scared is all. I shouldn't have yelled" I reply much softer this time.

"It's okay Lo" she rubs my back.

I can't do anything right. I should just give up. I can't make anyone happy. I just hurt everyone around me.

I began to cry again as the girls hold me and whisper it's okay in my ear.

The girls are so kind but right now the only arms I want around me is Camila's.

Honestly I feel pathetic to be crying like this but I just lost my world. One stupid mistake cost me everything.

I need her.

I'm half a heart without her.

I'm missing half of me.

I can't lose her.

Camz means everything to me. I'm so scared being with her because she means so much to me. I've never been in love with anyone like I am Camz and that scares the hell out of me.

I need to fight. I need to tell her how I feel. I need her to believe that I am in love with her. She can't give up on me. If she loves me she would try again right? Give me another chance?

"Ally.. you have to have a key to unlock the door don't you?" I practically beg.

"YES! WAIT HERE!" She runs up the steps to her bedroom. She returns seconds later, out of breath as she hands me a shiny object.

"Go get your girl" She smiles and I run to the room and unlock the door.

"Camz?" I whisper as I walk up to her.

I'm cautious because I don't want her to throw the lamp at my head or something. Well, I know that she wouldn't but I'm just scared. Mostly because I don't want to see the hurt in her eyes.

She appears to be sleeping. I kneel in front of her and move the hair out of her face. She is so beautiful. She looks peaceful sleeping. I don't want to wake her. I can't believe I hurt this angel... again.

It's obvious she was crying. The tear streaks are still there and I feel even worse than before.

I did this. I have to make it right.

I kiss her forehead softly and her eyes flicker open. She seems startled and then pain fills her eyes.

"Please let me talk?" I beg before she screams at me.

"I don't want to fight" she whispers. Her normally big brown eyes, full of life look black and dull.

"I don't either baby" she smiles at the name and that makes me smile. I still have a chance.

"So may I speak? Please?" I ask.

I look down at her full lips. I miss the feeling of them against my own. Her tongue dancing with my own. Her naked body beneath mine.

Snap out of it Lauren!

"Sure" she sits up and pats the mattress beside her indicating for me to take a seat. I sit and look at her.

I take a moment to think about what I'm going to say.

"I love you. More than I've ever loved anyone and anything. I'm in love with you Camz. I fuck up sometimes. But that doesn't change how I feel about you." I pause so I can control my emotions.

"I.. I get scared. I don't want to lose our fans or my family because I'm not sure how they'll react. But I promise we can come out. Whenever you want if it just means I get to have you back". I feel the tears threatening to fall out of my eyes as my voice cracks.

I continue as Camila glares at me with those once again full brown orbs. "When I'm with you, everything feels okay. I just... you're like a drug to me. Your love is a drug. I need it, I crave it. I love everything about you. The way you smile, your laugh, the way you stick your tongue out when you're concentrated, the way you dance even though you don't think you can, how unique and beautiful your voice is, the way you love me and the way you care about everyone especially your family, the way that you always know what to say to cheer me up, how quirky you are.. I love everything about you. Even the things you don't love about yourself."

"I don't know what I would do without you Camz.. you are a part of me. I wouldn't be who I am now without you. You are my home. You make me feel safe. You make me happy. I'm sorry that I take that for granted sometimes and I don't show you how much you mean to me."

"True love isn't easy. It's not normal. It's not ordinary. That's what makes it so special. It's hard. It's extraordinary. But you have to fight for it. I'll always fight for you. Please fight for me too" I finish.

I see a small smile form on her lips "Is this a delusion?" she teases.

I can't help but laugh "No. No this is real" I wipe the fallen tears from my eyes.

"Good. Then kiss me" She whispers.

"My pleasure" I cup her face and lean in slowly pressing my lips against hers.