INEFFABLE

Exhaustion

POV- The Catalyst.

I ran along the rocky, dry ground. I was becoming exhausted. I slumped down to the ground along with my layers of clothing. I took in deep breaths and began to ponder as I looked at the red sky. I began to worry if there was any happiness for me to destroy.

     I felt like I was torn in half.

     It felt exhausting to think that nobody knew about me. They would always forget. As long as they didn't have any identity to go by, they would forget.

     "I think we should get going," said my virus with a hiss.

     "Yeah I think we should too," I sighed.

I had a storm brewing inside. The day it came out would be a dangerous one. That day will come. I was sure of it. It would bring death and broken bones.

I slammed the ground with my fist out of anger. I needed to get out of here. This planet and the virus both knew it was my time to leave. We needed to find another world. In search of happiness to destroy. They needed to feel what I felt. Or rather, the killer needed to feel what I felt.

And what I felt... was more than broken bones.

It was more than burns and electrocution.

It was everything hitting me at once. I felt it all. Every ounce of pain had hit me that day. She shouldn't have been shot. She should have lived. I could've saved her but I didn't want the virus inside her. That pain was for me to deal with and not her. No she was not a lover. Rather a best friend. Nobody deserved the pain of the virus. I only had to deal with the pain.

While others felt a deep slumber, I felt much more than that. I wasn't asleep I was awake. I felt the pain constantly. Awake and asleep.

     I don't even know if I can get rid of the virus at this point in time. Its been with me for so long that its attached itself to me. It runs through my blood and veins. From my head to my toes.

     The virus and I began to fly. It went outside my body and formed two sets of small, black dragon wings. I began to fly out of the mirror world. The piece of shit world that raised me. I was raised alone. The glass storm wasn't outside me anymore.

     It was inside. And matter of fact it hurt worse.

     We floated throughout the galaxy. I saw the stars and gases that floated about. It was a wonderful sight. I blended in with the dark, vast area that was space.

I floated through an asteroid belt. I felt along the rocks. Smooth, rough, dry, and wet. Each had a different color, texture, and temperature.

    I began to fly faster through space. My virus grabbed onto anything it could get a handle of to keep my speed. My planet was close to the City of the Cosmos. That was where I will stay for the time being. To keep my powers in check. Or to possibly get help.

     However...

     This was the place my best friend was shot.

     Julius. I missed her. Quite a lot.

     If only I could find her killer.

I could see the city in the distance as I floated closer and closer to the lights. I could hear some music and different smells coming from the city already.

I started to get pulled into the city's limits. I flew down to the outskirts of the city to make sure I wasn't spotted. It was dark outside for the time being. I decided to blend in and find a place to stay.

     The storm inside kept scratching. It kept cutting and scratching at me. Space was cold for one though. I was glad I was in the safety of the city. I landed gracefully on a street nobody was on. I walked around and decided to settle in this one house. It had a "For Sale!" sign on it and nobody was home. So, I decided to stay there.

     The house was purple and had black trim. The lights were out too.

     I opened the door and walked inside quietly. I grabbed a small hammock kit from my satchel and set it up between nails on the walls. I hopped in and pulled out a book. I got it from Goldenheart when the war days were still going on.

     "We made it," whispered the virus in exhaustion.

     "I don't know how but we sure did," I sighed in exhaustion too.

     The power I had. Or powers per say, were taking my life I had day by day. I would blow my brains out before it took my mind. I had a straight and wise mind that couldn't let itself get infected. I would be a complete villain for that to happen.

      There was complete silence in the house. Especially upstairs. I just laid there and pondered. I pondered who Julius' killer was. I pondered why life wasn't fair for me. Why did I have to suffer through such pains?

     I don't think I'd ever know.

     I pulled back my layers of clothing and looked at my arms. All covered in scratches and a world of hurt. No matter how much the storm wanted to, it would never break outside of me. It knew I was its only savior. I could be a hero or a villain. Or maybe a bit of both. I was split on the choice.

     Life was full of choices.

    Being alive for over 500 years taught you that. I was a catalyst. Catalysts are smart. At least I was. I don't think there were other versions of me. Maybe there was... Maybe there wasn't.

     I began to blend in more with the darkness of the house. I put the book back into my satchel without even reading it. Today was long. I always had tomorrow. I could always try looking for happiness without destroying it too.

     I knew that wouldn't happen.

     I was a catalyst. Born in misery and agony.

     Happiness didn't exist in my world. No matter how hard I tried. My life was full of problems. The main goal was to get rid of happiness to try and have people feel a sliver of what I felt. The misery, agony, and pain.

     Many would never realize the pain I dealt with.

     All I feel is problems problems problems.

     Inside however...

     I felt...

     Exhausted.

     Exhaustion...

     Tiredness.

     Tired tired tired.

     Helpless helpless helpless.

     Exhausted exhausted exhausted.