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Luv🤍🐝: Happy birthday love, I miss you so much. I hope you have a good day, I wish I could celebrate with you. Call me when you get the chance. I love you beautiful 💞💐 Delivered
Beyoncé texted me this morning, I couldn't bring myself to answer.
"She's insane." Ari mumbles, rolling her eyes and placing my phone on the bed. I kept my head rested on her shoulder and she rubbed my stomach. This was very unsettling. I wanted to celebrate my birthday differently, partying it up with my friends, being in a healthy place and environment. I wanted to get fucked up to the point where I'd need pictures to remember what the hell happened that night.
I can't do that anymore.
Not for nine months and however long after that.
"I really wish she didn't do all of those things to me because I kinda need her right now." I just want her to hug me and to listen to her voice. I want her to tell me herself that everything will be okay and that I'm doing the right thing.
"You don't Onika, that's your fucking problem," Ari grabbed my face and wiped my tears away with her other hand. "You became dependent on her. She's like a drug for you that you're heavily addicted to. You made us sit in front of her house for almost an hour the other day because you wanted to be close to her without seeing her. You have so many people in your corner but you want the one who manipulated you and hurt you the most to be around you?"
"I still love her Ari! Fuck everything I said to her that day. She made me feel things I hadn't felt in so long, so forgive me for simply wishing I was celebrating my birthday with her." I felt my heart pounding in my chest. She was making me so mad. I needed to calm down because stress is bad for the baby and my body in general.
Taking deep breaths I regulate my breathing and simply covered myself with my blanket. I took my phone and opened my messages, clicking on Beyoncé and I's thread.
: meet me?
I sent her the address of an empty parking lot I know and just waited a bit before I heard the door close. I quickly but quietly got out of bed and threw on an all black sweat suit. I threw my hair up into a ponytail before grabbing my bag and phone.
Luv🤍🐝: see u then
As I began to leave I could hear Ariana talking to my mom. I stopped to listen.
"I'm not getting through to her at all. She keeps crying and saying that she hates Bey then the next minute she still loves her. I'm starting to believe she doesn't understand exactly what love is and why she shouldn't be with Beyoncé. They both need to learn." She said. I frowned, closing my eyes before shaking the feeling away and continuing out the door. I just need closure.
