Ain't it fun (Paramore/ Tayley fan fic)

I don't want to start over again

An; hi guys. I don't mean to sound whiny but my views have gone down a bit anc I was just wondering whether the stories getting boring and If so please let me know. Thanks for all the reads comments and views.sorry for the late update but I was waiting outside for a concert since nine am on Sunday. It Was worth it though because we got right the front. Hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think in the comments
Song title from whoa from paramores first album all we know is falling
Maia_fvk xx
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Taylor's pov
Never had I felt more depressed until he walked straight back into our life's. I felt awful. Now times that by one thousand and you still won't be close to how much worse I feel now him and Hayley are back together. Out of all the things I had expected to happen as a result of Ashley coming back, I never expected this. I thought she would run in the other direction when he came back, but instead she ran into his arms. Into his carefully laid trap.

Why did I even bother in the first place? What was the point of me pratically been beaten to death if she was just going to welcome him back like nothing ever happened? Because that was exactly what she had done. It was just over ago two weeks since she revealed her shock announcement but he was already round here all the time, like he lived here. They never went out, just stayed here, it's as though he wanted to brag about it, the fact that she was his and that I was left in the sidelines. Stuck in the friend zone again and again.

I may not be the perfect boyfriend and I'm not saying that I wouldn't ever get mad and hurt Hayley with my angry words. But I would never raise a hand to her, never stain her beautiful pearly white skin with the purple ink of my fist against her cheek. I felt bad enough when I snapped at her, so imagine how I would feel if i hit her. The shame would be enough to make me want to kill myself. How someone could intentionally hurt a girl as beautiful and sweet as Hayley over and over again, without showing the slightest bit of remorse baffled me.

What baffled me more was why she just forgave him. Just days ago, she was consumed by terror for this being and now she 'loves' him. Something just didn't make sense. But I couldn't figure out what. Perhaps it was just jealousy

I stared up at the ceiling above me bed. There was no use in trying to sleep, all my nights had been sleepless lately. Hayley always noticed before but now she barely even looks at me, like she can't stand it. It should be him she can't bare to look at but somehow it's me who's come out the monster.

I glanced at the alarm by my bed and read the time . 2;42 am. They would be back any minute. Every Sunday night they went out and they would arrive back around the same time each time. Tonight, Jeremy had gone with them. I had been offered but as you expected i declined. Jeremy didn't like Ashley but he was trying to get along with him for Hayley. I don't give a shit about whether Hayley wants us to get along, it ain't gonna happen.

Sure enough, I soon heard the sound of a key fumbling in a lock and before long the whole bus was filled with the drunken giggles of Hayley, Jeremy and Ashley. Feet sloppily stomped about as Jeremy bid the lovers goodnight before slumping to his room and most likely passing out on the bed without even taking of his boots.

Hayley and Ashley spent about fifteen minutes in the living area, laughing raucously about nothing. It's funny that when they are laughing I'm holding back the tears and doing a lousy job as a few rogues strayed down my cheeks. Why did everyone else seem so happy? Hayley and Ashley, Jeremy and Kat? When was it my turn? I must have done something really bad in my previous life.

Eventually they walked to the room next to mine. It wasn't long before the laughter changed. At first, it was only hushed angry whispers but seconds later it erupted until they were full on shouting at each other. I knew thing would never change. Although they were being really loud the sound was muffled through the wall and I couldn't make out all the words. But I could hear the slap and then the sound of Ashley storming off

Hayley's pov
  I stood in shock, staring at the door his figure had just exited as one hand covered my stinging cheek. I don't know why I was so surprised, it was bound to happen sooner or later but it still caught me by surprise. It seemed like only seconds earlier we had been laughing. Things always seemed to turn ugly every time

Something about me angered him but I didn't know what. The words that flowed out of my words in our arguments were cruel but did they deserve the hits? I never really knew but you can't help but blame yourself. I could tell it was going to start all over again. Tomorrow he will be at the door with a bouquet of flowers and he will promise it will never happen again. But it will until it comes to the point it happens every night. The depression was already creeping back in

I sat in the corner and hugged my knees into my chest, resting my chin on them dejectedly, trying to make myself as small as possible, so small I could just disappear. Vanish in a puff of air.

Why am I doing this? I cried to myself internally. Why am I putting myself through this again? But I already knew the answer. And no matter how much it hurt I wouldn't change my descion for the world, moon or the stars.

I was doing this for Taylor. Ashley would never leave taylor alone until he got what he wanted and that was me. I couldn't put Taylor through that. But despite the fact I was protecting him, he now acted either like he hated me or that he was wounded. I couldn't bare to look at him anymore as when I did I just felt guilt.

He had always protected me

Now it was my turn to protect him