Ain't it fun (Paramore/ Tayley fan fic)

Let the flames begin (part four)

An; in a way to apologise for my lack of updates I decided to update for the second time In two days. Hope you enjoy. The four part is over now and I'm not even gonna lie and say I wasn't crying when I wrote this because I was. Just please don't hate me when you read the end of this and sorry if this fic is really far fetched. Thanks for all the reads votes and comments so far, it means a lot. Hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think in the comments
Maia_fvk xx

Hayley's pov
   He leaned in but I did nothing to stop him. Instead, I closed my eyes and waited. It seemed like an eternity until his soft lips were on mine but it was probably only a matter of seconds. I knotted my hands in his hair as he pulled me close but it never seemed close enough. It was hard to think that we hadn't been this close in months because all that mattered was here and now. Our kiss was desperate, full of hunger and passion after months of nothing. But after a few seconds, I realised how wrong this was. And I pulled away.

" Taylor, we can't do this- I can't do this" I whispered, looking through my lashes into his big brown eyes. We may have pulled apart from the kiss but we were still close, so close I could feel the heat from his body. No matter how much I had wanted to carry on with the kiss, it wasn't fair on him. As much as I hated Rosa, she made Taylor happy. Plus, I didn't want to give him false hope for us because as much as I wanted it, I could never escape Ashley, not now.

" why not?" He demanded, looking just as mad as he did before. We couldn't even go five minutes without arguing lately. Either that or not talking, I couldn't decide which was worse. I considered telling him the truth, how I was only with Ashley to protect him, like he had protected me for years. But he wouldn't believe me or he would try to convince me he could take the hits. But he didn't deserve this, I was the one who started all this by being naive years ago. It was my fault for going out with him in the first place, for convincing myself that the first ever time he hit me would be the last. I should have just ran then, perhaps that would have saved all this grief. But it was too late now and there was no point in dwelling on the what-ifs.

" you have Rosa and I have Ashley" I reasoned, hoping he would just drop it. But Taylor had always been stubborn

"So you're saying you felt nothing when I kissed you? You're saying you don't still feel the nervous butterflies in your stomach when you see me? You're saying you don't feel jealous when you see me and Rosa? Because I feel all those things, especially when I see you with Ashley" he blurted. The answer to every single question was yes, of course I still loved him. I wanted nothing more than to tell him and for him to pull me into his arms where I could just cry. Cry for us and cry for Ashley.

" No. I don't feel any of those things anymore." I lied. We could never be together and he needed to get over me. but this was the only way to do it; to make him hate me

" was it all just a lie? For years I was there for you and this is how you repay me? I'm glad I'm with Rosa because she is ten times better than you" he screamed before turning on his heel and making his way back to the others. I walked the other way, into the bathrooms and began to cry.

A few minutes later the door opened and someone pulled me into a hug. It wasn't Taylor, I could tell his smell anywhere plus this was the girls bathroom. I looked up to see Kat. She got a wet wipe out of her purse and started to wordlessly  clean up my smudged eye makeup. I wanted to explain to her, I couldn't keep this bottled up inside me for ever, but I couldn't trust the lump in my throat.

" I know you still love Taylor but I understand why your doing this. I want you to know I support you with whatever choice you make" she told me and I just nodded thankfully. Kat was amazing at understanding and it shouldn't have surprised me that she guessed.

" thank you" I told her with a smile

"You don't have to do this you know Hayley" she told me but I just shook my head.

" you would do the same for Jeremy, wouldn't you?" I questioned as we walked back to the table.

The rest of the meal was quiet, or at least for me and Taylor, who barely said a word or looked up from our food. I barely ate mine, pushing the noodles around on my plate until it was a big mess and I declared I was finished. It was when we were waiting for our deserts that things began to change and I made the worse descion of my life, out of spite and jealousy.

Taylor grew angry and decided that instead of staring at his meal hating the world, he would dangle his perfect relationship in front of my face in a futile attempt to get me jealous. I was already jealous.

" I'm so lucky to have a caring relationship with someone I love.i just hate relationships that are a joke, where you let the other person walk all over you" he bragged, pulling Rosa close. She didn't seem to mind that she was just being used to prove a point, she seemed to like the attention. That was a low blow and he knew it. He knew how much those words would hurt me, they were so painful they brought tears to my eyes. I just blinked and looked away.

" and to prove this, I have decided I want to take our relationship to the next level. So here is the keys to my Appartment. No, our apartment" Taylor grinned, handing Rosa the keys. Jealousy flowed through my veins. I'll show him. I grabbed Ashley's face and Pulled him in for a kiss, right in front of Taylor. Ashley didn't protest and once we were done I smirked over at Taylor, who was watching with a horrified expression.

" Rosa, I want you to meet my family, I want show off my beautiful new girl to my parents" he reacted and of course she nodded.

" aww that's sweet. I remember the first time Ashley met my parents" I cooed, putting on the fake sympathy, showing them how much further me and Ashley had progressed in our relationship.

" I bet that was interesting dinner conversation. Let me guess, Ashley told them all about his criminal record and all fourteen times he's been in jail" Taylor taunted. By this point, we had everybody on the tables attention.

" well, it went better than the first time you met them" I countered, smiling through gritted teeth.

" I hate you, you know?" He hissed.

" well if you hate me so much I guess I should just Marry Ashley" I screamed, forgetting Ashley was there and listening to every word

And that was how I ended up getting engaged to a man I hated