Save me - an Ashley Olsen story

Forgiveness and New Beginnings

POV JJ

I had just landed and gotten a taxi home. Ash was at work but would be home in a few hours so that gave me time to prepare myself. After the taxi ride I go inside the house and bring my bag upstairs to sort out then take a shower and get into comfy clothes. That all in all only takes an hour so now I'm sitting in the library with my journal. Dr. Wells also suggested I start writing one so, I bought one but haven't written anything in it yet until now. I plan on eventually letting Ash read them making it easier to tell her everything once I'm in the right place. I right my feelings down to and explain detailly everything like how I would in a report. I write it like a profiler but them when I start on how I'm feeling I try to write it from just me, Jennifer but that's hard when you don't want to feel those things. After a bit of writing, I slide my journal on one of the higher shelves so she and most of the family can't get it. I know that's mean since they are all short, but you do what you have to. I'm just taking advantage of their shortness. I then head to the kitchen and start on making dinner, maybe if I butter her up, she won't be as mad? But who am I kidding she will react and I'm guessing not in a good way. I sigh and start putting together the casserole then pop it into the oven, so it'll be done by the time she's home and put together. 

As I'm waiting, I sit down at the counter and pull out my phone and start looking for flights on Friday, which is in a few days, and then returning flights for Monday. I see a few and send them to my mom, which sounds and feels weird to say and do, then set my phone down and place my head on the table. I must have drifted off because I get startled when someone touches my back making me shoot up and reach for my gun, which is not there. "Woah, hey, it's me Jay." Ash says raising her hands slightly making me slump and place my hands in my head groaning, "Sorry" I sigh out. She places her hand gently back onto my back and rubs it slightly leaning into me. "It's ok. Are you ok babe?" She asks worriedly kissing my head. "Ya... ya I'm fine. Just tired I guess" I say, and she hums. "What are you making?" She asks changing the subject. "Uh, taco casserole. I just used what we had and what was going to go bad" I say, and she nods. "That's good. I rarely look in the fridge when your gone" she says making me laugh a bit. "I know, you need to learn how to cook woman" I tease making her nudge at me. "Hey! I'm learning... ish. I watch you cook" she says trying to sound convincing making me laugh. I turn around and grab her hips pulling her in between my legs and smile up at her. She wraps her arms around my neck and smiles back. "I guess that means I'm stuck with you then. I can't have you go back to your old, sad... terrible habits." I say smirking making her huff and bury her head in my neck. "They were bad, weren't they?" She groans making me laugh. "Yes, and don't get me started on the kitchen" I say making her groan more which caused me to laugh harder. When I calm down, she come out from my neck and smiles at me rubbing her thumbs over my cheeks. "Doing better?" She asks making me smile lovingly at her. "Always with you" I say, and we both lean in for a slow loving kiss. I pull back resting my forehead onto hers and take a breath. "You should get changed dinner will be ready soon." I say making her nod and stand up straight. I tap her butt softly as she goes to walk away making me laugh at me then head upstairs. 

I pulled the food out of the Oven just as Ashley came into the kitchen and set it on the stove to cool. "Mmm, it smells so good" she says coming up to the side of me and giving me a half hug resting her head on my shoulder. I smile and kiss her head and slip off the oven mitts. "Do you want wine with this?" I ask and she hums and pushes off me. "Ya, I'll get it" she says, and I nod grabbing plates and forks. I set the table and then Ash comes over with 2 wine glasses and a bottle setting them down. "Here" I say handing her the corkscrew I grabbed making her smile. "I really need to keep you around." She jokes laughing making me huff out a laugh and shake my head heading back into the kitchen. I bring over the casserole and place it to the side then grab a big spoon placing it next to the dish. Ash just opened the wine and poured both of us a glass setting the bottle to the side. I come up behind her and pull out her chair making her smile and kiss my cheek before sitting. I then take my seat at the head to the right of her and smile at her. After serving both of us we start to eat and talk about our days. I listen to Ash as she explains their summer fashion line and what they are doing for the runway show. When we finish, we just talk and finish our glass of wine then clean up the table and dishes together. After all that we both get another glass of wine and bring it to the living room and settle on the couch cuddled up under a thin blanket. "So, how was your case?" She asks turning towards me more so her knees on in my lap. I place a hand on her knees then sigh, this is the moment. "The case went fine. We had some bumps but overall, we had more than what we usually get so that was nice." I say, "Hmm, we saw you on TV" she says making me huff. "Ya, I haven't had to be a liaison for a bit, it was odd but just like riding a bike." I shrug making her smile and rub my hand. "Uh, there is something else though..." I say trailing off a bit making her sit up straighter and look at me softly urging me to continue. "My mom..." I start but she cuts me off. "What did she do?" She asks anger on her face making me sit up a bit and turn towards her. "Hey, Ash it's nothing like that just... just let me explain, ok?" I ask trying to calm her a bit. She nods taking a breath and grabbing onto my hand. "Ok, um well. I wasn't in Virgina the whole time. The last 2 days I was in Pennsylvania... to visit her" I say gauging her reaction. She looks a bit confused, so I keep going. "Dr. Wells had suggested I go and see her. We talked a bit about Ros and that led to my mother... I, I went to tell her I was done and that I was done blaming myself." I say and Ash scoots a bit closer to me. "Why didn't you tell me? I could have come with you" she says sounding a bit sad and maybe hurt. "I needed to do it myself and it wasn't something I really had planned." I say and she nods in understanding rubbing my hand for comfort. "How did she take it" she asks softly. "She listened to me, didn't interrupt me." I say making her nod. "Did it make you feel better?" She asks. "Ya, we talked afterward then went to Roslyn's grave." I say and she smiles and kisses my head lightly. "What happened afterwards?" She asks. "Well... we talked, and she apologized. She told me she listened to all my voicemails and texts when I still left them. She followed my cases when I was liaison and... I don't know" I say sighing at the end. "Hey, hey no, it's ok. I'm happy for you I'm just worried" she says rubbing my hand. "I know. Emily told me the same thing. You just don't want me to get hurt." I say and she nods her head. "I do, that's my job" she says jokingly. "She wants to visit" I blurt out looking away from her. "Ok... um, that's fine. When?" She asks slowly. I close my eyes and take a breath, "Friday" I whisper not facing her. I hear her make a noise and pull her hand from on top of mine. I bite my lip and start to play with my hands not knowing what to do. "Ash..." I say glancing at her nervously. "Sorry, uh it's just a lot to take in" she says rubbing her forehead. "Ya, ya I know. I'm sorry" I say and sigh. "No, don't apologize. It's ok, we're ok" she says grabbing my hands and tugging me towards her. I look at her and she smiles softly. "Well, what can I do?" She asks. "I already sent her some flights she hasn't gotten back to me yet" I say, and she nods. "Well, she can stay here if she wants. We have more than enough room and..." She says starting to ramble. "Thank you" I say cutting her off making her smile and nod. "I want to get to know her, not just what I've heard." She says and I smile pulling her in for a kiss. "I'm going to have to tell Liz, she's not going to be happy" I say and Ash hums but kisses me again. "I'll make sure she's in line" she says making me smile.