Save me - an Ashley Olsen story

Proud

POV JJ

"So, it's been a while since I saw you last. How was your vacation?" Dr. Wells asks me. "Good. Really good I think it put some doubts and thoughts in my mind" I say truthfully. "Oh? Care to elaborate?" She asks crossing her leg over the other. "Well, we have been back now for about a week, and I think we are still in our blissful state. I fear it might change, and I don't want it to" I say, and she hums. "I can understand that. You both got closer, reached a new level in your relationship. Maybe even a new sense of trust, and that's scary." She says and I nod. "I want to tell her everything. I want to be able to share what I'm feeling and about the cases with her, but I also want to protect her from all of the ugly I see." I say and she nods her head. "You don't have to share details, Jennifer. You just have to tell her what you are feeling, and she can help you with that." She says and I nod. "That's hard sometimes especially when they don't know what it's like. What I saw. I talk to Emily about it, and we work through it together, but I don't know how to bring Ashley into that world." I say and she nods setting her notebook down. "How about you start with telling her what you are feeling. An emotion that she can work with. Then after you identified that let whatever it is that follows come out. Be open and honest with her. Like I said you don't have to go into the details of everything but give her a general idea." She says and I nod. "Ok, before I let you go, I want you to tell her how you are feeling at least twice this week. Be completely honest about your day and how you are feeling. Then write in your journal how that felt the next day, ok?" She asks and I nod again. "I want to start off small then next week depending on how it went we will try maybe 4 times and then every day that week, sounds goof?" She asks and I nod my head standing up with her. "Ok. You are doing good Jennifer." She says smiling at me making me smile back then walk out. I think I can do this, it's only 2 days of fully openness. It can be like a test. I can observe how she takes it and what happens afterwards. I think but then scold myself. Don't profile her Jen. I think and hop into my car with a huff. I trust her but why can't I trust her with this side of me? She has seen me weak, but this is different. I'm afraid she won't want me if she sees all the ugly, I hide. 

I walk into the BAU and set my stuff on my desk then shut my door. Hotch still kept my office from when I was liaison and I occasionally like to hide away in here. I have a new stack of cases to go through and paperwork to fill out and distribute to the others. I sit down and get to work needing to occupy my mind with something else. Maybe about two hours into my work my phone goes off, so I answer it without looking. "SSA Jennifer Jareau" I say bluntly as I comb through a file. "Jay?" I hear a familiar voice say making me stop. "Ash? hey, sorry. What's up?" I ask now focusing on the call. "Hey, I just wanted to make sure you were still coming." She says and I furrow my brows in confusion until it clicked, and my eyes widen as I check my clock. Shit. "Jay?" I hear and I snap back to reality. "Yes, ya sorry. Yes, I will be there I may be a bit late though, love" I say, and I hear movement on her end. "Ya, ok that's fine. The show will be only maybe 30 minutes, which you don't have to go to, but you'll be at the after party right?" She asks. "No, no I'll be there I just have this last file to get through and I'm on my way. I wouldn't miss this for the world babe, I'm so proud of you and MK." I say smiling slightly. "Ok, thank you. I love you but I have to go MK is freaking out a bit" she says making me nod even though she couldn't see me. "Ok, I love you and I will see you soon" I say and after another goodbye she hangs up and I set my phone down and groan. The fashion show is today... in like, an hour. It totally slipped my mind. I have so much work still. I sigh and pack my things to take home, I'm just happy I got the paperwork out of the way otherwise I couldn't leave. Once ready I shut my door and head to Hotch's office. "Hey, Hotch?" I ask knocking slightly making him look up. "What's up JJ?" He asks. "I have to head out, Ash has her show tonight. I got all the paperwork done and I'll finish files tomorrow if I can't get to them tonight" I say, and he nods shoeing me off. "Go, go. Tell her congrats for me" he says smiling. I nod and head out saying goodbye to everyone on the way.