Saviors ; 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘥

123. ꕥ The Power Of Hope

The countdown has begun. There were ten days until Praimfaya was to come with a wave of radiation, destroying everything in its path. Only ten days stood between myself and death — ten days stood between my baby's death. And despite my dubious acceptance of our demise, I dreaded the day when Praimfaya would roll over Arkadia, killing everyone it came into contact with.

It was hard to believe that I had made it this far, only to die the same way I was meant to when we first touched the ground. When Jaha sent the hundred to the ground all those months ago, his hope wasn't that the earth was survivable; he and the council were looking to rid of anyone unnecessary who was sucking up their oxygen. I wasn't even supposed to be alive in the first place to be with the hundred. When I was born, I should've been set for death then, not living to see my first birthday, but by some miracle, I did and lived all the way through eighteen birthdays with most by the side of John.

My death had been coming for a long time, whether I had realized it or not — I was set for death the moment I was born, right after my brother. Up to this point, it was just pure luck that I even survived everything I had. The Grounder war, Mount Weather, ALIE, all of that should've killed me, yet it didn't, and I had chalked it up to luck because there was no valid or viable reason otherwise. I wasn't a fighter, sure I could handle myself — I had Lincoln to thank for that — but I wasn't a warrior. I wasn't a doctor either, needing to be kept alive for my expertise, and I certainly wasn't an engineer or tech genius in any way. The time I had spent with Raven was me doing the bare minimum to help because I didn't know any better.

Luck was the only answer I could come up with regarding how I had made it this far in life, but it was diminishing as the days passed and my death inched closer. There may have been other factors on top of that — it certainly wasn't only me who kept myself alive — but in the grand scheme of things, it was luck.

And it was my luck striking again when I had miraculously survived the black rain yesterday, unlike eighteen of our people. I stared at the bodies wrapped in cloth, being moved to sit on top of the wooden stage above a fireplace that would soon be lit, sending these people off wherever they believed they'd go. My right arm was linked with Harper's, with Monty standing next to her as I wondered why it wasn't me who joined them — why luck wasn't on all these people's side. It made me sick to think about how all these people died when I was just as likely to as them, although that sickness could also be the baby, seeing as cramps were remarkably noticeable and tiresome today.

My left arm, which still had to be in a sling, adjusted slightly, my body already growing tired of the confined movements it had resting in a sling as Jaha talked, leading the ceremony. Craning my neck, my head turned back to Bellamy, who stood behind everyone, off by himself. He had been doing better after seeing the baby, but he was still broken from what had occurred, and I'd done everything I could think of to make him feel better, so there was nothing left for me to do.

It wasn't black rain, just regular rain that soaked into my clothes as I stood there listening to Jaha as he walked, holding a torch to the sky. "I know it took courage to be outside with us today, to stand together now in the face of grave danger and grave tragedy. On the Ark, rain like this was only a dream. Now it's a nightmare, because we know it could turn at any second and kill us, just like it did eighteen of our brothers and sisters, who we honor today among them, Erin, Samuel, and Louis." At the mention of Louis, beside me, Harper let out a wavering breath that I answered by squeezing her arm tighter. "May we meet again."

The crowd rehearsed the words before Jaha took the torch in his hand and reached forward, setting the wooden stage on fire, igniting the flames, beginning to burn the bodies. My eyes tore away from the growing fire when I heard a commotion behind me. Turning my head, I saw Jasper walking past Bellamy, his lips moving, and I could hear his voice, but the words were indistinguishable to me. Having felt my eyes on him, Bellamy glanced my way and sent a look I knew meant he was going after Jasper. I nodded, and with that from me, Bellamy took off in the direction Jasper, who I knew would get in some kind of trouble, went in.