Saviors ; 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘥

030. ꕥ Mistakes

"I'm sorry, YOU WHAT!?" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

My brother sighed in frustration and looked around camp before dragging me off to a more secluded part. When we stopped, I stayed frozen, staring blankly at my brother — I was standing in shock, utter and complete shock.

"Look, I had to. He tried to kill me." John tried to reason. "But I'm telling you because you understand, right?"

My jaw slightly dropped at John's words. Understand?

I still stood frozen in place, and when I didn't say anything, John grabbed my shoulders and shook me. "Jo?"

I shook my head, trying to get out of my daze. I finally looked up to meet my brother's eyes. The worst part about this wasn't the fact that he killed someone. When I looked into John's eyes, I didn't see one ounce of remorse in them.

Staring at John and him staring right back at me, I finally found the courage to speak with a much quieter tone. "I'm sorry, you killed someone?"

"Jo, I had to." He repeated, now looking at me with soft eyes. "What if he was going to hurt you next?"

I tilted my head down. "That doesn't matter."

It was no secret that I never liked Connor. Like John said, Connor tried to kill him. Does that give John a justified reason for killing him?

"I—" I started trying to say something, but the words got caught in my throat.

"Jo, please say something." I could feel John's eyes boring into me.

"What else do you want me to say? That I agree with what you did?" I whisper-shouted at him; my voice filled with disbelief. "Maybe I do agree with it. I maybe even wanted to kill him myself, but I didn't. And if I did do it, I would still feel guilty about it."

I started to walk away from John. "Jo!" He called out, and I stopped and turned around to look back at him.

"You're still my brother, and I will always love you, but I..." I took a deep breath in and out. "I need some time."

❣︎

That was two days ago.

I hadn't spoken to my brother since. I've been avoiding him at all costs. Anytime I see him
I turned the complete opposite way.

I hadn't spoken to many people in the past two days. I've just been trying to busy myself with things that need to get done. It's also been helping me take my mind off of things.

As of right now, I am working with Octavia on the meat furnace. Even with the task, my mind still drifted.

I haven't found the strength to face anyone, especially Bellamy. How was I supposed to face him when I knew what John did? I practically begged him to let him stay, and he did. He and Clarke essentially pardoned John the same night he killed Connor.

Obviously, I hadn't told anyone about it, either. I still want John to stay safe, and the best place to do that is in this camp. So I've been keeping quiet about it, and it has been eating me alive.

Everyone brushed off Connors's death; they thought that the virus was what killed him. They were wrong. I know the hard and cold truth.