i don't mind :: c.h

21: Hope

Calum Hood

She slipped away. She walked away from me. Ally never let me explain. I'm so dumb for just standing there and not being able to cut her off.

She knew about me and Fiona. I didn't expect that she was affected of what happened between us. Ally was hurt. I hurted her.

I felt a tear dropped in my eyes. I felt the need to run after her. But, I think she just might burst her anger and I'll never see her again. I got the keys from my pocket and started to the parking lot. I hopped into my car and started to rush away. I gripped my hands on the steering wheel, still thinking about Ally. Her wrist. I didn't know that she harmed herself. "Bullshit!" I blurted out of the car. I was going to Michael's house, I know that he would understand my situation. He's my best friend.

As I parked my car outside, I heard a loud crash inside Michael's house. I ran over to see what's going on. Then, I saw Michael, undoing his backpack from our last concert here in L.A. He wasn't shocked of my attitude of just going inside their house. "Aye, mate. Girl problems again?" he started. I followed him to his room. "You're just unpacking now? You're such a shit at things like that." I said, jokingly. Michael glared. "Don't change the topic, dude. I know what happened to you." I let out a loud sigh. "You really are my best friend. So," I started, sitting at the edge of his bed. "I just talked to Fiona again-" Michael stopped from what he was doing and looked at me with disbelief. "Did you just say Fiona? Dude, you know what? Just get over her. She lives her life know and then you'll just end up to her, cry and make the best out of it?" he said. "No, mate. We ended up things well last night, she said that she loves me, but not like the ones we had before." I muttered. "Yeah, I still love her. But, she made me realize things and made me think about that one girl who showed nothing but love for me." I paused, smiling at the irony I made. "And it's Ally."

Michael patted me in the back, smiling too. "Wow. You're a grown man!" he said while laughing at me. "So, what happened to you and Ally?" Michael said, sitting next to me. "We had a fight a while ago, and she knew about me and Fiona. She didn't let me explain." I let out a loud groan after. Michael stood up in front of me, being like my mom, again actually. "Did you see her wrist? She did that for you. I even walked up to her at 3:00 in the fucking morning because of this." he handed me a letter with Ally's handwriting in it. The letter was half-torned, but I can still read the contents in it. It says:

Mikey,

I went home. Sorry for bothering you in the show. It just felt, I was nothing about him. You may not like what I would do with myself. Please don't tell anyone. Love you, Mikey. x

- Ally x

"S-she said this and you didn't even tell me?" My voice was getting a bit higher. My anger filling up my veins. "Mate, you were busy looking for Fiona at the concert and then you didn't even find a way to talk to her for a week because of your goddamn ex-girlfriend!" he shouted at me. "Don't blame me for what happened to you, Cal! You made this fucking mess, then clean it by yourself!" he walked to his study table, leaning. "All I do is to clean you up when you have this shit problems and then you'll just go away and go back whenever you suffer again. I never get to have a girlfriend because of you! All I was for you is a fucking best friend who you only need when you're being dragged down." he paused for a bit. I could see him crying in the mirror. "I'm sorry Mike I didn't mean to-" he cut me off. "You know what, just leave." I looked at him with shock in my face. "But, Mike-" he looked at mez pointing at the door. "JUST LEAVE, CALUM! LEAVE BEFORE I FUCKING DRAG YOUR ASS OUT OF MY HOUSE! DON'T EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN! YOU MADE THIS MESS THEN CLEAN IT UP YOURSELF!"

And with that, I was crying as hell as I walked my way out of Michael's house.

Suddenly, I felt a droplet of water in my hand. It was raining.

I fell on my knees. All I knew that I was crying. Again.

"What the fuck is my problem? God, this is bullshit! First, I let Ally slip away from me, and then my best friend. Who do you want to be next? My band? My family?" I shouted.

This has to be done.

I need to patch things up.

I need to stand up by my own.

I've been longing for hope.

I ruined my life,

I need to clean it, myself.