i don't mind :: c.h

22: New

Calum Hood

This whole new thing is a big stuck up for me. I never expected this to happen. I lost two of the most important persons in my world. My best friend, and my one and only love.

I went to the church. I don't know why. But my feet led me here. I kneeled down and closed my eyes to feel the presence of the Man Above.

"Wow. It has been a harsh week for me." I said to myself, still eyes closed and praying. "This journey had been probably a roller coaster for me. I just wanted to thank You, for keeping Fiona safe, and for giving her to me. Yeah, I still love her, but things do change." I paused for a minute. Thinking about Ally, then switching to think about Michael. "God," I started. "Why did you make my best friend mad at me like that? Am I really not that independent to stand up for myself?" I felt that the air patted me in the back. "I guess that was a yes from You then. And, why did you also made the love of my life get away from me? I love her, so much that it actually hurts."

I looked up at the sight of Him. "Please, give me another chance, Lord. I would do anything to get back their trust, or even their love. Guide me, please." I closed my eyes and silently walked my way out.

As I hopped into my car, I could feel tears welling up my eyes. As I gripped onto the steering wheel, I still thought about her. About Ally.

She deserves to be loved. She deserves endless love. The thought of me leaving her crossed my mind, but no. I can't leave a beautiful piece of art hanging on the wall, waiting to be picked by some stranger and just be thrown away.

I went home straight after going to the church. It wasn't a long ride. But for me, it was because I get to think of her. I get to mesmerize every little bit of her.

I got home at the sight of my parents and Mali, all of them were laughing and yeah, they looked at me like I got home from a funeral.

"What's up, bro?" Mali approached and tugged me in a hug, but I just pulled away. "Nothing, I'm just tired of everything." All I can see in the corner of my eye is that they were all looking at me, and I just gave them a fake smile.

I can feel the burning sensation of fear and pain in my body. All I can do is cry. There is no one I could talk too. Luke is busy with Steph, Michael is mad at me and literally threw me, Ally was envious about me and Fiona, and Ashton was busy about their family gatherings and stuffs. I heared footsteps coming near to my room and I assume that it's Mali. She knocked. "Cal? Can I come in?" I put the covers up my body and said, "Yeah, you can." I heared her come up to me and sat at the edge of the bed. She sighed. "Friends and girl problems, eh?" She started, not making a move to touch me. "You know what, Calum?" she started. "I envy you." I got up from my bed and gave her a skeptical look. "Why do you envy me, Mali? It's like you have everything. You have a happy life, happy surroundings. I have a fucked up life." I said. Mali just gave me a sad smile. "No. Don't even say that. You really don't know a single thing about me do you?"

She hugged me, and then sat straight up beside me. "When you were taken away from us, I mean, when your band became famous, I was left out here at home. I was always being lectured by how I acted, because it seemed that I really can't keep up with things." she sighed, and she wiped a tear that fell off her eye. "You were lucky, Calum. Until now, I envy you for everything you have. You have friends who cared for you and you have F-" I cut her off. "Fiona and I broke up three years ago. I'm sorry, Mali. I lied to you. Even mum and dad doesn't know." Eventually, I cried. I'm always like this. I never stopped crying unless I intended to. "We can already see that, Cal. We can't stay mad at you, but, you really cherished that three lovely years with Fiona. You'll be okay."

Mali has always been here when no one was, except Michael who I replaced Mali with when I'm away. I hugged her so tight. "Thanks for everything, Mali. I never can be independent when I'm without you." She smiled at me then walked to my door. "You can be independent. You already did, when you were away with us? You proved it. Smile now, yeah? I love you, Cal." she winked. "I love you too, Mali." Then, she walked away from my room.

After that harsh talk, I froze in my spot. My mind is still on Ally. She is my everything. I couldn't replace her. She's my sweet escape.

I found a voice recorder on my drawer. It was a gift my mum gave me when I turned 16. I never used it anyway.

Until a plan popped up in my head.

Maybe this could solve a wreck.

Maybe if I gave her all the reasons, she'll go back.

I will never let her slip away again.