Fine Line (Bucky Barnes x OC)

It Matters To Me

Bucky was going crazy. Luna's blood pressure continued to drop on the way to the hospital and at one point she flatlined, requiring the paramedic to use a defibrillator to jumpstart her heart. It was the worst few minutes of Bucky's life as he sat next to her not being able to do a damn thing to help her. As soon as he heard the monitor signaling her heart had stopped, all he could think was that he never got the chance to tell her that he was in love with her. He had whispered it into her hair as her head rested on his chest at night and he had murmured it as she lay unconscious in the ambulance, but he had never explicitly told her how much she actually meant to him.

When they reached the hospital, Luna was rushed into surgery and Bucky was directed to a waiting room where he had been for the last three hours with only one update since they started working on her. If he didn't get a new update soon then he very well might pull his hair out by the roots. Steve had shown up an hour ago after SHIELD had collected the bombs and they had confiscated anything of informational value from the factory. He didn't mention anything about Bucky's feelings for Luna, deciding that it would be best for Bucky to bring that up, so he sat with his friend in silence. Bucky appreciated Steve being there, but he couldn't focus on anything other than all the ways that Luna's surgery could go wrong.

The doctor that had come out to talk to Bucky about her injuries had a grim expression as he spoke. Her wound was more extensive than Bucky realized. The bullet ended up passing through her large intestine and lodging in her liver. The doctor didn't give her a good chance of surviving and Bucky felt his soul fracture as the doctor began giving him stats on the likelihood of her making it off the table.

This man didn't know Luna, but Bucky did. She was stronger than he was giving her credit for. She had not only survived an abusive father, but also an abusive fiance. Luna had clawed her way through hell more than once and she was still alive. Bucky didn't doubt that she would fight through this as well. That's what he kept repeating to himself as the minutes ticked by. If he didn't, he may very well end up going mad.

As soon as Luna was awake and coherent enough to hold a conversation, Bucky wanted to tell her how he felt. He wanted to tell her that he loved her. He had made his intentions clear on what he wanted from her. Now he just needed to express how deeply his feelings for her ran...as long as he didn't talk himself out of it before that.

Luna had been through so much in her life, and Bucky didn't exactly make her feel welcome when she joined the team, so even though they had made strides in their relationship it didn't mean that she would want the same things. Even now, after their relationship had evolved from enemies to—whatever they were now—Bucky saw her fear and hesitation whenever things started to go deeper than playful banter or physical intimacy in the heat of the moment. He wasn't sure she would be on the same page as him about starting a romantic relationship. It was just another 'what if' to add to his seemingly never ending list of the unknown.

"When are they going to tell us something?" Bucky roared into the small room.

"I know it's hard to just sit here and wait, but no news is good news, right?" Steve said calmly.

"What if she doesn't..." Bucky couldn't bring himself to finish that thought as his eyes began to sting and a lump formed in his throat.

"Don't. Don't let your mind go there, Buck. Luna is a fighter."

"You have no idea." Bucky murmured.

"Can I ask you something?" Steve asked, hesitantly.

Bucky looked over at Steve and nodded.

"Have you always had feelings for Luna?"

Steve's blue eyes bore into him as if he already knew the answer.