Fine Line (Bucky Barnes x OC)

Cold

The trauma that had lingered after the ordeal with her father was enough to keep her from ever opening herself up, but add on almost being killed by a man she thought loved her–one who she loved–and it was enough to completely keep her from ever trusting anyone again. Being around Bucky was the first time Luna had felt safe in years. As hard as she tried to push against him and prevent him from worming his way through her walls, she couldn't keep him out.

She felt betrayed and hurt that he couldn't look past everything and see who she was now. That she was a great agent who made sure she had her teammate's backs when they needed her. After everything they had been through he was still trying to piece together her past. A soft knock on the bathroom door pulled Luna from her thoughts and brought her back to the cold bathroom floor she had been sitting on for the last hour.

"Luna? Are you okay?"

She didn't respond to him, choosing to give him the silent treatment.

"Doll, please answer me. I'm–I'm worried about you." Bucky's voice was soft as he spoke.

"I'm fine." Luna said, voice loud and clear.

Luna changed quickly and brushed her teeth. How was she supposed to sleep next to him? She craved his presence, but the hurt swirling around her heart was too much. When she emerged from the bathroom, she grabbed a pillow from the bed where Bucky was laying and started out the bedroom door.

"Where are you going, doll?" Bucky propped himself up, his brow furrowed.

"Please stop calling me that if we aren't around Megan or Thomas." Luna looked over at him with a blank expression, her emotions completely suppressed to quell the pain inside her. "I'm going to sleep on the couch. I need some space right now and I can't get that if we're sharing a bed."

Luna walked out of the room and down the hall to the dark living room. She threw the pillow at one end of the couch then grabbed the blanket draped over the cushions and pulled it over her body. She tossed and turned the rest of the night, unable to get comfortable without Bucky by her side. Damn him for making her get used to sleeping with his comforting warmth only a few inches away.

Once they were back at the compound it would be easier for her to fall back into her routine. She didn't need him in order to fall asleep, it was just something she had gotten used to on the mission. Everything would be fine once they were home. Except, it wouldn't be fine. She tried to imagine what it would be like when they got back to the compound.

Bucky would go back to his early morning runs with Steve and Sam. His nights would be filled with team activities or maybe he'd even start dating. That thought made Luna's stomach sink and her heart clench. While he got back to living his life, she would be hidden away in her room after her duties were done for the day. They'd only see each other during team meetings, the occasional training session, or when they went out on a mission.

Bucky's words rang in her head. She was an outcast because she had made herself one. She couldn't even remember how many times Nat and Wanda had asked her to go out with them. There had been plenty of opportunities for her to open herself up to her teammates, but she didn't because she was scared. Now she was paying the price for letting her fears and insecurities get in the way. She was miserable and alone–and she always would be.

She finally sat up on the couch around three in the morning and flipped on the TV, giving up on sleep. Without Bucky, she wasn't going to get any rest anyway. She ran through every channel before finally deciding on one playing reruns of The Office. It was mindless and something she had seen many times so it didn't require much thought to follow along.

Halfway through the first episode, she heard the floorboards creak behind her. Turning around abruptly, she saw Bucky standing there looking exhausted as hell. He hadn't been able to sleep without her beside him. A small pang of guilt stabbed through her chest. If he could just agree to let his obsession with her past go, maybe they could finish the mission with relative quickness and get back home to their respective lives. She motioned to the other end of the couch and Bucky padded across the floor to sit down.