Boulevard to Polaris (Virago Series #1)

it leaves a scar

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
it leaves a scar
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It took all the courage not to falter in front of Autumn. Mahirap. Lalo na't nalaman ko na lahat ng kasinungalingan pero wala akong maramdaman. Ni kahit katiting na sakit ngayon ay wala sa loob ko ngayon. Upos na upos na siguro ako kakaisip kagabi? Hindi ko alam, ayokong malaman.

I took another sip of my coffee. Luminga ako at mahinang nagdiwang nang malaman na kami lang ang nasa likurang bahagi ng cafe.

Smiling, I turned back to Autumn, "How does it feel to ruin my life and lavish yours? How does it feel to lie in front of me? Did it feed your ego when I was crumbling? Did you plan all of this? From my downfall down to what's happening now?"

Akmang magsasalita siya pero agad na kinuyom ang labi.

Pagak na tawa ang naisagot ko sa nakita, "I wonder if you know that I'm not a Madrigal, too, or that I'm nowhere near related to any of them, or to any of you. Is this why you used me? Alam mong hindi ako Madrigal kaya ako ang napili mong maglaro para sa'yo? That in order for you to succeed, you needed to drag everyone in your way even if they're completely innocent? Ha, Autumn?"

Halos maging bulong ang pangalan niya sa tinig ko. Hindi-makapaniwalang nakatingin pa rin siya sa'kin. Ganu'n din si Marcus na pabaling-baling ang tingin sa'ming dalawa.

"I wonder. How did you find me?" Autumn asked, confused.

Kinailangan ko pang kagatin ang labi para hindi siya mabulyawan. Sa lahat ba naman ng sinabi ko ay 'yun lang ang naging tanong niya?

"Autumn, I wanted answers. Not questions. You asked me to find you. And now you're confused how did I know?" Tumawa ako, tinatago ang hinanakit sa boses.

I can't break down now. Not in front of her and not in public. Hindi ako ganito kahina.

"A day just passed. You wouldn't ha-."

"I lived for thirty-two years of lies, and almost two decades of confusion because you left with no reasons. A day like this wouldn't have gone by without me knowing the truth. You never told me before, but you said I'll destroy everyone after knowing the truth, right? I might do that. And I'll start with you." Agad kong putol sa sasabihin niya.

Ramdam kong umapaw na sa kamay ko ang americanong iniinom ko dahil sa higpit ng hawak ko sa plastic cup nito. Napabitaw ako ro'n at ngumiti. Pinilit kong kinalma ang sarili.

"What are you guys talking about?" Takang tanong ni Marcus.

Wala sa'min may pumansin sakanya. Huminga ako nang malalim at kinalma ang sarili bago tinignan ang tuluyang naging blangko niyang mata.

"Marcus, can you give us some privacy? Thanks for your company." Ngiti na lang ni Autumn at hindi ko alam anong mahika mayroon do'n dahil agad niyang napasunod si Marcus sa sinabi niya.

Naiwan kaming dalawa sa lamesa, kapwa nakatitig lang sa isa't-isa. At doon, napansin ko na mukhang alam ko na kanino naaalala ko sa mukha ni Sir Denuevo noong una kaming magkita sa conference room.

She's the spitting image of him, from smiles down to her vidage. Kaya pala madali lang kay Tita Avara na itago siya bilang isang batang kinupkop lang niya. Umayon pala sa kagustuhan niya ang tadhana.

Pero bakit hindi 'yun umaayon sa'kin?

"Did Shaun tell you?" Tanong niya ulit bago sumimsim sa kape niya.

Shaun. The doctor. Of course, he's also a Denuevo. Malabong hindi niya alam.

"I was right. You were there back in the hospital. Dahil kung wala ka ro'n ay papayagan na sana ako ng doctor na 'yun na madischarge. But no, he waited until you told him, didn't he?"