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CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
all heart's sealed
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There it was again. My irrationality when it comes to handling my emotions. May nasabi't nagawa nanaman ako na hindi umayon sa plano ko dahil nilukob ako ng emosyon imbes na mahinahong pag-usapan ang bagay na pinunta ko ro'n.
The difference now is I didn't regret it one bit. I even feel like it wasn't enough for them to see how madness consumed me. They deserve how I reacted either way and I don't regret it. I never will.
All of them deserve my rage kaya kahit ilang tawag, mensahe, at kung ano-ano pa mula sa pamilya't kaibigan ko ay hindi ako sumagot. Marahil ay nakaabot na sakanila ang balita pero kampante naman akong wala silang may mahihita na kahit ano.
"Aster, are you sure you're fine alone?" Nababahalang tanong ni Ashton pagkatapos niya akong dalhin pabalik sa Manila.
Kinailangan niyang umalis dahil hindi na kailangang matagalan pa ang pag-iwan niya sa proyekto niya habang ako naman ay may kailangang tapusing papeles.
Tumango ako, "You're worrying too much. I'm used to living independently. I like it better actually."
"Of course, I am worried. You just went in something you don't deserve. And it doesn't even matter if you're living independently. You're hurting, Aster." Binalot siya ng pag-aalala habang nakatingin sa'kin.
Muli ay ngumiti na lang ako at umiwas ng tingin. Hindi ko matatanggihan ang sinabi niya, but at the same time, I don't want to welcome pain in my doorstep.
"I'll be fine, Ash. You can do your work without worrying."
After I assured him countless times, he finally left while I stayed in his condo.
It was my decision to travel back and forth anyway, and Ashton just went with it. He even went as far as to use his own money to bring me back here in Manila, registered me as a resident of his condominium, and make sure that I'll get a service here and there if I wanted to. Hindi naman na ako nakatanggi kasi rito sa residential complex din ako namamalagi noon. Nasa may 36th floor lang ako noon samantalang si Ash ay nasa 39th.
Malapad din ang condo ni Ashton. Kulay gray at mix ng white ang motif niya at halatang mamahalin din lahat ng mwebles sa paligid. Habang nililibot ko rin ang buong lugar ay hindi ko maiwasang mamangha sa linis ng paligid kahit alam kong hindi naman palaging nandito si Ash.
Ting!
Napatingin ako sa cellphone ko na nasa ibabaw ng sofa kasama ang bag ko. Nilapitan ko 'yun at tinignan at agad na napakunot ang noo ko sa bagong numero na may mensaheng pinadala.
Today | 10/22 | 5:42 PM
From: Unknown Number
Message: V
Mabigat pa rin ang pakiramdam ko, ganu'n din ang ulo't katawan ko dahil sa walang-tigil na pag-iyak buong magdamag. I still don't even have any sleep consumed and this message just made me even more confused than now. This is for how many times already pero gaya ng dati ay binalewala ko na lang 'yun kasama ang mensahe ng mga kaibigan ko na nag-aalala para sa kapakanan ko.
I messaged them one by one that I'm with Ashton and I assured them I'm fine. Ginamit ko na rin ang sim card kong may VPN para hindi nila ako matunton.
BINABASA MO ANG
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