Dark and Wild (Book 1)

Part 18

Y/N Pov
I packed all my stuffs with all my anger, suddenly my tears fell by itself, I cried while I put all my stuffs, clutching my aching chest.

It was hurts, it was so hurts.
My legs are limp, I fall on the floor, L holding me up.
"If it's hard for you to leave this house, you don't have to force to leave, I can't see you like this, it's hurting me" he said, pulled me to his embrace.
"He hates me L, I can't stay here, I can't live with a person who hate me" i sobbing on his embrace.

L's Pov
He didn't hate you y/n, on the contrary, he loves you so much, I can feel it, I can see on his eyes, the way he looks at you, it's not a look of hatred, he did this because he was jealous to see you and me, and now I realize that you love him as well.

My heart aching to found out, that you didn't love me but him. But what hurts me more is to see you like this, to see you cry, to see you be this fragile.
I am aware of my position, I am between you two, blocking the love.

Y/N Pov
"just take me with you, take me to leave this house" i said between the tears.
He helped me to stand, he hold my hands on him while his another hand carrying my suitcase.

We walking to downstair while holding each other.
I saw him who still stand there, on the same place when i left him.
I walked past him without looking at him.
I just want him to say a word. I waited for him to hold me not to go, to asked me to stay.

But i was wrong, he just froze, He didn't say anything, he just let me to go.
And it makes me realize, if i was teally nothing for him.

Jungkook's Pov
"she left...she left me..." i said
I can't hold my tears.
My world is completely destroyed now.
It was so painfull.
My soul, my heart, my love, everything's crushed.
Only left my dead body
"please come back y/n, i can't live without you" i talked to myself.

Y/N Pov
I reach L apartment, he hold my hand, walking inside. He takes me to his room.
"i'm sorry y/n, i only have one room here, since i live alone in this apartment" he said while he put my suitcase on the corner.
"it's ok L, thanks" i replied.
"are you ok if we sleep in the same bed?" he said, looking at me worried.
"hmmm..but don't worry, i'll sleep on the couch then, you can take the bed" he said. I smile to see his act, I know if he feel awkward.
"then, take a rest now, sleep well" he smile to me and left. But i grab his wrist before he stepped out the room.
"just sleep here with me" i said
"are..you.....su..re...???" he said nervously and i nodded.
"i'll take a shower first" i said and went to the bathroom.

When I was done showering, I saw him who was already in bed, he laid her back in a pile of pillows while watching tv.
I climbed onto the bed slowly, I sat beside him, I felt the atmosphere was very awkward.
"you smell good" he said with a soft voice.
I turned my head to facing him.
"you know, i'm so happy now, you are here by my side" he said while caressing my bottom lips.
He moved his face closer and closer again.
My heart pounding.
He brushes his lips on mine, his place his hand on my neck to depens the kiss.

His lips moved slowly, i kissed him back, i closed my eyes, try to enjoy this moment.
His kiss was so sweet but i don't know, i didn't feel anything while he kissed me.

The way L kiss me is different from Jungkook.
Jungkook was able to make myself unconscious, he was able to make my body tremble every time our lips meet, he gave me a lot of pleasure but i don't feel anything with L. I feel our lips just touching, without any passion.

Then suddenly the kiss became rough, he slide his tongue, licking, sucking my tongue.
He slide his hand inside my shirt, move up to my bra then slide inside my bra, he cupped my breast, massaging it and rubbing my nipples.
He laid me down, without breaking the kiss, began to open my shirt then my bra, my breasts are now exposed.
"You are beautiful" he said. I looked into his lustful eyes.

He started kissing my neck, giving some soft nibbles there.
I just closed my eyes, trying to enjoy all the pleasures he tried to give me.
Although I don't know how far I can do this, I can't refuse him, I don't want to disappoint him.
He massaged my breasts while his tongue fondled my nipples.

He sucks and crushes my nipples, it feels nice to me but doesn't stimulate me at all.
While he continued to play with my nipples, his hands went down to remove my panties, and now I was completely naked.

He moved down kissing my belly, then without warning he sucked my clit, i gaped by his act.
He continues to pamper my clit, licking, sucking it. I don't know when he took off his pants, but now I see his hardened members.

He rubbed his member on mine, he moaned while closed his eyes. He tried to put his member inside me, but without me knowing my tears fell.
He noticed me, and he stopped.
"Why? Did i hurt you?" He asked in worried.
"No, i'm so sorry L, i can't do this" i said with tears.
Apparently I can't do this with him, I can't have sex with a guy I don't love.
"I'm really sorry" i sobbed.
"It's ok, if you are not ready, i'm fine" he said, pulled the blanket to cover my body, lay down next to me and took me into his arms.