Dark and Wild (Book 1)

Part 13

Y/N's Pov
He took me to his car, he helped me to sit, he made sure that i was sitting comfortably and safely then he got in the car afterwards.
He put the seat belt on my body, he turned on the engine and started driving.
Situation in the car was very quiet he just kept silent, never looked at me, he look so different, his expression changed just after L visited me earlier.
" jungkook are you okay? Why are you so quite? " I asked him, look at him but he did not responded, he just keep driving in silent.
" jungkook, please say something !! " I said, i want to know his feeling, what he's thinking about right now.
" i'm ok, i'm just tired " he replied with a cold tone without looking at me.
" I'm sorry, you're tired because of me, because you're take care of me while I'm at the hospital, I'm sorry for always bothering you " i said, i feel so guilty to him.
" it's not your fault, i do not want you to apologize, do not think that way, it's just, i feel something's wrong with my heart, i don't know, but i feel bad because of it " he replied without looking at me even once.
I'm so confused now , he said that something was wrong with his heart, what is the meaning of his words, I'm curious about that, i want to know.

Jungkook's Pov
I know you're confused now, you did not know that I'm so jealous by seeing you with him.
my heart so tired, I'm tired for hiding my feelings for you, hiding my true feelings for you.
I'm tired to pretend that I'm not care about you, I'm tired to pretend that i do not know anything about our past, i'm tired to keep lying to you while
I remember everything clearly, all about you, your laughs, your smiles, your cries, your hugs, all recorded so clearly in my head.
I keep thinking about you, i always miss you, always love you, i want to tell this to you, i want you to know all my feeling towards you, but then i remembered what the doctor said to me earlier, after he checked your condition the doctor whispering some words to me.
" do not let her stressed "
That words keep repeating on my head.
" just rest y/n, try to sleep, do not think too much, i do not want anything bad happen to you " i said, turned my head to face her.
Our eyes met, she staring at me, looking right into my eyes softly and deep, did she keep looking at me like this from before? My heart pounding just by seeing her soft gaze.

Y/N's Pov
We reached home, he lifted me up and went inside
" omg baby, are you ok? How are you feeling? " I heard my aunty voice, she ran to me while caressing my cheeks.
" I'm so worried to you, I want to go to see you and stay with you at the hospital, but jungkook forbade me to come, he said that he would take care of you and tell me if i do not have to worry " she said while caressing my head.
" thank you aunty, but jungkook was right, you do not have to worried about me, i'm fine now " i replied and smile to her.
" but aunty did you tell my mom if I was hospitalized? " i asked to her, i hope she did not tell my mom, i do not want to make my mom worried.
" No baby, I want to make sure your condition first, if your condition is bad, i will tell your mom, i know you do not want to make her worried right ? " she said, she really understand me so well.
" yes you right, i do not want to make her worried, if she know that i was hospitalize, she must be chaotic, you know that she can not control her worries, thank you for not telling mom about this " i said in relief.
" ok enough, you should rest now " jungkook said, and yes he still carrying me.
" yes, you should rest, take a good sleep baby, call me if you need anything ok? " she said and i nodded.
Jungkook took me to my room, laid me into the bed, pulled the blanket over my body.

His face was so close to me, I lured by his handsomeness, how can someone like him exist, with all the perfection that he has.
He's the most perfect creature that i have ever seen, i was drowning in his dark eyes, his sharp gazed make my body tremble, but now his gaze has changed, he looked at me gently and it just make me weak, my heart beating so fast.
He is so beautiful, in this darkness, he looks so shiny, his face was sparkling under the moonlight that pierced trough the window pane.
Our eyes met, my heart jumped, and now our eyes are locked to each other.
" do not looking at me like that, or ...." he said but just silent even before finished his sentence, and without warning, he landed his lips on mine.

Jungkook's Pov
Why she looking at me like that? The way he looked at me, make me want to hug her, make me want to kiss her, want to feel her body.
And unconsciously, I landed my lips on her.
I do not know why I kissed her, I just follow my heart, and i realized, my heart and my body always want her.
" Oh god her lips feel so good "
Her soft lips crushed mine softly, and I was so happy, to found her who did not refuse to my kisses.
Her tongue was teasing my bottom lips, i can't control my lust, i kiss her hungrily, I bit her bottom lips, making her moans, she opened her mouth and I slide my tongue into her mouth, wanted to feel her more, I sucked her tongue, licked her tongue, and she did the same, she licked mine, sucked mine, it's just a kiss but she feel too good for me, i can not hold my moans i can not control my hormone, she gave me a lot of pleasure even just by a kiss, but suddenly i feel something wet at the corner of my lips, i broke the kiss, I opened my eyes, and my eyes widened, it was tears, she is crying, I looked at her eyes deeply, i'm so confused now, i do not know why she cried.

Y/N's Pov
He gives me a lot of pleasure, i feel addicted by his kisses, by his touch.
It was a beautiful moment, but also hurting me at the same time, i feel so angry with my self, i feel so stupid because i can't remember him, remembered our past, how hard I try to remember everything, all about him, all about us, but still, I can not find anything, and it makes me feel useless.

I know he's lying, he's hiding it from me, i know he definitely remember me, about our past, i know we have a strong bond, I can feel it, i can see it, the way he looks at me, the way he touches me, the way he kiss me, I can feel his love, but i don't know why he hiding it, i'm so confused by his act,
sometimes he shows me that he wants me, with all his sweetness but after that he just throws me down, acts like he's disgusted to me, giving me pain.
i feel like a fool, i don't know what game that he try to playing for.
i can not help but just cried.
" why you are crying? i am sorry, did i hurt you? " he asked softly, wiped my tears with his thumb.
" no, i just angry with myself, i feel like a fool, Because i can not remember anything about you " i replied, the tears running down my cheek even more.
" do not think that way, stop it please do not cry " he said and pulled me to his embrace.

Jungkook's Pov
Again, she's crying, I make her cry again, my heart broke into pieces every time i see her crying.
I want to help her to recall our past, I want to tell her everything, i want to tell her how much i care about her, how much i love her, but I can't, i don't want something bad happen to her, this is for her best, for her health.
" jungkook .." she said
" ssshh, do not say anything " i replied, broke the hug and laid my body next to her.
" just sleep, do not ever think that again, do not think too much, it's all for your health, " i said, caressing her cheek then pulled her closer to me, hugging her tightly and giving her a soft kiss on her forehead.

Forgive me who has lied to you all this time, hiding all our wonderful memories, this is all I can do for your best, because I love you too much, I do not want you to force yourself to remember our past, because it will be bad for your health, and I do not want to find you in that bad state, because I can not afford to lose you.
this is also hurting me so much because I have to hide my love for you, I have tried hard to hide all my feeling from you, it is so difficult for me, because everytime I am near you, my body and my heart always want you, it moves by itself, and it want to be close to you all the time.