Dark and Wild (Book 1)

Part 11

Y/N Pov
I woke up, open my eyes slowly then looked around, the room was bright and very quiet, then i felt my hand was being held by someone, i glanced over and saw Jungkook who was sleeping next to me, holding my hand.

I stroked his soft hair, touching his eyes, his nose, his cheeks then his lips, he looked so innocent while sleeping.
He moved his head, his eyes began to open, he looked at me, widened his eyes.
" y/n, you awake? Thanks god!! How are you feeling? " he asked, rubbing my hands.
" i'm good, thank you Jungkook for your caring " i said with a low voice.
" wait, i have to tell the doctor that you are awake " he said, stood up from his sit.
" no, don't go, don't leave me " i said, pulled him by his wrist.
He smile to me and back to sit.
He stared at me, caressing my cheek, and I felt had been healed by his touch.
" y/n, tell me, how can you be like this? " he asked, his soft voice sounded like a beautiful melody on my ears.
" before i answer your question, can i asked you first? " i said then he nodded.
" Jungkook.. what happened with us? What kind of relationship that i had with you at the past? " i asked him, he just silent, looking into my eyes deeply.
" last night when I saw you bring a girl to your room, suddenly a memory flashed in my head, I saw myself as a child, crying in the corner of the room, and you ran towards me, hugged me, wiped my tears, you also promised that you would stay by my side " i said, i try to explain all my memories.

Meanwhile Jungkook Pov
I'm shocked by her question, by her words, she remember that memories, she remember of my promise.
I just froze, i didn't know what to do, i didn't know how to explain to her.
I could not get any single words out of my mouth
how can she remembered our memories?
Why she asked me about that, about our past
I was questioning myself.
" Are you crazy?? Are you want to die?? You could not force your mind to think about our fucking past, it just bullshit and useless, It will only make your condition getting worse, if something bad happens to you, i won't forgive myself, please don't do this y/n, just forget it, don't ever try to remember it, " i talked to myself with anger, how can she be this stupid, by forcing herself to remember our past, she just put her life in danger.
I don't want her to remembering it, i won't let her to do that.

Back to y/n
" jungkook? Why you didn't answer to my question? " i asked in confusion, looking into his eyes, waiting for an answer.
" i don't know, i don't remember " he replied with a cold tone.
" you lie, just tell me, i know you remember it, tell me jungkook, i just want to know, i want remember all about you, about us " i shouted, my heart was aching, i know he's lying, he must be hiding something from me, but i don't know the reason, why he hiding it.

Meanwhile Jungkook pov
My eyes was glued at her, seeing her pale face, i see her eyes getting wet.
She knows that I lie, she can feel it, but i have to do this, I have to keep lying to her even I hate to do this, i hate to lie to her, i want her to remember me, all about me, i want her to know how much I love her, how much I miss her, but i can't!!
" Please stop, stop remembering all about me, do you know how hurts i am to see you like this, to lie to you?? " i talked to myself.
i don't have any choice, it's all for her health, this is the best way, this is for her best, i have to do this, I have to hide all the memories of our past
i won't let her to forced her mind to remembering me.

Back to Y/N
" i don't know, just forget it okay? " he replied with a smile, but i know that is just fake smile.
" just tell me Jungkook, please.. don't lie to me " i begged.
" i don't know, how many times do i have to tell you? I don't know, just stop asking about that now " he yelled.
I can feel the anger by his words.
My heart feel so hurts, why he yelled at me? why he lied to me? Why he mad at me? Is he hate me? That's why he didn't want me to remember of him?
I was questioning myself.
I want to know everything, but i'm sure he won't answer to all my question.
" Ok jungkook if you don't want to tell me, I'll find out by myself, I'll try my best to remember everything, remember all about you, just wait " i talked to myself.

We just silent, he looks so frustrated, he breathing heavily, and avoiding my eyes.
I just wondering, did i hurt him? did i do something really bad to him long time ago? That's why he didn't allow me to remember him? I have so many question inside my head.
" ok, i'll stop to remember it, if you answer my last question " i said, trying to hold my tears.
He glanced up, out eyes met, He looked at me in confusion.
" do you hate me? " i asked.
He just remain silent, He let out a deep sigh,
" no, i don't!! I don't hate you " he said, his voice became softly as well as his gaze.
I'm so happy to hear it.
" I don't know what to do if you hate me " i replied, with a shaky voice.
Suddenly the tears just dripping.
I'm just so happy, by knowing that he didn't hate me.
I can't hold my tears anymore, i'm crying so hard
" don't cry, please..." he said as he took me to his embrace.
" don't ever think that, don't ever think that i hate you, i'm sorry to hurting you " he said on my ears.

Jungkook Pov
It was so hurting me to see her crying.
My heart broke into pieces.
" I don't hate you, I never hate you even for a second, I'm the one you should hate for, I'm the one who made you like this, I'm sorry to have lied to you, I remember everything, all about you, about all our beautiful memories, everything has been captured very clearly but..
I can't tell you, I don't want anything bad happen to you, I don't want to lose you again, i can't live without you,
I love you y/n, so much, always and forever "