Alastor

27

{Ashurs POV}

Ashur had to hold the bag tighter as he walked back to the car, he had wanted to explore the house, so he got the bag quickly. Even though he had to move a bunch of things, which confused him, why would Thaddeus put it under a bunch of junk? He still got it rather quickly.

Now he was wishing he didn't. That he just took longer, even a millisecond longer. Maybe he wouldn't have heard what Thaddeus and his grand-uncle were talking about. They were talking about him. His family.

Ashur felt his breathing shake, he forced himself to take longer breaths in an attempt to calm down. He'd wait near the car so they thought he didn't hear, until he could get Thaddeus into a room alone he'd confront him.

But it didn't make sense. Why would Thaddeus let him stay if he knew he killed his family? 'Maybe- maybe it was a mistake. Maybe he was talking about another Ashur.' He tried to convince himself, he couldn't deal with this. Not now.

Ashur was halfway to the car when he heard a voice behind him. "Ashur?" He said, Ashur turned around to face him. "Why are you going that way?" He asked, it was Thaddeus's grand-uncle. Ashur knew about him, he knew about almost everyone in the family, except for the girl they had met earlier.

His name was Fernec, a police captain. "I thought I dropped something, guess I didn't." Ashur said, forcing a fake smile on his face. He was in pain, he couldn't hold it in anymore.

Ashur started walking towards the house, being slowed down by Fernec attempts at starting conversation. By the time he got into the house, Thaddeus was in the hallway, he looked out of sorts, which made sense.

Ashur struggled to hold himself together, he was furious. How could Thaddeus keep this from him? Even if he had just found out, he knew he burnt down someone's house, so why didn't he tell Ashur?

"Thaddeus, can you come and help me unpack? You can take your stuff while we're there." Ashur said, Thaddeus nodded following him to the spare room. Once they were in the room Ashur swiftly closed the door, throwing the bag onto the bed.

Thaddeus turned to Ashur, he had an attempt of a calm face. Ashur grinned, except it wasn't the usual smile he had, instead one without any emotion. "So this is how your gonna go about this? Just hide what you learned from me?" Ashur said, his voice cold.

Thaddeus's mood changed, he had panic on his face as he stayed silent. "Really, you can't even speak to me?" Ashur growled. "Take your damn things and go. I don't even want to see your face right now." Ashur demanded, stepping away from the door as Thaddeus stayed.

He hesitated for a moment before taking a few things from the bag, he left quickly after that. Once he was gone Ashur froze over the door, he could already feel the tears coming. 'No, no, no, please. I need to remember this. Please.' Ashur pleaded with himself, he sat down on the bed, holding his head in his hands.

After a while he became aware of his condition, he had Dissociative amnesia. His brain chose to forget specific things, things that were too traumatic for him to handle. It was good and annoying for him.

He didn't have to dwell on hurtful subjects, but sometimes Ashur wanted to remember information about his parents, and he couldn't because of it. Ashur sighed. He already wanted to forgive Thaddeus, but he couldn't. He didn't feel like he could trust him anymore.

{A few days later}

Ashur walked the hallways, he was hungry and had gone down to the kitchen, but there wasn't anything that looked good. Plus he didn't want to eat anything big, he didn't want to make Fernec mad. Thaddeus walked out of a doorway, Ashur jumped when he saw him.

He wasn't expecting him to appear, and after he had learnt what Thaddeus did he had became slightly afraid. Thaddeus had pain in his eyes as he looked at Ashur, the two just looked at each other for a moment before Ashur sighed. He lightly pushed Thaddeus back into the room, walking in after him.

'This is stupid. I shouldn't have to be the one to say something. But he'll just let this go on forever if I don't.' Ashur looked up at Thaddeus, his heart throbbed to see him like that. He looked so hurt, like he was already giving up on the world.

"Listen, I... I forgive you. You just need to understand how I feel right now, you're the only person I've trusted in two years, and this is what happens." Ashur said, the words felt lighter than he thought it would.

Ashur stayed silent for a while, Thaddeus didn't say anything either. "I... I have dissociative amnesia. It makes me lose my memory about certain things, things that are too traumatic for me to handle." Ashur said, his voice unsteady. He wanted to just hug Thaddeus and leave this be, but he needed to make sure nothing like this ever happened again.

Ashur finally gave in, giving Thaddeus a hug. "I'll never leave you. So don't even think about it." He said. "But just don't ever, and I mean ever, keep anything that big from me. Anything about my parents is very important to me, so don't try and find anything else about me unless I tell it to you." Ashur said.

"If you want to know something just ask. Don't get others involved." Ashur said, he held the hug, he didn't want to let go. Neither did Thaddeus, which Ashur appreciated.

He hadn't been close to him in a while, so he needed this. He missed being close to Thaddeus, even while he was mad at him.

'I'll never let this happen again. I can't let him think I hate him.' Ashur though. He promised himself he'd take care of Thaddeus.

Even if he was older.