A sweet scent [shadowpeach]

Chapter 16

[warning this chapter has some panic attacks and some self harm so be prepared]

Wukong pov
It was a peaceful day on flower fruit mountain. Me and  lui'er were laying together on a tree cuddling, our tails intertwined hanging down. I just came back from heaven and told him and everyone else about how I was treated there. When all of a sudden the people from heaven started to attack. We tried to defend ourself as good as we could but I noticed that lui'er was backed up into a corner. "I'll go with you" I said "if you leave my people alone" I could see he was shocked. He will be safe like this. "No wukong it's fine don't worry" he said quickly trying his best to fight back. "I'll come back I promise" I said and was brought to heaven. That's the last time I saw him for 500 years.

When the moon came out and everyone was asleep accept me I could feel someone pulling me into the pushes. I was shocked and about to attack him when I noticed who it was. "Lui'er it's so good to see you" I said happily and was about to hug him when he backed away. "Why haven't you visited when you can just walk around so careless?" He asked "well about that" I said and scratched my face "I can't really leave now since I have to protect my master" he was shocked. "That monk is only gonna hurt you, please come back home " he said desperate. It hurts me to see him like this but I can't leave my master. "I can't" I said and turned around leaving him behind...again. When I found out someone took my form and hit my master I was filled with anger. The only person I could think of that would do this is lui'er. So I was raging at him filled with anger. He tried to explain himself but I wouldn't listen so it ended up into a fight. Only to hit the finale straw and killed him. I calmed down and only then I realised my mistake. I saw the corpse of my former friend laying there lifeless. "No...this wasn't suppose to happen. No please come back...I'll make it better I promise please" I said desperate tears falling down my face. I held the cops in my arms crying, trying to make it better but nothing worked. I killed my friend...the one I loved.

"You pathetic little thing did you really thought you could escape destiny" the lbd said looking down on me. "Well at least I tried" I said joking "silence" she said and wind started to rise. "Don't you see what you did with all your choices" she said. I was confused to only see closer at what she meant. There were body lying around me with all my past choices. Many timelines of macaque laying there next to me even mk was there. I took a closer look and saw that those were corpses. I fell to the ground in able to hold myself up from the horror. I can't see it anymore, I don't wanna see it anymore. "This was all your doing" she whispered into my ear "no shut up" I said and cover my ears but I could still hear her. Continuing whispering into my ears telling me that it's all my fault. When suddenly even a corpse from macaque started to move and telling me it's my fault. Tears started to roll down my face. I can't take this anymore please just shut up.

I woke up breathing heavily. Tears rolling down my face. I tried to calm down but was unable to. I just continued breathing heavily holding onto my arms, my nails digging down into my skin. Everything else started to black out all I could hear were the voices telling me it's my fault. They were right it's all my fault...I killed my best friend and even hurt mk. My nails digging deeper into my skin, blood starting to roll down. I don't deserve their kindness...I started to scratch my skin unintentionally, my nails digging deep into my skin. I could feel blood starting to roll down my arms but I didn't care. I do deserve this pain...I only hurt everyone around me. The voices in my head became louder every second when I suddenly could hear someone and brought me back to reality "hey wukong can I come in?" Someone asked outside the door I quickly grabbed a hoodie nearby and put it on and whipped the tears. "Yeah come in" I said trying my best to make my voice sound normal. Macaque opened the door "hey have you seen my-" he cut himself off when he saw me and started to laugh. "What's so funny" I said confused "you have my hoodie on that I was searching for" he said under his laugh. Only then I noticed what I grabbed and started to blush a bit. "Yeah alright now could you get out I need to change" I said "yeah no worries by the way dinner will be ready soon" he said and left the room. I sighed and took off the hoodie. I looked down onto my arms they were full of blood and open wounds. Well I guess that's what I deserve to get after what I did. I grabbed some bandages and wrapped them around my arms. Maybe this should at least stop the bleeding for now. I thought back at macaque, he seems so happy now. Who am I kidding of course he's happy I didn't bug him with any of my problems for thousand years. It should stay like this...he deserves to be happy. I changed my clothes and went down for dinner. Everyone was chatting and laughing about something then when I entered pigsy was already laying down the plates for everyone. I sat down next to macaque not really feeling like chatting. I could tell he looked at me with a worried face but I just brush it off  I don't really want to explain anything. Everyone started to eat when the food was placed but I just stared at it not really feeling hungry. "Wukong is everything alright, you were staring at your food for some time now?" Macaque asked worried "oh I must have been distracted sorry" I said with a chuckle and started to nibble down on my food. He didn't say anything but still gave me a worried look. "Macaque I'm fine don't worry" I said with a smile. He sighed "if you say so wukong" and went back to his food. I just hope he stops asking I don't know how many worried faces and questions I can take until I break down.

After breakfast was finished I went back to my room and locked the door. I don't want anyone to worry about me when they see my wounds. I took my hoodie off and looked at the bandages, they were full of blood but nothing really went thru them. I sighed at least that's good and grabbed new bandages. I opened the old once and blood started to roll down a little. How can I be so stupid and even start doing this. Tears starting to form in my eyes. Cmon wukong get a hold of yourself and whipped the tears away. Just before I was about to put on new bandages someone knocked at the door. "Hey wukong I got some news" I could hear it was macaque. He was about to open the door and noticed it was locked. "Wukong what are you doing in there?" He asked worried "uh...nothing be right there" I said and quickly put on a hoodie and unlocked the door. "So what's up?" I asked, he looked at me questionable but then continued "we wanted to do a trip to the hot springs" he said. Horror started to build up into me, I can't let them see this. "Oh...yeah that's great" I said and forced a smile. "Well then get ready we'll leave soon" he said and left. I closed the dort slowly. This can't be true I still needed some time so my wounds could heal. If we go now they'll see everything. This can't be happening.

We arrived at the hot springs and everyone was excited. I put on some glamor on my arms so it won't be suspicious when I'll be at the hot springs with anything long armed. "Cmon red lets go" said mk excited and ran with redson in hands to the hot springs. Heh how happy they look like together. They definitely need to be together. "Cmon wukong let's go" macaque said and grabbed my arm, it hurts but I shrug it off. We were together in one of the hot spring pools. My arms hurt by the hot water but I ignored it. We were just enjoying the silence when macaque said "why do you have some new glamor on" that caught me of guard. "Wh-what do you mean" I said "don't think I'm stupid I know you have a new glamor on" he said annoyed. "I tell you I don't have any new glamor" I said trying to convince him. "Take it off" he demanded "I told you I don't have any glamor" I said nervous. "Wukong I'm losing me patience just take it off" he said annoyed. I guess I have no other choice anymore so I took off my glamor and saw his face of horror. "Wha-why wukong" he said tears started to form in his eyes. "I...I don't know" I said trying not to cry. "How long" he said "what" I sad confused "how long have you been doing this" he said tears starting to roll down his face. It hurts me seeing him like this. "Just this once I swear" I sad quickly "I...just had a nightmare and..." I tried saying but it was hard. He understood immediately and just said "just..don't do it again please" I nodded quickly "I promise I'll never do it again, just don't cry I can't bare it seeing you unhappy" I said and whipped away his tears. "Alright I won't" he said and gave me a kiss.