Purple means I love you (Donnie x [demi-girl] Reader)

Not the same

Your pov

10 minutes passed by like 10 seconds. My heart is slow and my breathing is slower. I keep my eyes closed as they leak. The whole time we just stand. We stand in a comforting silence.

Donnie's hand traced circles on my back while his other held my head to his plastron. He swings us side to side in a slow pattern making me feel drowsy.

"Y/n?" He whispered to me. I hum with a hoarse voice and move my head slightly. "Do you know why you're like this?"

I sniff and shake my head. He nods and moved his head so that his chin rests on top of mine. "Do you know what emotions you are currently experiencing?"

I know he's not the best at feelings. But I also know that he's genuinely trying to help. I just... why was it so hard to talk about this?

"No..." I mumble. He doesn't say anything for another few seconds. "Can you try to explain them?"

I sniff and pull away from his light hold. He moves his hands so that they both rest above my waist.

I cross my arms and lift one to wipe my face and hide a little hiccup. "I don't know why I'm like this. I mean, it could be Draxum. It's not the party. I'm not stressed about the party."

His gaze softened and his brows seemed to relax with his facial muscles. I laugh and use both of my hands to cover my face.

I take a deep breath. "I don't know why I'm crying. I have no reason to be." Donnie's hands wrap around my wrists and pull my hands away from my face.

"Crying is an important safety valve, largely because keeping difficult feelings inside can be bad for our health."

My face contorts at his words and a fresh set of tears roll down my face. "Point is, it's okay to cry. Hell, I cry too. It's just not okay to suffer in silence."

I had never seen Donnie cry let alone be sad or upset. Other than when he's mad or annoyed at his brothers, he pretty much stays neutral.

"Y/n, it's been nearly three weeks. Christmas has passed, school is over, and new years is today."

I feel pressure around my legs. I look down slightly and see Gypsy curling through my legs like a snake.

I look back at Donnie while I draw a breath and let him continue. "I don't think I have seen you genuinely laugh throughout these weeks."

His hand finds a way to my face and he tilts his head to the side. "Something has changed. I can't put a finger on it."

My eyes widen. His hand slips down onto my shoulder. "You're not the same." I flinch and my grip on our still-connected hands tightens.

I release the tension and look away, moving his hand off a little. My face falls dead straight and I stare off to my desk of tools.

I let out a shaky sigh and close my eyes. "You want me to tell you how I feel? Okay. Here."

I pull myself away from him and turn away. "Every day it seems like I'm drifting further and further away from myself." I tap my hands together at my repetitive words and squint.