"To thine own self be true" Yellowstone fanfiction

chapter 1 "the rose"

Summer 1993

"Hey twitty!! Come play!" My young brother lee hollard from across the field. I watched from the front porch. I shook my head. "AWEE come on twitty!!" Beth whined as they threw mid at each other. I went to step off the porch. "Twitty! Hellooo. These dishes ain't gonna wash themselves. I'm trying to teach you how to be a real woman! But you'd rather mess around with kids! Grow up would you" my mother nagged. I sighed as I stepped inside. I looked and listened to my mother as I waltz to the sink. "You're 17. You'd think you'd learn by now". I hated my mother. She was evil. The moment I turned 13 and got my period she tormented me. She'd turn on her blinders when my old man was around. When she did something that upset me my father would take notice but of course my mother would play the victim. So I ended up being the bad guy. "When you're done with the dishes set the table. Your father will be home for dinner shortly" she says as she cooks. I glance over at her she has blonde hair, blue eyes just like my sister beth and youngest brother Casey. I had black hair and black eyes my mother would tell people. Black eyes, Like a demon or something, I always found that insulting. My mother was a classy woman. Did her hair everyday, makeup every day tried to look her best. I always wanted to be like her so maybe then she'd like me just a little bit. I grabbed the freshly cleaned plates and began to set the table. "No twit! Forks go on the left!" She yelled. I hated my name. It was also an insult. Twit? Really twit? My father chose the name not thinking ahead. He loves Conway twitty. I'd rather be named Conway. "Sorry" I mumbled as I fixed all of my mistakes. I brought the left over silverware back to the drawer. I leaned on the counter watching what my mother was doing. After every wash of her hands she would put moisturizer on. She said a woman's hands shouldn't be filled with calluses. My mother came from wealth as you can tell. I mean so did I but I'd rather be working. I looked up at the kitchen door as my father walked in with my mud filled siblings clinging to his limbs. "I'm home!" My father yells happily as he finally returned from a two week camping trip with the herd. "I see that!" My mother smiled as she kissed his lips. "now you guys are gross! Go upstairs and change my sweet little piggies! Twitty help them would you?" I nodded in agreement as I followed beth and Casey upstairs. "Why didn't you play with us?" Beth asked as she peeled off her muddy clothes leaving a trail behind her. I picked up her clothes one by one as she dropped them. "Because beth I'm not a little kid. I don't play in the mud. That's baby shit" I say. She looked at me shocked "you swore!"
"I'm seventeen beth! I can do that!" I pushed her directing her into her bathroom as I turn on the faucet. "I wanna swear" "maybe when you're older" I shoved her clothes deep into the clothes hamper. "now wash yourself. I gotta go check on Casey" i shut the bathroom door behind me following muddy footprints into my bedroom. "Shit!" I quickly push open the door before my eyes widened. "CASEY!" I yelled. He had rolled all over my bed leaving mud. he had opened all of my bedroom drawers spilling them onto the floor. "Casey!! No!!" I yelled as I yanked him off my bed. He looked at me innocent and confused. "What is wrong with you!! That's my fucking stuff!!"

"What's going on!?" I heard my father yell as he stepped up the stairs. I stared at all my artwork and belongings that were ruined. "Daddy! He ruined my stuff!" My father stepped in and sighed. "Ah shit..." He groaned as he picked up Casey. "It's alright. We have more blankets and sheets in the closet"

"That doesn't fix anything!!" I yelled as I was irritated. My father sighed again. "You can always make more honey. He didn't mean to. It's not that big of A deal"
"Not that big of a deal!? How come when Casey does something it's not that big of a deal but when I do it it's a huge god damn deal!!"

"Don't raise your voice to me young lady! Casey is 3 you're 17! Huge difference! Large difference!" I kicked my stuff on the floor. "What is going on?" My mother interrupted. Here we fuckin go. "Nothing" I mumbled. "Casey ruined her room a bit"
"A bit!? All the fuckin way he did! He ruined all my shit! Everything! All of it! I hate these kids!!" My parents looked at me in shock. I wasn't the type to be bad or have a temper so my words were shocking. My mother looked at my father. My father shook his head as he left to take care of Casey. My mother stepped towards me with her hands clenched in rage. I backed up as my heart was filled with regret. My mother grabbed me by my hair yanking back. I squeezed my eyes shut "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" My mother shoved me into the bathroom shoving me against the sink. "open your mouth" she says. I shook my head "I said open your mouth!" I stared at her in fear. "Open!!!" She screamed as she dug her fingers into the skin on my cheeks. I opened my mouth as she shoved a bar of soap in my mouth. I struggled against her grip. She held my jaw shut for what felt like forever. Tears rolled down my cheeks as she yanked the soap out of my mouth then smacked me across my face. "Don't spit! You hold that in your mouth you hear me!? Do not spit!" I held my mouth shut as I cried up at my father whom stood in the doorway of the bathroom. My mother looked at him with anger "don't look at me like that john! You weren't gonna do nothin about it! So I did! I'm raising a woman here! Or at least trying to!" My father stepped away form the door. "Casey wants you" he mentioned. My mother looked back at me. "Swallow" she demanded. I began to cry harder. "Evelyn that's enough now!"
"She needs to learn!"

"She's learned eve! Leave her be!"

"Fine John! This Is why you raise the boys! Not the damn girls!" She yelled as she left the bathroom. I stared at my father as I was frozen like a popsicle. "Spit darlin. Go ahead spit" I quickly hunched over dry heaving into the sink. My father held back my long black hair. I cried into the skin as a rinsed out my mouth. My father handed me a towel before I wiped off my mouth. I faced my father as he sat on the edge of the tub. He took both of my hands rubbing his thumbs over the back of them gently. "You understand why your mama did that right?" I nodded. "Will you ever do that again?" I shook my head. "Okay baby.." he looked ashamed. He left awful. He pulled me close into a hug. "I want you to clean your room then go on to bed. I'll bring some dinner up for you" he says. I nodded without saying a word.

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I laid in bed staring into the black. A slow slight angled across the room form the door opening. My father stepped in a with a small plate of food. "hey Conway baby" he sat on the foot of my bed after laying the plate on my bedside table. "How you feelin" he asked as he rubbed my leg. I didn't say anything. I just sat shamefully. "You know your mama didn't mean nothin by what she did right?" I nodded in response. "Alright...as long as you know baby girl. Eat up. See ya in the morning" my father stood up
"Daddy?" I said softly and quietly. "Yes Connie"
"Can...can I go to work with you tomorrow?"

"Now why would you wanna do that?"

"Because daddy...I..I don't wanna be like mama...I .I don't wanna do what she does...I..I wanna...i wanna do what...what you do" my father sat and thought for a moment. "Alright I'll figure out something. That should be fine. Your mama is gonna have a cow though"

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