"To thine own self be true" Yellowstone fanfiction

chapter 18 "outlaw woman"

It's been months since Casey was out hire above me. He worked for about three weeks under his own rule. He's not the very best at the trade. He's more of a law follower, so my father decided to have him take lee's place as livestock agent. My father and I spoke over a long period of time and agreed that he could thrive underneath his own rules and followings. As for I, I have gotten my old role back, still tending to the livestock, still pushing around the cowboys whipping them into shape, as of rip and I? History. History as in I don't even acknowledge him. I try not to. Although i am still so madly In love with him I will no longer show it. I noticed myself becoming cold, heartless even. Ive even gotten back with Fred. I think the lack of love and appreciation my mother forced upon me when I was young led me to believe tough love was normal, or that I needed some kind of 'love' to keep myself stable or else I would fall off the rails. No I didn't love Fred, but he kept me sane...ish...
I stood in the mirror adjusting my tits in a slick black shirt I recently bought. So tight and sexy it attracted boners across the nation. I applied a burgundy lipstick across my mouth before fluffing up my hair. "I think you should change" Fred Romes in from the bunks sucking his teeth on a tooth pick. I snort a laugh. "Nah. It took me forever to jump in these tight jeans. I look good. Don't ruin it" I stepped past him after packing my purse with my makeup. Fred tugged me back. "I ain't suggesting. I'm telling you twitty. I don't need no man tryna grab at you" he gripped my arm a bit tight. I pull my arm away. "You should be telling me to show myself off. You should be proud of the woman you can pull" I said jokingly. He huffed. He grip was getting tighter. I pried his fingers off my arm. I mumbled angrily "you promised me you weren't gonna treat me like a rag doll anymore Fred! That's the only reason I chose to go out with you!" I mumbled with gritted teeth quietly. "You're mine twitty. You're not made for other men's eyes" I rolled my own eyes as i shoved his arm off. "I ain't changing! I feel good! I look good! You should be happy! You're making me feel like I should break up with you!" I whisper yelled. "You need more makeup on your face twitty" I frowned slight at his words. I backed up to look back in the mirror "why honey? What's wrong with it?" I said sweetly watching my face in the mirror making sure i didn't smudge lipstick. "You'll need to cover this!" My face was struck by his large hand print as he smacked the lights outta me. I slipped up off my heels, rolling my ankle causing me to hit the floor. I held my hand on my cheek as I looked up at him. "Don't you forget who you fucking belong to. You look like a whore! Are you a whore!?" I felt like crying. He gripped my cheeks in his palm squeezing hard. I quickly realized I made a mistake getting back with him. "N..no! I..I'm not..i just wanted to..l..look good for you...I-"

"You can't look good when you look like a whore! You can't look good with these! Hanging off your thighs" he grabbed a handful of my thigh in his hand as he pinched and wiggled it. I pulled my leg away with shame. "You dress like a whore but you won't even put out! What kinda bitch are you?" he slammed the door behind him as he stormed out. I stared down at my now glowing red thighs as I sat on the floor of the bathroom. I stood up dusting myself off. I looked at the mirror at my irritated red cheek. I adjusted my makeup. Covering my swollen cheek before leaving the bathroom.
Once I got to the bar it was packed To the brim with boozers, losers and hookers. I had ignored everything Fred said, his opinions didn't bother me. I was on the urge of breaking it off with him. He had become violent again or the past three months. I had bruises beyond my arms and hips. Everyone new. They didn't know for a fact but they nee Fred was going something to me. I find beth trying to take me out for drinks or go shopping so I wasn't alone with him. I always said no only wishing I said yes. I decided to spend the night having fun Drinking like I always do. Since we're in public Fred wouldn't dare hurt me. So I stayed close to the boys all night even spoke with everyone around me, since everyone new my name and who I was of course. I was always the popular type, not at home maybe but at bars and rodeos even at live stock auctions I was the shit. People ask for me more than they ask for my father.