"To thine own self be true" Yellowstone fanfiction

chapter 47 "condemned"

1984
Twitty 8, Lee 4, Jamie 3, beth 2

The small baby screamed loudly as the other two roared. Toys being tossed, blood being drawn and bruises being created. The boys were rambunctious. They constantly wrestled causing each other to cry out of aggravation. "Enough!!" I yelled as I yanked them apart with one hand as the other arm held beth on my hip. "Go!! Go to your room!"

"No!" Lee yells before stomping full force on my shoeless foot. Immediately I tossed beth on the couch. I grabbed Lee by his shirt then quickly shoving him to the ground. "You're a freaking jerk!!" I grabbed him by his pant leg as he cried. I dragged him all the way to his bedroom. "Twitty!!' I jumped. My mother stood in the doorway way. She had witnessed my behavior. "I leave for two seconds and you can't even keep yourself together! Let alone the kids!"

"He hurt me mama!! He hurt my toe! He hurt Jamie!" I called out. "I don't care! If you can't handle them now how will you ever handle anything!" She grabbed my wrist leading me to the kitchen. She slapped a sponge in my hand to do the dishes. "Someday you're going to be a mother. And I can already tell you're going to be an awful one" she spoke as if I wouldn't understand her tone. "Do us all a favor and don't become a mother" she said sternly as she aggressively chopped vegetables. I hung my head towards the sink. "Yes ma'am..."

"Only a certain few women should become mothers and there's a lot of women who become mothers who shouldn't be. You are one of those. Don't be one of those" I listened to the sizzling of the vegetables hitting the bottom of the pan she was cooking with. I parked my head up as I heard Shuffling came from the front door behind me. "how are things looking out there?" My mother asked as my father kissed the back of her neck. He shivered as he shook the snow off his his body. "Awful. Everything is snowed in. This is the most snow I've ever seen" my father kissed the top of my head as he walked past. "This will probably be the most snow you'll ever see. Why don't you put on your snow pants and build a snowman" my father smiled before waking into the other room to retrieve my siblings for some outdoor fun. My eyes lit up. "Okay!!"

"Not so fast twitty. You've got dishes to finish and laundry to fold. You're not going anywhere" my mother spoke sternly. I frowned as I stepped back to the sink. I suppose she was right. My lips would've turned blue anyways. "Come on twitty you coming?" My father smiled as he held the doors open for everyone else. I shook my head "no thank you daddy..." I was frowning. I just wanted to be a child for once. I wanted to go outside with my daddy and play...for once. "I'll do her chores. Go on and play Twitty" my grandad spoke as he placed the newspaper he was reading down on the table. My mother looked back beyond her shoulder. "What? No! I'm teaching her responsibilities!" She yelled. "You know how to do dishes and laundry right Twitty?"

"Yes papa I do"

"Then Go get your boots on"

I ran my young legs down the hall for my belongings. I then ran outside before anyone else could tell me no. "Daddy!!" I yelled out. My father looked up form tossing Lee around. "There you are Twitty girl!" My father held open his arms as I leaped into his heart. We spent a couple hours playing outside. We through snowballs and built igloos and rolled snowmen. It was the first time and practically the last time that I actually felt like a kid. I've never seen my father smile so wide at me. My cheeks hurt so much from smiling. My heart was full and my body was so excited. My body was also failing me at the same time. My fingertips were blue I noticed when I slept off my glove. I couldn't feel my fingertips nor the tip of my nose. I was shivering very bad even though I had layers upon layers on. My teeth were chattering when I shuffled my way through the snow to get to my father. I pulled at my father's sleeve. John look down at me with a worried look upon his face. "Are you okay?" He asked as he held his warm hands on my cheeks. "I think I should go inside" I shivered. My father nodded frantically as he helped me up the snowy slippery porch steps. "Go inside put some dry clothes on and sit by the fire I'll be there in a second" my father demanded. "Y...yes sir" I shivered as I ran inside. I quickly began stripping at the door, leaving snow tracks throughout the house. "You alright Twitty?" My granddad questioned as he looked up from a book. I nodded as I peeled my wet pants off. "I...I'm j..j..just fr.. freezing papa" my grandfather stood up draping a blanket over my shoulders. "Sit down. I'll get you some coco" he whispered softly as he jogged to the kitchen. "What the hell is all this water on the floor!?" My mother shouted. Fuck. "Twitty! Are you kidding me!?" She yelled. "Now I want you up and cleaning this floor now! Twitty now!"

"Sorry..m..mama.." I stood up quickly
"Give her a damn minute to warm up Evelyn. Can't you see she's sick?" My grandfather raised his voice. I've never heard him raise his voice. My mother stood puzzled at his tone. My grandfather scooped me up setting me down at the fire. He held my blue hands up to the flame as he rubbed them between his fingers. "She's got anemia. If you took her to a doctor once in awhile you know that"

"Well I told her not to go outside but you insisted" my mother crossed her arms angrily. "Nuh uh this ain't my fault Evelyn. This is a young girl just begging for her mother to care about her!"

"Don't you tell me how to care about my damn children!! She's fine! Twitty get up and clean this water!" My mother pointed at me and then the floor. "yes ma'am" I stood up before being sat down aggressively by my papa. "If she doesn't warm up now you'll l lose a daughter!"

"So be it! Twitty come clean up this water! Now!!"

My grandfather sat with shock on his face. I don't think he knew that someone could be so cruel to a child of their own. My grandfather helped me in his arms not allowing me to go anywhere until I was warmed up. He stared at her with eyes that were filled with hatred. He adjusted my blanket and scooped me closer as he released me. He walked up to my mother and Got in her face. He didn't touch her and he didn't yell. But he spoke these words I'll never forget "you may have multiple children but you'll only ever have one oldest daughter. I pray to God that you never know the feeling of losing a child. That feeling is a feeling that will haunt you for the rest of your life and send guilt through your soul that you will never feel any other way. If she dies under your watch someday, may God send you straight to hell. may you be tortured in hell"
From the back of the room my father witnessed every second of this conversation. "Son, I think you found the wrong woman to be the mother of your children" my grandfather cleared the ball in his throat as he was getting choked up. My father watched my mother with disappointment. My father was frowning. I crawled up in a ball as I watched this go down. I was very uncomfortable because I didn't like any sort of confrontation. "That's enough dad. Evelyn... let me talk to you upstairs"

"I need to finish dinner. We can talk later"

"No! We are talking now. Let's go!"
They went upstairs for a very long time. My mother didn't come down for the rest of the night so I have no idea what my father did..or said. My grandfather held me in his arms for the rest of the night keeping me warm and keeping me safe. "Someday Twitty girl you're going to become a mother. When that day comes don't you take anything your mother has done to you and do that upon your child. You are your own person. You treat your children the way you wanted to be treated as a child that I know you never got. You are strong and beautiful and independent. You're mother does not and never will define you... You understand me?" My grandfather grumbled. I nodded my head. "I understand very much papa...very much"....