"To thine own self be true" Yellowstone fanfiction

59 "cowpoke"

I had a bad gut feeling when stepping foot outside my car in the driveway. I stared up the at the house that was built by my great great great grandfather in the 1800s. When learning about my past relatives and the history of this ranch it makes me ill to think that this place could be thrown away in a matter of years. I was told long ago by my great grandfather how much I reminded him of his great aunt peach and aunt cara. He said the way I look and the way I act is just like them. I took that to heart. When my mother would beat me down my grandfather would
Bring me back up again using their stories and their words . Their stories would motivate me to continue my fathers story. Now I believe my fathers story is coming to an end.

"There she is!" Someone called out from afar. "Twitty!! Twitty look at you! You look so good!!" Tater screamed out allowed as she ran towards me. With a soft smile and open arms I grasped around her tightly. "Look how beautiful you are!" She squealed as she lifted me in a hug. "Thank you tater"
"My sweet candy corn baby. C'mere baby!" Lloyd quickly yanked me into his arms like a child. He squeezed me so tight and never let me go. "You're doing amazing honey" he whispered in my ear as he held me. He held back a sniffle as he spoke "look how strong you are darlin" he rubbed my arms as he pulled back from me. "Thank you Lloyd..." I spoke gently as he kissed my hand. "And you!! You dumb rodeo freak!" Lloyd called out as he hugged Travis whom came home with me. This is the first time I spoke to anybody since my daughter died.  "MA!!!" a deeper voice shouted. My heart fluttered as I heard the young shout. I stepped out passed the crowd with open arms. "C'mere baby" I smiled as carters skinny body hugged me tighter than anyone else. "Don't leave me please... I need you! I can't live without you. Please I need you!" Carter begged. I pushed his long curly hair out of his eyes "never again car.. never again will I leave this place without you" I kissed his pale skin before I took in the moment as a gazed upon everybody. I hugged everybody as they wish me well. But Behind us I could see rip watching from over the shoulders of my loved ones. I looked down at the ground then released a long huff. I placed my hand on Travis shoulder as I said "I'll be right back" with understanding Travis looked back at rip then back at me with a nod of his head. Anxiously I stuck my fingers into my back pockets as I followed rip who had drifted into the barn. Shyly I stepped into the barn as he stared out the other doors on the other end of the building. "Funny meetin you here" I spoke. I could see him listening then bowing his head down as he rubbed his chin. He didn't respond to me. "I don't....expect you to forgive me..ever in your life...but.. I need to say I'm sorry rip.. I'm so sorry"

"For what?" He grumbled. I was shocked he spoke. "For.. for " I couldn't say it. It made me feel sick. "For killing our little girl.." I whispered under my breath. "Twitty don't you speak of her now!" He shouted. I bit down on my nails as I watched him pace the hay littered ground. "I'm sorry. I can't keep this shit bottled up!"

"You're selfish you know that!?" He yelled. I watched him with some fear in my eyes. "You were gonna leave me here by myself! On my own! While you took the easy way out in that fuckin river!" His voice was tearful, cracking under his breath. "I would've been suck here with both of my girls gone! I don't think I would've lasted myself if you were killed!" He wiped tears away quickly. "You have Beth-"
"That isn't the fucking same twitty!' It ain't the fucking same!" I allowed him to breathe before speaking another sentence. His heart was in the right place. "I love you. I love you so fucking much" I sobbed slightly. "Then let her go twitty. She's still haunting your thoughts because you won't let her go! Let her go baby! So I can let her go!" With a tearful sob I wrapped my arms around him following with a deep, long passionate kiss. I sobbed into his lips as he held me tightly by my waist "you will always..be the one June bug..." I kissed him between words. I held his cheeks in my palms as I spoke closely to his lips. "You baby. I'll never forget you..I'll never forget us" he whispered against my skin as he placed his head in the crook of my neck. "I love you June bug... I love you so damn much" I whispered to him. Rip took my hands and kissed the backs of them. "You can't leave me alone in this damn place. You hear me? You can't let go of me but you sure as hell have to let her rest Twitty"