"To thine own self be true" Yellowstone fanfiction

chapter 30 "thunder rolls"

Couple months had past, I sat back and took care of myself, I spent most of my time grooming and taking care of the horses. I wasn't allowed to do much more than that. At the point of my pregnancy my doctor claims the child is quite small for the trimester I'm at. He also says it isn't much to worry about, just no lifting and doing wild things. I agreed. I took a long load off. Carter had Been my main focus. Whipping him into shape. I found that he never disrespected me, rarely rip, although it still happens. I continuously remind rip that he is a teenager and it's what they do. Carter, I like to believe has taken care of me more than I have him.

I stood on the porch watching Carter walk up from the barns. "good morning pretty boy" I sat on the porch swing rubbing my enlarge stomach. "Mornin ma!" He clonked his boots up the steps to greet me. "You riding out with the boys today?" I squinted my eyes as the sun come up behind him. He stepped to my view to the block the sun from hitting my eyes. "No ma'am. I think I'm gonna stay back and take care of you" he says. I smile softly. "You ain't gotta do that. You can go have fun. I can manage my own" Carter shook his head "actually I was going to ask rip if I could" I shrugged my shoulders before panning to look at the front door opening. Rip held an apple in his mouth and his boots in his hand, the other hand holding a mug he pawned off to me. I took the mug watching him sit on the steps to put his boots on. "Shouldn't you be strappin down the horses?" Rip question after taking a bite of his apple then knocking his boots together to dust off the mud. "I did. But, I was gonna ask you for your opinion on something" Carter asked as he stepped off the porch to face rip. Rip glances up at him as he shoved his foot in a boot. "Yeah what's that?" He asked as he yanked his boot tightly with the shoe lace. "I was wondering if I could stay back here and keep an eye on ma. Since she's about to pop n all" I laughed along with a groan as I stood up from the swinging bench. "Yeah I think that's a good idea. I'd rather her not be alone" Carter nods as rip stood up patting his shoulders. "Keep an eye on her. Make sure she doesn't work" I roll my eyes as Carter nods. "Yes sir" rip looked up at me from the bottom of the steps. "That alright with you mama?" He could never look at me without a wide smile with rosey cheeks. "yes sir" I replied as i smiled down at him. He kneeled on the steps then kissed my belly. I stroked his hair as he stood to my level then also kissed me. "I'll be back in a week. You better hold that damn baby down till I get back" I stroked his cheek. "I want this thing out of me. When it comes it comes" I kissed him once more deeply as he patted my ass. "She's all yours" rip smacked Carter's shoulder before grabbing his duffle bag. "It looks like it's gonna rain. Y'all better get out there soon" I shout as rip started to wander off. "Twitty! You've got one thing to worry about and it's that baby! I've got the rest remember!" Rip waved me off. I gave him the finger before I looked down at Carter. "Want some breakfast? I'm starving" Carter nods in agreement before entering to house to start breakfast.

....

"Man. Look how dark them clouds are" Carter calls as he stood outside the stables in the strong warm breeze. I peeked my head out as I held a broom in my hand. I noticed an odd pattern in the sky. An almost familiar pattern. "You see the skips in the clouds?" I glanced at him as I pointed. He nodded before taking the broom from my hands. "Those are tornado clouds" Carter's eyes widened "is there a tornado coming?" He asked with slight panic in his voice. I shook my head. "There hasn't been a tornado here since I was about 6 years old. The likeliness of that is low" I leaned my back against the door as I watched Carter sweep the hay covered isle in the horse stables. "What was it like?" He asked. I shrugged. "Well, at the time I was young. So I don't remember much. My daddy always told me to find the lowest part in the land and stay low. That way the tornado flies right over you" I held my hand out full of horse pellets for Hank to chew from my palm. "What do we do if one comes? I mean...where is the lowest part in the land?" He questioned. "The cellar of the house. My grandfather had one made after that night when I was young. Lost a lot of cattle that night too" suddenly the horses became rowdy. They yelled louder than usual. The breeze outside of the barn caused the doors to slam open and closed. Carter looked at me as the horses stood on their hind legs screaming in fright. I mushed to the barn door to look outside. The sky was black and the trees were wild, I could see the devil spinning from yards away. "Let the horse out Carter! Quick!" I yelled. Carter didn't ask questions. We each unlatched the horses gates allowing them to run to their own safety. I held open the flapping doors as they broke free. Carter stood beside me as he watched the sky in fear. "Get down Carter! Get down!" I grabbed his arm as we dove into one of the horses pen. I pulled him down to the ground hovering over his Young body. The wind between the wood of the old barn began to screech. I could see the roofing of the barn being swept away in the wind. We both jump in fight as we hear loud crashing from outside. Could be trees falling, could be houses collapsing, could just be the sounds of the ranch being demolished in the devil's path. As I held Carter close I felt an overwhelming cramping sensation in my stomach, almost like a menstrual cramp. I hollered in pain. "What! What! What happened?" Carter yelled over the loud storm. As I was once on my knees, I fall back onto rear with my hand held underneath my belly. "Oh fuck!" I winced in pain. It felt like my insides were tearing apart. I could feel myself naturally pushing. I gripped onto Carter's shoulders as I screamed in agony. The young boy stared at me in fear although he held a straight face. "W...what is it?" He looked down at me as I stood in a squatting position. "The little fucker is coming now!" I screamed as I could feel myself tearing apart. "Fffuck!!" I cried. I gasped for air already feeling exhausted. I pulled up my dress as I could feel the child crowning. "Oh..my..god..what...what should I do!? What should I do!!" Carter looked up at the barn ceiling as we hear it crack and creak. The tornado was here. "It's coming!" I screamed loudly. My screams were blood curdling as I felt my skin split between my legs. Carter quickly slipped off his shirt and laid it out in his arms ready for my instructions. My finger tips slid over the childs head, easier said than done I pulled the child from my bleeding pelvis. I screamed in release as the child was taken and wrapped into the shirt. The child was screaming loudly, louder than I was, louder than the storm. the storm suddenly caused the roof above us to be taken clean off. Holding the child against my chest Carter laid on top of us both to protect us from the devil. I've never been prouder. Feeling my freshly born babies nails dig into my chest was the feeling of still being alive. I sobbed into Carter's body that held a baby between the both of us. As thing began to settle he sat up. The shirtless 15 year old looked up at the roofless sky. His body was covered in scratches and nicks from the flying wood pieces of the roof. Breathlessly he said "I'm gonna go get help" I looked up at him with tearful revealed eyes. "Find rip" I panted. Carter quickly ran out of the barn yelling something I couldn't understand. as weak as I was I stared down at my child who was still crying. "I know... I know.. what..what a life I brought you into already" I sobbed as I held the child against my chest. I slowly stood up. I could feel blood dripping down my legs. I shuffled my way out of the stall, I grabbed a pair of nearby hedge trimmer used for horseshoe nails. I cut the umbilical cord off as quickly as I could. I was in so much pain and so much shock. I slowly stepped out into the sun that peaked from between clusters of clouds. I looked out into the open fields of fallen debris to see Carter frantically waving on horses with men. I leaned my weak body against the barn doors watching and hoping for a quicker arrival. My child was quiet, the sun warmed her. Her. She was beautiful. Her eyes were blue and her hair was black, she had the looks of her father. "What did you do!?" A voice screamed. "No! I..I didn't do anything! I didn't!" I looked up at rip yelling at Carter. Carter had the fear of God in his face as rip yelled at him. Rip continued to yell, not allowing Carter to get a word in. Standing between rip and him was my father pushing rip apart from hitting Carter. I'm not sure what he thought Carter did but I knew he thought it was my death. I hobbled my way up the gravel wearing nothing but my bloody dress and legs along with a newborn child in my arms. "R..rip!" I called out pathetically. "Rip!' I cried. I tried to run but it was too painful. My father stood with tears in his eyes at the sight of my body. Rip panned over to me. His skin was as white as a ghost. It's as if his knees became weak and his arms were heavy. He ran full speed to assist me as I started to hit the ground. Rip slipped the child out of my arms as I fell to the ground. Rip held the baby against his beat up Carhartt jacket. My father kneeled beside me holding me up right. I shut my eyes as I could feel myself shutting down. "C...clean her up..she...she...n..needs a doctor! She...she needs...she needs to be warm!" I cried. I opened my blurry vision to see rip hand my child off to tatter who held the baby close to her chest. I could see rips lips screaming something at the other men around him. They each scurried off. I watched as rip lifted me up repeatedly saying something I couldn't make out. He ran with me in his arms. I watched his face as he was focused on saving my life. I could read his words "stay with me" and "don't leave me".
"I want my baby" I said. "I want my baby" I repeated. He kissed my temple before I slowly drifted into a deep almost permanent slumber.