"To thine own self be true" Yellowstone fanfiction

49 "drunk driving"

Three weeks, 3 days, 13 hour, 23 seconds... I sit and stared at the clock. Tick. Tick. Tick. I haven't left my room. I stay in one spot to watch the time flow past. All around me sat empty bottles upon empty bottles. I haven't had contact with anyone in weeks. I stay curled up in the dark of my empty cold bedroom. I've been living with my father since that night. I didn't have the guts to step outside what so ever. My father tried to get me to come out, I lock the doors. Beth tries to get me to eat. I refuse. I knew Casey was living in the same house. I'm sure he thinks it's safer that way. I can hear them speaking through the walls about me, about tate, about the whole situation. It sounds to me Monica is incredibly upset about what happened. Good God I don't blame her. They argue alot. It upsets me. I know how much Casey cares. Tate is having an awful time also. He's extremely traumatized. I could hear them trying get him out to eat and socialize. I guess I'm doing the same thing. "Twitty. Twitty honey suppers done. Come eat" my father muffled from outside the door. I didn't answer him. I covered myself in a blanket as I sat on the floor beside my bed. I watched the shadows from under the door as he picked up the breakfast I didn't touch off the floor then replacing it with something fresh. The thought of eating made me sick to my core. I couldn't eat. I didn't deserve to eat. All I devoured was booze and pills. Although I noticed my pills and my booze supply was running very low. I had to get my fix somehow. That's when I decided to stand up. I slipped my slippers on. I threw on a baggy sweatshirt then opened my door for the first time in weeks. There sat a large plate full of steak and potatoes along with green beans. God I hated beans. Stepping over the plate I made my way to the living room. That is where I found the whiskey table. I quietly took a bottle holding it under my arm. "Twitty" beth gasped quietly. "You coming to eat with us?" She questioned sweetly. I didn't answer. I didn't even express emotion. I turned my back to her then headed back towards my bedroom. I then stopped. I closed my eyes I heard Monica pleading to tate to come out from underneath the bed. Casey interrupted her demanding that tate must come out. Just like me tate didn't listen. I stood in the doorway as this was happening. I felt so guilty. This was all my fault. "Casey stop. You're scaring him more!" She argued. Casey stepped back and listened to her complaints. "Hey...hey Twitty" Casey spoke with concern in his voice. I stared at the bed as i could hear his cries from underneath the bed. "How are you feeling?" Casey asked. I stepped closer to the bed. "Pull him out." I spoke. Casey and Monica furrowed their brows then tilted their heads. "He won't come out" Monica said. "I said pull him out" I specifically looked at Casey. Casey thought for a moment then did as I said. He grabbed tate who began to scream and cry "no!! No!! Stop!!" Monica herself became unhinged trying to stop Casey from bothering. Once tate was exposed I grabbed his arm leading him to the front of the bed. "You need to man up! Your daddy has been through hell and back. Do you see him crying and hiding away like a scared little kid!?"

"I am a scared little kid"

"Wrong! You've seen shit that no little fucking kid has ever seen. You're becoming a damn young man! Now grab your fucking dinner, sit down and shut up!" I yelled without a care in the world. Tate did just that. He grabbed his plate, sat down and shut the fuck up. I stepped past tates offended mother as I entered their master bathroom. Technically my father's bathroom. "Don't talk to my son like that!" She cried. I opened up the medicine cabinet, grabbing what ever pill I could find. I popped open the lid and swallowed a few "I just did. Can't take back something I already did" I called from the bathroom. As I entered the room to make my way back to my own bedroom I said "you baby him too much. You're the reason he is scared"

"I am not! I am not the reason he is fucking scared!! That's on you! I'm not taking parenting advice from you of all people! Look at you!" She shouted as she cried. I watched her with a blank dead stare. I waved my hand at her as I wondered back to my bedroom with whiskey in one hand, pills in the other. I sat down on my bed as I heard them arguing. There was a lot of slamming around and sobbing going on in the other room. On the bright side, at least I gave their kid a chance at growing up. I could hear him defending what I did then her screaming at him. After a few minutes Casey scolded "She is leaving! Going to her grandfathers because you had to stick your nose where it doesn't belong!" Casey swung open my bedroom door yelling in anger. I rolled my eyes as I sipped my drink. "Can't hide your kids forever" i mumbled into the brown bottle against my lips. "You're gonna tell me how to raise my kid!? My! Kid!? After you killed yours!" Casey stopped quickly after releasing such powerful anger at me all at once. His face fell guilty, he went pale. "Mmmf" I mumbled as I stood up. "I didn't mean that...twitty I'm sorry" I stepped towards Casey waving my hand in his direction. "Go" I spoke as I he slowly stepped back out of the door. "Twitty...I'm so sorry...I was just upset"

"Go!!" I screamed. "Get the fuck outta here!" I threw an empty bottle in his direction. Casey stumbled back avoiding the bottle. "Twitty. What the fuck!" My father yelled from the hall before entering my room. "You need help" my father spoke. "You need fucking help!" He observed the bottles upon bottles, cigarette buds and pill bottles. "Don't tell me what I fucking need mmkay?" I slurred. "You're disappointing me Twitty" my father spoke deeply. "fucking think I care? News flash daddy I ddon't. I don't give a fuuuck about anything anymore" my father shuffled in thr room Knocking over empty bottles. "The way you treated Casey and his family is inexcusable. Get up twitty"

"I don't care"

"Up twitty. Up!" My father grasped my arm tightly as he yanked me up off the bed. Without hesitation I shoved him off me. "Ive delt with your bullshit!! All my fucking life! Get your fucking hands off me!" I shoved my father back once again. "You need to go! Sober up twitty! Please!" He led me to the front door before I shoved his hand off once again. "Daddy. Stop. Leave her be. She just needs to rest" beth pleaded with my father. "I don't care beth. She needs help!"

I burst out laughing at his comment. "Help? I'm the one who needs help? Fffuck you old man" i fumbled down the steps of the porch to Yellowstone labeled truck. "Help! Why because I drink!? Might as well get the whole state of Montana fucking HELP!" I screamed as I slammed the driver side door shut. "Twitty! Twitty stop! You're not driving in the state you're in!" Beth called out as she ran to catch up to me. I glanced out the windshield at the cowboys who had been working that evening. They were watching the situation taking place. That's when I got a glimpse of rip finishing up his work. He didn't look sickly or upset at all. He looked stone cold as always. How did he do it? How is he doing this. "Twitty!" Beth hit the window for my attention. I zoned back in then rolled the window down slightly. "Come on out twitty. Let's get you a hot meal and a hot shower how does that sound?" I looked back out the window at rip watching closely from a distance. "Is he okay" I whispered under my breath, holding back feeling. She looked over at rip then back at me. "He's being the best he can be..." she spoke gently. I sighed as I continued to pull out. It wouldn't be the first or last time I drove completely hammered I had to go somewhere. So I went to the only place I could think of....