(Everyone's eating at the dinner table while Helen feeds Jack-Jack.)
Dash: Mom. You're making weird faces again.
Helen: Mmm...No, I'm not.
Bob: You make weird faces, honey.
Helen: Do you have to read at the table?
Bob: Uh-huh. Yeah.
(Helen spots Dash trying to take a bite out of steak without cutting it.)
Helen: Smaller bites, Dash. Yikes! Bob, could you help the carnivore cut his meat?
Dash: Ow.
(Bob comes over and cuts Dash a piece of steak.)
Helen: Dash, you have something you wanna tell your father about school?
Dash: [nervously] Uh, um, well, we dissected a frog.
Helen: Dash got sent to the office again.
Bob: [distracted] Good. Good.
Helen: No Bob, that's bad.
Bob: What?
Helen: Dash got sent to the office again.
Bob: What?! What for?
Dash: Nothing.
Helen: He put a tack on the teacher's chair...during class.
Dash: Nobody saw me. You could barely see it on the tape.
Bob: They caught you on tape and you still got away with it? Whoa! You must have been booking. How fast do you think you were going?
Helen: Bob! We are not encouraging this.
Bob: I'm not encouraging, I'm just asking how fast...
Helen: Honey!
[Bob cuts through the plate and table, causing it to collapse]
Bob: Great. First the car, now I gotta pay to fix the table...
Helen: The car?! What happened to the car?
Bob: Here. I'm getting a new plate. [He gives Dash his plate and leaves angrily]
Helen: So, how about you, Vi? How was school?
Violet: Nothing to report.
Helen: You've hardly touched your food.
Violet: I'm not hungry for meatloaf.
Helen: Well, it is leftover night. We have steak, pasta. What are you hungry for?
Dash: Tony Rydinger.
Violet: Shut up!
Dash: Well, you are.
Violet: I said, SHUT UP, you little insect!
Dash: Well, she is!
Helen: Do not shout at the table! Honey!
Bob: (off screen) Kids! Listen to your mother!
(Helen sighs and the family goes back to eating dinner)
Dash: She'd eat if we were having "Tony loaf".
Violet: THAT'S IT!
[Violet jumps over the table and starts fighting with Dash]
Helen: Stop it!
(Dash starts running around the table hitting Violet every time he passes her.)
Dash: You're gonna be toast!
Helen: Stop running in the house! You sit down!
(Violet puts a force field in front of Dash to stop him, laughing.)
Dash: OW! HEY! NO FORCE FIELDS!
Violet: You started it.
(Helen then stretches her arms to grab Dash and Violet.)
Helen: You sit down! You sit down! Violet!
(Dash and Violet go under the table to fight with Helen's arms still attached.)
Helen: Ow! Ow!
(In the kitchen, Bob gets another plate while still reading the newspaper.)
Bob: "Simon J. Paladino, longtime advocate of superhero rights, is missing." Gazerbeam.
Helen: (off screen) BOB, IT'S TIME TO ENGAGE! (back on screen) Do something! Don't just stand there! I need you to...intervene!
Bob: You want me to intervene? Okay! I'm, I'M INTERVENING! [He picks up the table and Helen, with the kids still fighting.]
Helen: Dash, let go your sister! Violet, let go of your brother!
[The doorbell rings and everyone pauses.]
Jack Jack: Hello?
(They quickly go back to their original positions.)
Bob: Get the door!
[Dash runs over to answer the door.]
Dash: Hey, Uncle Lucius, Aunt Maddie, Loki, Elsa, Jack Frost, and Luna!
Lucius: Hey, Speedo! Hey, Helen. Vi, Jack-Jack.
Maddie: Hey, everyone!
Loki: Hello.
Elsa: Greetings.
Jack Frost: Howdy.
[Dash runs back to his seat at the table while Helen quickly stops the light above the table from moving.]
Bob: He-hey! Ice of you six to drop by.
Lucius: Ha! (sarcastically) Never heard that one before.
Dash [gargling]: Oh, Elsa! [He spits water in the air.]
Elsa: WHOA! [She freezes the spit shot and catches it.]
Dash: Aw...I like it when it shatters.
Bob: I'll be back later.
(Bob gets up and heads to the door)
Helen: Hey, where are you two going?
Bob: It's Wednesday.
Helen: Right. Bowling night. Say hello to Honey for me, Lucius.
(A/N: Honey is Lucius' and Maddie's maid. They treat her like family.)
Maddie: I'm staying here with Helen and the kids are too. Be safe. I love you.
Lucius: Will do, love. Good night, Helen. Good night, kids! I love you too!
(Bob pushes Lucius out)
Helen: Don't think you've avoided talking about your trip to the principal's office, young man. Your father and I are still gonna discuss it.
Dash: I'm not the only kid who's been sent to the office, you know.
Maddie: Other kids don't have superpowers. Now, it's perfectly normal...
Violet: Normal? What do you know about normal!? What does ANYONE in this family know about normal?
Helen: Now, wait a minute, young lady.
Elsa: We ACT normal, mom and Aunt Helen! I wanna BE normal! The only normal ones are Jack-Jack and Luna! And their not even toilet trained! [Jack-Jack and Luna laugh]
Loki: Lucky... [Helen and Maddie angrily look at Loki] Oh, I meant about being normal.
YOU ARE READING
Incredibles 1
FanfictionIn this lauded Pixar book, married superheroes Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl are forced to assume mundane lives as Bob and Helen Parr with their sister-in-law, Maddie after all super-powered activities have been banned by the government. While Mr. I...
