Lucius: So now I'm in deep trouble. I mean, one more jolt of this death ray and I'm an epitaph. Somehow I managed to find cover and what does Baron Von Ruthless do?
Bob: He starts monologuing.
Lucius: He starts monologuing. He starts like this prepared speech about how feeble I am compared to him. How inevitable my defeat is, how the world will soon be his! Yada, yada, yada.
Bob: Yammering.
Lucius: Yammering! I mean, the guy has me on a platter, and he won't shut up.
Police Radio: Municiberg, we have a 23-56...
Bob: 23-56, what is that? Robbery?
Lucius: This is just sad.
Bob: Yeah, robbery. Want to catch a robber?
Lucius: No. Tell you the truth, I'd rather go bowling. Look, what if we actually did what our wives think we're doing? Just to shake things up.
[Meanwhile, on an undercover car....]
Mirage: He's not alone. The fat guy's still with him. They're just talking.
[Back on Lucius's car]
Lucius: What are we doing here, Bob?
Bob: Protecting people.
Lucius: Nobody asked us.
Bob: You need an invitation?
Lucius: I'd like one, yes. We keep sneaking out to do this, and...you remember Gazerbeam?
Bob: Yeah. There was something about him in the paper.
Lucius: He had trouble adjusting to civilian life, too.
Bob: When's the last time you saw him?
Lucius: I don't see anyone from the old days, Bob. Just you. And we're pushing our luck as it is.
Bob: Oh, come on, come on, come on...
Lucius: It was fun the first time, but if we keep doing this, we're gonna get--
Police Radio: We have a report on a fire...
Bob: A fire. We're close! [yelling] YEAH, BABY!!!!!
Lucius: We're gonna get caught.
Bob: WHOOOHOO!!!
[Lucius reluctantly drives forward...]
Bob: FIRE! YEEEAHHH!!
[...as the undercover car follows them both.]
[The camera pans through the inside of a burning building, and then centers on Lucius and Bob, who are both carrying several people over their shoulders]
Lucius: Is that everybody!?
Bob: Yeah, that's everyone!
Lucius: It better be. [He attempts to generate ice in vain)
Bob: Can't you put this out?
Lucius: I can't lay down a layer thick enough! It's evaporating too fast!
Bob: Well, what's that mean?!
Lucius: It MEANS it's hot! And I'm dehydrated, Bob!
Bob: You're out of ice?! You can't run out of ice! I thought you can use water in the air!
Lucius: There IS no water in this air! What's YOUR excuse, run out of muscle?!?
Bob: I can't go through walls! The building's getting weaker by the second! It's gonna come down on top of us!
Lucius: I WANTED TO GO BOWLING!!
Bob: All right! Stay right on my tail! This is gonna get hot!
[Bob turns to his side and begins to run with Lucius following him. They crash through the side of the building into the building next to them. A second outside shot of the burning building shows it collapse.]
Bob: Yeah...
[But he realizes they're in a jewelry store...]
Bob: Uh-oh.
[...and unknowingly trips the alarm on]
Bob [sarcastically]: Oh, good.
[Alarm sounds]
Lucius: Oh, no. That ain't right.
[They both start arguing]
Lucius: We look like bad guys! Incompetent bad guys!
Bob: You can get water out of the air!
[Until an officer breaks in]
Police Officer: FREEZE!!!
[They do]
[Lucius, noticing a water container, picks up a paper cup and begins to fill it with water]
Police Officer: FREEZE!!!
Lucius: I'm thirsty.
Police Officer: I SAID FREEZE!!!
Lucius: I'm just getting a drink.
[He finishes the cup of water and then drops his hands to his sides]
Police Officer: Alright. You've had your drink. Now I want you to---
Lucius: (Holding up hands in mock surrender) I know. I know. FREEZE.
[He shoots a breeze of ice, freezing the officer and even the bullet]
[police radio chatter]
Police Radio: Shots fired!
Officers: POLICE OFFICERS!!
[They enter the building, guns drawn. One gasps and the others turn to look in his direction. The first officer is encased in ice, a bullet from his gun suspended in midair. Bob and Lucius had gotten away safely.]
Lucius: That was way too close. We are not doing that again.
Police Radio: Verify you want to switch targets? Over.
Mirage: Trust me. This is the one he's been looking for and the other one shouldn't be far.
YOU ARE READING
Incredibles 1
FanfictionIn this lauded Pixar book, married superheroes Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl are forced to assume mundane lives as Bob and Helen Parr with their sister-in-law, Maddie after all super-powered activities have been banned by the government. While Mr. I...
