When I woke up early in the morning, for a split seconds, nagtaka ako kung bakit nasa kwarto ako ni baby Francis. Agad ko ring natandaan na dito nga pala niya ako pinahiga kagabi.Tinignan ko ang oras sa phone ko at nakitang alas saiz pa lang ng umaga. It's weekend at wala namang gagawin sa trabaho. Well, unless kung may emergency at kung may importante kaming ginagawa. Most of the time, lumiliban kami every weekend.
I spend my time scrolling through my phone, browsing good music and movies. It's been a long time since I did a movie marathon or listened to music in the past years. Not that I need it though. Kung nasa condo lang ako ngayon o nasa dorm, hindi ito ang gagawin ko. Akari would snap at me to do exercise or do cardio rather than laying on bed.
Kaya sinulit ko ang pag-seselpon. Minutes passed when I momentarily stopped because I felt my son woke up. Nasa malayo siya ng kama. Kita ko ang pagbangon niya kaya agad akong pumakit at kunwari natutulog. I then giggled inward when I felt him move to my side and hugged me before he resumed sleeping.
Napangiti ako sa sarili. He's never clingy. O baka rin hindi ko lang alam dahil minsan ko lang siyang nakakasama. Because of the hardness of my work, my attention and presence is always on it. Palaging naiiwan ang anak ko sa nanny niya at kay Tita kaya panatag palagi ang loob ko. Now that he's being like this, nahihiwagaan ako.
Nang mag alas syete y medya nang bumangon ako. Nasa kabilang dulo na naman ang anak ko. Nilagyan ko nalang ng unan para pangharang.
Agad akong pumunta sa kwarto ko at naligo. Balak kong mga hapon na pumunta sa condo pero nag-text si Akari at sinabi niyang doon daw siya natulog sa condo. Akala ko sa dorm siya. Now that she's in codo, doon na ako mag ma-marathon. Iinisin ko siya at nagpapatugtog ako ng music.
I was grinning at my reflection in the mirror matapos kong mag-bihis. My blonde hair is now shoulder length. My bubbly face is still bubbly but it's slimmer a bit now, making me look mature. My paper white skin is still white. Akari wanted me to try tanning it but I refused. Mas bagay ang blonde hair ko sa paper white skin ko.
I wore loose brown khaki pants and a black one-shoulder cropped tank. Wala nang makikitang stretch marks sa katawan ko. It's long gone and I'm back to my usual shape. I remembered how I cried every time I saw myself in the mirror. Medyo lumaki ang katawan, may stretch mark sa tiyan, ang itim ng dulo ng mata dahil sa kakaiyak at ang greasy ng hair. Isa 'yon sa nagpa-depress sa akin. I would always picture in my mind how Reu would hate me if he saw me like that.
Lumabas ako ng kwarto nang alas otso y medya. Plano kong hindi na mag-uumagahan dito dahil sa condo unit na ako kakanin. Pero palabas pa lang ako ng pinto nang bigla ding bumukas ang kwarto ng anak ko. My son ran outside and was crying hysterically. His nanny was tailing him.
Naalarma ako kung bakit siya umiiyak. When he saw me, he immediately ran towards me.
"Mommy!" he called, still crying hysterically.
"What's happening?" tanong ko sa nanny niyang nakasunod. She looked guilty.
"Where are you going, Mommy? Are you going out again?" My son is now stomping his feet on the floor at nawawala. Lumalandas ang mga luha sa mata at nakatingala sa akin.
"He cried when he couldn't see you in his room," paumanhing sinabi ni Fei. She is the nanny I hired for my son.
Fei tried to hold my son pero nawawala siya kaya hinampas hampas niya ang kamay ni Fei as if he don't want to be touch, now that he's seething with anger.
I sighed and shook my head at Fei. I signalled her to leave us alone. Agad siyang tumango at umalis. Nagmamadali siyang bumaba ng hagdan.
Pagkawala niya, umupo ako sa unahan ng anak ko. Nagka-level ang mata namin, nagdadabog at umiiyak parin.
BINABASA MO ANG
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