Her Twisted Mistake

Chapter 32

It was early in the morning but our pad was thick with tension and drama. My son refused to talk to me. He immediately went upstairs without looking at me. Akari went to him. Carolina was still fuming mad, so she left the condo. 

I was left alone in the kitchen. The sudden silence is so loud I don't want to hear it. Nagugutom ako pero hindi ko gustong kumain bigla. I forgot about my hunger and all I could think about is my son and his sad and hurt expression. 

Inabutan ulit ako ni Akari sa kitchen. Hindi ako kumibo nang iwan nila ako at hindi ko na alam ilang minuto o oras akong nanatili lang sa kinauupuan ko. 

"He's crying hard but he falls asleep." 

I didn't bulge. Instead, I sip on my drink. I can't believe napainom ako sa umaga. Even during my stressful work, it didn't give me the urge to drink it off. Ngayon lang. 

"You should talk to him when he wakes up." 

I nodded. Yon naman ang plano ko. I just let him cry at saka ko siya susuyuin. 

Akari eats despite what happened. When I finished my drink, umalis ako sa kusina at pumanhik sa taas. Pagpasok ko sa kwarto ko, agad kong nakitang bakante ang kama ko. Guilt crept in me. I sighed heavily at saka lumabas ulit. I went to Akari's room at doon ko nakita ang baby ko na natutulog. I immediately went to him. I saw his puffy eyes and his red nose. 

Nanakit ang dibdib ko na nakikita ko siyang ganito. Even though, yes, I made him cry sometimes, he still couldn't stay away from me. It just so hurt now that he was distancing himself. Mapait akong ngumiti at dahan dahan ko siyang binuhat at saka ko siya dinala sa kwarto ko. 

Good thing he didn't wake up. 

I phase back and forth when I put him on my bed. Hindi alam ang gagawin. Ngayon lang ako nawalan ng gagawin. Carolina left the condo and I don't know where she is right now. I can't leave the condo because I have to talk to my son. Para akong mababaliw sa kawalang ginagawa and my thoughts are starting to eat me up. 

Kaya habang naghihintay, binuksan ko ang laptop ko at ipinagpatuloy ang research na ginagawa ko. It helps. I momentarily forgot about my problems. 

Not until four hours later, my son woke up. Agad kong iniwan ang laptop ko para daluhan ang baby ko. 

Namumungay ang mata niya nang lapitan ko siya. Pero nagulat ako nang pagkakita niya sa akin, agad siyang naiyak. As if trauma niya ako at ayaw niya akong makita. 

"Baby, stop crying. Come here. Mommy is sorry," panunuyo kong sinabi pero inignora ako ng baby ko. 

Instead he cried again. For God sake! Kakagising lang niya. 

"I hate you, Mommy! You lied. My Daddy is not a ghost. He's alive!" akusa niya na nasasaktan. His tears streamed again. 

I tried to get to him and hugged him. Pero for the first time, my son didn't want my hug. He trashed at nasasampal ako ng mga kamay niya. He kept saying he hates me. 

Never niya akong sinabihan na ayaw niya sa akin. Just now because of his damn Daddy! He never hurts me whenever he's being hysterical. Hindi niya ako sinasama sa mga pinagwawalaan niya kapag mainit ang ulo niya. He would immediately calm whenever I hugged him.

 But not this time. 

I have to let him go kasi nasagi ng maliit niyang kamay ang mata ko at napuwing ako. My left eye sting. Of course he didn't mean it. He's just really hurt right now and I'm hurting too. I can't believe he wants his father this badly.