23. It Gets Cold

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Winnie had spent the next two weeks with a strange feeling inside her.

She hadn't technically gone back to working for the Dreg's and Kaz had kept her out of any jobs that came up.

She mostly spent her time relaxing in the Crow Club where she had gotten quite good at mastering the various games it had to offer, sitting in her room with her thoughts whilst she summoned a small black tendril of shadows that slid through her fingers, going up to Inej's favourite rooftop and spending the night chatting away with her about all sorts of things, or drinking (monitored) with Jesper as they placed all kinds of frivolous bets.

Occasionally, she would head back to her training room. She found herself doing so when the memories of the past couple of months came back to taunt her. She found the area a place where she could cry, scream, and let out any pent-up anger she needed in the form of improving on her summoning skills.

She had tried time and time again to master what her father would call 'the cut'. It was a method of forming a sharp blade out of the shadows and releasing it towards whatever or whoever needed to be sliced completely in half. She had seen him use it a few times and had always wanted to try it herself.

After learning of her disappearing act, she decided now was a better time than ever, but no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't crack it.

She would try again and again until she became drained from focusing so hard and would retreat to the Slat with disappointment.

When she would return, she would always linger at the door, questioning whether she would find it in her to go and see Kaz that day.

Since the night she had spoken to him in his room, he had been distant.

She had come up with many theories as to why, and the one she had settled on was that he was Kaz Brekker.

The Bastard of the Barrel who never so much as flashed a smile in one's direction, let alone tell them his darkest secrets.

And that was exactly what he had done with her that night.

Did he regret it? Telling her? Saving her? Knowing her?

Winnie had felt a weird attraction towards Kaz since the moment she walked into his office for the first time.

Of course, she didn't just mean in terms of looks. Although, she wasn't complaining that Kaz Brekker was one of the more attractive men in Ketterdam.

She instead meant in terms of their souls.

She felt connected to him in a different way to anyone else and she wasn't yet sure as to why. 

They had such a back and forth relationship in her mind that she sometimes became exhausted just thinking about him. 

Some days she would loathe him more than anything, including her father. And that was really saying something. 

But there were other days. The days where she ... didn't hate him. The days where she cared for him. 

And at some point those days of caring for him turned into something else. Something Winnie wasn't experienced with. 

Winnie vividly remembered the moment she realised she did more than just care for the Bastard of the Barrel.

"There you are, I asked Inej to find you ages ago", Kaz complained as Winnie walked through his office door.

"Sorry, I was somewhere she didn't expect. Don't blame her", Winnie replied as she walked towards Kaz's desk where he was standing looking over a bunch of papers.

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