where will destiny take us?

☆ 8 ☆

"Didn't you just get checked up last week, Valeria?" Doc Jean asked when I sat down on the chair in front of her desk in her office.

"Yeah."

"Did something happen?" Nagaalala niya akong tinignan over her glasses. "May nararamdaman ka ba?"

Galit. Nakakaramdam ako ng matinding galit. 

"Just... something happened. I'm just worried it'll affect me."

"Well..." Inilipat ng doktor ang tingin sa clipboard na hawak niya. She scanned through the pages of paper, nodding every once in a while. "You're doing well. Nothing's changed from last week."

I called an appointment to my doctor when I got home that night. Waiting for the weekend to come was a challenge. Saturday is the only day I'm free so even if kating kati na akong magpa-check up, I waited for this day.

"Thanks, Doc."

Even though Doc Jean already told me that I'm fine, I couldn't help but doubt it. I know something changed in me. I just can't calm down.

I couldn't do my usual things. I can't write. Nothing comes into my mind even if I try to. Kapag nagbabasa ako, walang pumapasok sa isip ko. Kahit sa gitna ng klase, wala na akong maintindihan. So, to keep up with the lessons and to not miss on notes, I recorded every lesson through voice record in my phone. Then, I come back and write notes for everything after school.

Right now, I know there's something wrong with me. I feel disgusted with my own body.

After my appointment at the hospital, dumeretso na ako sa gym. I drove myself with my car. Dad doesn't know anything and I prefer it that way. He asked me about what happened that night when I got home but I got out with a lie. Kahit anong pagod ko, alam ko ang priority ko. And that is to not burden my Dad. Nakakahiya.

"Kanina ka pa?" tanong ni Narda sa akin pagkadating niya sa gym. Tumayo siya hindi kalayuan sa akin at pinanood akong mag-treadmill. Sinalubong ko ang tingin niya sa salaming pader na kaharap ng mga machines.

"Yeah." Ngayon ko lang napansin na kahit naka-headphones ako, walang tunog iyon. Nakalimutan kong magpatugtog. I didn't even notice.

"Aren't you working out too much?"

I got off the machine, hydrating myself with water from my tumbler. "Not really."

"But I heard simula noong isang araw, araw araw kang nag-workout after school kahit may tennis practice ka."

I dismissed her, shutting down her concern. "I'm doing normal."

She's still concerned but I got back on the treadmill, now with music blasting in my headphones. Hindi naman na siya nagtanong at nagsimula na rin sa kanyang workout.