From Foes To Flames

Chapter 35

Oscar

It is now 1 am and the party is at it's peek. People are dancing mindlessly when they are not throwing up somewhere. I decide to look for a more quiet place because drunk Oscar is not a responsible Oscar. I know me and I think sleeping is the best I could do right now. Plus, since I lost Isaac in the crowd, the party is only half enjoyable. I smile.

As I reach the end of the stairs, I look around. I can only make out a few doors since the hallway is dark, so I stop and think. If i were Isaac, I would choose the first door in sight because I am an idiot and a lazy ass - I smile at my logical conclusion. I am about to make the first step as a door at the end of the hallway opens.

My curious eyes dart towards the source of interruption. I squint my eyes due to the darkness and try to make out the person that is currently walking towards me. As the human closes the distance between us, I finally identify the boy as Thomas, the captain of the swim team. He is a cool guy and I therefore greet him with a quick nod. He looks surprised first, but mirrors my reaction in an instant, before turning towards the stairs.

I think for a second: Thomas left the room looking like he is finished with whatever he did in there, which means the room is free now. I congratulate myself again for this great conclusion as I start walking towards that said room. I am really tired and probably also a little drunk - a few hours of sleep will do the trick.

Nothing could have prepared me for the sight I am about to witness and if I had known that the next couple of seconds are this heartbreaking and devastating, I would have never walked into the room, never witnessed that sight, the boy looking directly in my eyes. The moment Isaac Anderson died for me. The name only a sad memory of what could have been.

And then there was hate. A shit ton of hate. A hatred for Isaac, a hatred for Thomas, who I greeted a moment before like good friends. Already drained, I turn around, fast. I have never walked that fast in my life. Anger and sadness fueling me.

And as I leave through the front door, my eyes are already wet. It doesn't take long till the first tear runs over my cheek. I have fucking known from the start that Isaac and me never had a realistic chance, but seeing him with another boy-.

I told myself over and over again that everything will turn out just right in the end, but I once again realize that we don't live in a fucking fairy tale with a happy end. Love, hate, jealousy, guilt - you name it, I have felt every fucking emotion for that boy, but right now I feel nothing, I am void of any emotion for him, I don't want to shed another tear for Isaac but I can stop.

I am currently running like an idiot through the dark streets of Ferndale, the wind cold against my body. Water is still streaming down my face with no sign of moderation in the near future. The spontaneous run must have sobered me up quite a bit, I realize as I stop in front of the big park situated on the outskirts of the town.

And in that very moment I came to the last conclusion for tonight: Isaac Anderson is dead for me.

~~~~~~~

Isaac

Fuck. That look in his eyes.

Everything happened so fast. What a fucking great timing. I didn't even have time to put my clothes back on.

Shit. I fucking know how that must have looked. I wanted to talk to him, maybe even confess, but I think that is obsolete now. Every last spark of hope gone now and that is all my fault. Normally I would blame him for every mistake, every situation that is not according to plan, every misplay, every loss - but he is not at fault this time.

Isaac Anderson you fucking idiot. Whatever that thing between us has been, it is now gone. Drifting away, unable to catch. I can only trace it with my eyes till it is ultimately out of my field of vision. I try to hold on to the moment forever, every emotion I felt for him, that is abandoning me right now.

Like the last rays of sunshine in autumn, before the cold winter air finally drains every color, every beat of warmth for the next couple of months. With the only difference that spring will never come back again. Maybe I am a little dramatic right now, but that is the only thing that keeps me from crying my eyes in this very moment - thoughts of better moments, thoughts of him.

But who am I fucking kidding and therefore, not a second later, heavy tears are rolling down my face. I wanted to call him, tell him to stop and come the fuck back. I wanted to explain everything, maybe even confess, but I once again realize what a fucking screw up I really am.

Burning yourself while playing with fire is one thing, but igniting others in the process is foul and selfish. Not wanting to end as a little ash heap, I finally decide to call the only person that I know has a thick fire blanket - Sarah Anderson.

~~~~~~~

Everyone who knows Sarah Anderson would label her as an anticipatory and patient driver. She always makes sure to check every direction before steering - a model driver. As such, anyone would be amazed at the women's car speeding through the streets of Ferndale right now, ignoring one red light after the other - luckily, no one seems to be awake at this hour.

Isaac is already standing on the pavement as the familiar car abruptly stops in front of the house, worry evident in his mum's face, which causes the boy to smile. He quickly opens the passenger door and gets in, before greeting his mum with a small peck on the cheek.

"What happened, sweetheart?" He really loves his mum - knowing her she had probably worked overtime today, but she still managed to come her in record time.

"I-" He breathes. "I fucked up." Isaac confesses while dropping his head. The boy's hands find their way in his lap, his fingers fumbling. He didn't even realize that the car already started moving again.

"Oh darling." His mom's voice reassuring. "Does it have to do with that boy, Oscar?" Isaac cringes at the mentioning of his name. He nods.

"It'll be okay, trust me." She says.

"Not this time, mum." Another tear rolls down his face as he leans his heavy head on the window and finally closes his eyes. "It is over." He breathes out.