Resurgent~ Back again

Chapter 63

Tris POV
They moved me into a more comfortable hospital room if you can even describe it like that. Tobias has been by my side the entire time, never once leaving me. But Caleb's words continue to replay in my head. "You seem to have lost the baby."

Hearing him say that, well it killed me from the inside. Seeing Tobias's tears come out made it worse, seeing how happy he was about this baby, how happy we both were. This was something we made together, that was for sure ours. And we had it snatched from us.

I blame myself, Tobias scolds me when I talk like that, or if I apologize to him. But I can't help feeling like that, it is my fault. If I wasn't brought back with that serum, I wouldn't have killed a child- our child.

"Tobias." I say and shake his shoulder. We've been in this room maybe four days, and I've gone through many test and procedures. I'm too depressed to care what they do to me. He opens his eyes, and every time I look into his eyes I'm still struck with awe in how beautiful they are.

"What honey?" He asks. His eyes are red and his hair is messy- yet still handsome. He hasn't gotten much sleep, well neither of us have. "I.. I'm sorry." I tell him as the sobs return to me.

He sits up straighter and his eyes are fully awake now. "Tris. What did I say? There's no need to apologize, It wasn't your fault." He says and I know he means every word. It's just me who doesn't.

"If they hadn't brought me back with that stupid serum, then we wouldn't be in this position." I tell him honestly.

"Tris, it's not a stupid serum. You know why?" He asks. I shrug. "Because it brought you back to me." He says and a tear roll off his cheek but I stop it with my thumb.

"Tris, I'd go through this a million times, this pain a million times. If it meant that you got to be with me." He says and I wipe more tears from his face.

"When I lost you tris, my world was taken from me. I got it back with this serum, it's taken away something from us and it hurts, god it hurts." He says and it's his turn to wipe the tears from my cheeks.

"But it also gave us something. The chance to live together, to have a life together." He says. "You sound amity with all this positive energy." I joke through the tears. He chuckles, "No. I'm just sharing with you what I'm feeling." He says and that makes me smile. And I haven't smiled in days.

We haven't brought Luca to visit us yet because Tobias knew it would be very hard on me, and I'm grateful he understands that.

"Morning Tris." Caleb walks in. It's morning but you can hardly tell. It's gloomy and raining outside, the weather replicating my emotions of this week.

"We have some results." He says and Tobias hold onto my hand. "It looks like the side effects are wearing off thankfully, we just have to keep you on a medication for awhile longer." He says and I nod. It feels as if we traded something, our baby for my health.

"You'll be able to leave at the end of the week. We just want to keep an eye on you for a bit longer and get the rest of the results back." He says and leaves the room, Tobias follows him probably to ask him something. So I sit here, listening to the sound of falling rain. Sitting here in captured by my pain and brought down by my misery.