Resurgent~ Back again

Chapter 81

*get ready for feels*

Tris POV
The room seems to spin, voices blending together and colors bleeding into one.

I'm pregnant. Those two words not only flip my life upside down but have me questioning reality.

How is it possible? I was told that because of the serum it would be harder to conceive, and to even keep the baby. But know I'm hearing that there's a little baby inside me, so small but leaving the biggest footprint.

I turn to Tobias and I must've missed the doctor walking out, because we're alone now.

"Tris." He says slowly, probably worried about the daze I'm in. "Tobias--" I breathe out with tears not far behind. I see a grin widening on his face and I laugh as the tears roll down my cheeks.

He bends down in front of me, and wipes the tears with the back of his thumb. "I'm pregnant." I say and just saying it out loud makes me cry more. I sob into his shoulder, wetting his shirt. "Yeah Tris." He says and I pull back, just to be able to see him with tears too.

"This is our child." Tobias says and places a hand on my abdomen, where the non- visible fetus lays.

"How can this be?" I ask him, staring into the blue void of his eyes. "With the serum, and surviving everything I was put through at erudite??" I ask, and the more I talk the more I still can't believe. But also the more Tobias smiles.

"This baby is here, because it's our miracle child." Tobias says and I see it. I can see it, the pain and suffering he endured when I left him. I'd never been able to see it before, or get the full feel even when he explained it. But I can now, and it's like I'm seeing a new layer to him. Giving me a small opportunity to understand him more, or able to connect better now.

I know that this child means the world to him, even if we only just found out. But even with the excitement, fear and worry sets in. I have to keep it, not just for me but for him. I have to keep this baby alive and well.

****
"When should we tell them all?" Tobias asks slipping a pair of grey sweatpants on. He's shirtless since that's how he sleeps. And I'm able to see not only the dauntless flames on his ribcage but the new scratches and scars from erudite.

"I don't know." I say. I'm laying in bed, leaning against the headboard- waiting for Tobias.

"What's wrong?" He asks, and I know what he's thinking. That I should be overwhelmed with joy... Which I am. But more scared thoughts are floating around.

"I'm scared I'll loose it." I tell him honestly, and really the words just spilled out.

"Tris honey--" Tobias says and takes a seat next to me. Pulling the covers over his legs.

"One, don't stress. It's bad for the baby. Second, we're not going to loose this baby." Tobias says and I look at his face as he speaks this. And every part of him seems to believe it, that's how I know he's fully serious.

I lean into him, taking in the warmth his body lends. He turns the lights off, leaving a small glow from the lamp on his nightstand. "What do you think it is?" I ask playing with his hand.

"The baby?" "Yeah, I know it's early but--" Tobias cuts me off.

"A girl." He says and I'm surprised he didn't say boy.

"How come?" I ask looking up at him. He stares off into space for a moment, before responding.

"Just a feeling." Tobias tells me and I smile.

Tobias goes ahead and turns the lamp off, falling to sleep with me in his arms. And that night... I dream of our child.

******
"It's a wheel." Her tiny voice squeaks, with a small lisp to it.

"Yeah, a big wheel." Tobias tells her, hoisting her up in his arms. "It's called a Ferris wheel."  He adds and her bright blue eyes- which she got from Tobias- look intently at it.

"This is one of the places where I fell in love with your mother." He whispers to her, walking closer to it.

"Mommy?" She asks. "Yeah. Where daddy fell in love with mommy." Tobias explains to our four year old daughter.

She smiles, and shows off the little teeth she has growing. "Love." She says, trying the word in her mouth.

"Me love too?" She asks. "Will you love?" Tobias asks, stopping and looking at her- still carried in his tight embrace.

She nods her little head up and down. "Of course. You are going to find someone who loves you very much and sees just how special you are." Tobias tells her. Pouring parts of his heart out to her, things he tells me sometimes- alone.

"But for now, I'm the only man who should love you this much." He says kissing all over her face making her squeal. She giggles as they tackle to the ground, lifting her up and resting her on his chest.

Her little eyes matching the bigger replica of his. "I love daddy." She says and he smiles with the same tears in his eyes he had when she first said that to him. Daddy was her first word.