IDOL || 𝐦. 𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧

⁰³⁰ manta rays

I skip every song that won't remind me of you 'cause if it doesn't
It's not worth the time, I wish I had more time with you. . .
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Somewhere on the Pacific Coast Highway

You couldn't help but feel a sense of awe as you sat in Mikasa's car, soaking up the outside view in all its glory. Your window was slightly ajar, the wind tousling your hair and carrying the invigorating salty ocean spray into the car's small space. The sun cast a golden hue along the jagged cliffside as the symphony of crashing waves filled the air. Each bend in the road revealed a new breathtaking view, an image you would see straight out of a postcard.

You glanced at the woman beside you, her presence filling you with an endless sense of comfort despite the crossroad you found yourselves in. Her face was illuminated by the warm hue of the sun, casting a glow on her ebony hair that looked almost like a halo. Mikasa's eyes were fixed on the road, focused and determined as her hands steadily gripped the steering wheel.

Despite coming to a fragile understanding, the car ride had been mostly silent. It wasn't a bad silence, per se. It allowed you to think. It allowed you to feel. You grounded yourself in the moment, the serene environment outside serving as the perfect backdrop for introspection. This space afforded you the luxury of intertwining your thoughts and emotions without needing words. You simply enjoyed the view, reflected, and found solace in Mikasa's company.

"You know," you speak, like creating a ripple in a pond. Mikasa momentarily flicks her eyes from the road to your face, her eyes holding a silent curiosity. "If you still wanted to run away, I'd understand – just as long as you took me with you."

Gentle laughter tumbles from Mikasa's pink lips, her eyes holding a bittersweet mirth. "There's no need. Besides, you were right. I wasn't thinking straight."

You shrug your shoulders at Mikasa's response, the corners of your lips slightly upturned. "Offer still stands, though," you add with a soft playfulness causing Mikasa to roll her eyes in response.

"I'll keep that in mind," she adds before the car delves into silence again. However, as you glanced into Mikasa's visage this time, you could tell something was bothering her by the slight downward curl of her lips. You could sense a shift in the atmosphere as the once serene silence now carries a tinge of weight.

Sensing her unease, you gently reached out and tucked a lock of stray hair away from her face. "You're thinking too hard," you say softly to give her space to open up.

Mikasa's eyes flick toward you before returning her attention to the road again. She takes a deep breath, her features softening with vulnerability. "Did you mean what you said earlier? When you said that it was hard being with me?"

As Mikasa's question hangs in the air, you find yourself grappling with the unintended after-effects of your actions. You take a moment to gather your thoughts, sighing in your seat as you make yourself comfortable to bare the truth.

"Maybe when we first started seeing each other, I have to admit," you started out shakily, causing a slight fall in Mikasa's face. "It's just- dating a famous person is so much different than dating someone who isn't, you know?"

Mikasa's expression shifts, her brows furrowing slightly as she absorbs your words. She listens attentively, nodding her head to beckon your continuance.

"It was a little overwhelming to know that so many people loved you. I mean, Mikasa, do you realize how famous you are?" you continued, your final question lingering in both of your minds.

As Mikasa begins to process your words, a slight frown settles on her lips. She gazes out the window, the crashing waves echoing the thoughts that swirled in her mind. "I find it hard to believe sometimes," she responds softly. "But it's not something I've ever actively sought after or wanted. I just- I just wanted to act..."