Don't Leave Me Behind || Namjin AU

Chapter Sixty- Nine. Still So Vivid

(A/N: I'm trying to add a YouTube clip of Film Out. But it's not working at the moment :/ I hope you like this chapter nevertheless! 💕🌻)

Warnings: swearing, mention of illness, etc.

Namjoon had to admit that one night at the beach with the boys was rather nice, though not very refreshing.

Throughout that day, after they'd planned to go there, they'd had a lot of relatives and friends visiting them, hearing about the oldest four male's return. Though they mostly came to see Namjoon.

CEO Kim and Kim Soojin, the CEO's wife and Jin's mother, were the first to visit them. Mrs Kim was fatally ill, heartbroken from her beloved son's death, but she would never miss a chance to see her 'other son' no matter how much journeys tired her. Besides, her husband was ready to do anything for her, despite being ill himself. The boys wanted them to stay the night, but they'd to return to their own home anyway.

The other visitors were Jackson, his husband Mark and their five other friends, who were friends with Jin and the other six at both high school and college. Then Chanyeol and Baekhyun, Jin's old friends, came over too. And so did the boys' favorite dongsaengs- Soobin, Yeonjun, Taehyun, Beomgyu and Hueningkai. There were a few others from their workplaces too, and that was all.

Theyd packed up that night and travelled to the beach early in the morning. All the way there, as Namjoon quietly sat thinking at the back of Yoongi's car while the others chatted away, he kept getting deja vu in everything. He couldn't stop thinking about how holiday trips used to be with Jin, and how incomplete everything felt without him.

Even sitting in the backseat, he couldn't help remembering how Jin would lay his head on his shoulder when they sat together in Yoongi's van during a long drive. Though Jin would never really be beside him anymore, Namjoon would keep looking over at his shoulder, only to find that familiar weight of Jin's head missing. He'd keep imagining how contented and calm he used to feel in his presence, and the thought that he'd never really feel that again was crushing.

Even as he sat outside their cabin at the coast with the boys, he still kept seeing Jin in everything and remembering him. All day, they'd been swimming and playing at the sea, and eating grilled beef they made, since Namjoon preferred that instead of seafood.

They'd watched the sun setting into the sea from the front of their cabin, and as night fell, they sat outside the door playing UNO for a while, before Yoongi brought out his acoustic guitar. They listened to him strumming away as they watched the full moon up in the clear night sky along with the stars, it's glowing light reflecting on the dark rippling sea underneath.

Namjoon felt lost, almost feeling as if his mind had drifted off with the cool breeze that swept over them, making his long hair blow out of his face. He sat a little distant from the others, legs crossed as he kept writing 'JIN' on the sand before crossing it out and writing it all over again.

Even though he felt like he was in a whole different world from the rest, quiet and lonely, he could still clearly hear the melodious voices of Jungkook and Jimin, who paired up in singing lyrics that felt so familiar that Namjoon felt his heart clench painfully.

"You, in my imagination
Are so vivid
As if you are right there
But I reach out my hand
And you suddenly disappear..."

As the other men swayed their heads along with the lines, quiet and forlorn with grief of losing one of themselves, the wound still so fresh even after more than six months passing. No matter where they went. How far they were. It still felt like yesterday when Jin was with them. Smiling at them, through all his pain. The moon in their night skies...